A Frightening Situation

 

Inspired by the rip-roaring coverage of atrocities, war crimes, and miscellaneous ruthlessness by America's Official Enemy against the Ukraine in the very same corporate-owned Western media who worked itself to death to cover up atrocities, war crimes, and miscellaneous ruthlessness by the Earth's enemy against Iraq and Afghanistan — not to mention pushing the most insane-ass kind of comic-book lies about (ahem) Weapons Of Mass Destruction — about 18, 20 years or so ago. But, now...? Cripes, man, the Boss Media in the US and its "international community" are all about war crimes and atrocities and bombed civilians and the Hague n'shit. Wotta goddamn joke.

I shit you not, kiddies — if this were a foto of a similar scene in Gaza, of Palestinian women getting ready to resist the terrorism of the IDF and Israeli colonists, do you honestly think Reuters — and MSNBC, CNN, the NY Times, the Washington Post, the Atlantic, all the usual suspects — would run some noble, heart-wrenching piece on ordinary women rushing to the defense of their country against invaders?

Naaaaahhhhhhhhhh. It'd be some horseshit about defenseless, peaceful little Israelis just minding their own while the mean, evil terrorist Palestinians try to resist the defenseless, peaceful little Israelis' attempts to drive them out of their homes and murder them.

The likes of Reuters didn't give a shit about civilians during the US invasion of Iraq, and they don't really give a shit now. They didn't give a shit about war crimes during the US occupation of Iraq and Afghanistan, and they don't really give a shit now.  

30x30 inch medium-res color .jpg image, 1.2mb

Flyover

USAF F-16 "Fighting Falcon" as used by "Thunderbirds" aerobatic team:
Unit cost: $US29.1m; operational cost $US8k/hour

US War Budget FY 2021: $US934bn

US Total Deaths from COVID-19 (as of 05.20.2020): 90,340

11x22 inch medium-res color .jpg image, 1.6mb

Yes, We Can!

"Though I could not caution all, I yet may warn a few:
Don’t lend your hand to raise no flag atop no ship of fools!"
–grateful dead.

Y’know, I’ve been hearing a lot of desperate yammering lately from shit-scared Liberals and Fauxgressives about how I need to support our Boy Emperor Barack Martin Luther Gandhi Aquinas Timberlake Obama The One and the Noble Democratic Party in their struggle against the Evil Rethuglicans. They agonize over the Tea Party freaks and their horrible lack of “civility”, although whenever I try to point out how the Democrats have either cut and run or else actively enabled the Evil Rethuglicans’ takeover on just about every issue — Iraq, Afghanistan, the banks, healthcare, the economy, the environment, you name it — the Fauxgressives promptly proceed to pitch a fit (how uncivil of them) and only seem to be able to respond with mindless chants of “Yes, We Can!”.

Indeed — Yes, They Can:
Bomb civilians in Afghanistan and Pakistan with robotic drone aircraft. This has to be the most pussified way to fight a war you could think of. They’re using “Predator” drones to bomb homes, schools, weddings, and funerals. Funerals, f’crissake. So, where the hell are the Liberals and Fauxgressives while this shit is going on? When George W. Bush was doing it, they filled the streets; where the hell are they now that Barack Martin Luther Gandhi Aquinas Timberlake Obama The One is the one dropping the bombs?

Wiretap the Internet. It’s been reported this past summer that Boy Emperor Barack Martin Luther Gandhi Aquinas Timberlake Obama The One wants to make it easier for the FBI to obtain information about your private emails and Web surfing history as well as enable direct surveillance of Internet traffic in what is a 180° about-face from his lofty campaign promises of 2008, a return to Bill Clinton’s odious “Echelon” program defended by Democrats as “a necessary evil” (yeah, that’s right — Democrats). When George W. Bush wanted to do this, Liberals and Fauxgressives screamed so loudly you could hardly hear yourself think; where the hell are they now that Barack Martin Luther Gandhi Aquinas Timberlake Obama The One wants to spy on American citizens and suppress dissent?

Prop up the banks: Liberals and Fauxgressives like to claim that this was George W. Bush’s doing, but they conveniently forget that it was then-Senator Barack Martin Luther Gandhi Aquinas Timberlake Obama The One who was being the good “house negro” by helping round up the votes authorizing the biggest transfer of wealth from the People to the Rich in this nation’s history. The Liberals and Fauxgressives raised holy hell about this when it was going on towards the twilight of the Bush Regime; where the hell are they now that President Barack Martin Luther Gandhi Aquinas Timberlake Obama The One — with the assistance of the Democratic Party — has continued enriching the banks and Wall Street brokerages at the expense of the foreclosed-on and unemployed?

Let the Gulf Coast die: Back towards the end of last March, President Barack Martin Luther Gandhi Aquinas Timberlake Obama The One served up his “Drill, Baby, Drill” speech — although, of course, he couched it in his classic pompous professorial speaking style, not actually using the GOP faithful’s “Drill, Baby, Drill” phrase in order to avoid freaking out the Liberals and environmentalists (who supported him in ‘08 anyway despite his stated support for offshore oil drilling). Then, as BP’s Deepwater Horizon well catastrophe unfolded, the number-one recipient of campaign contributions from BP sat by and let it happen, even as BP’s attempts to stop the gusher resulted in one pathetic FAIL after another, and BP worked itself to death to keep reporters and news photographers from reporting the extent of the devestation — hell, The Boy Emperor even helped BP suppress reporters by lending the services of the Coast Guard. When George W. Bush sat on his ass and allowed the near-total destruction of New Orleans during Hurricane Katrina, the Liberals and Fauxgressives were howling at full throat; where the hell are they now that Barack Martin Luther Gandhi Aquinas Timberlake Obama The One has allowed the decimation of ecosystems and economies all over the Gulf Coast, and allowed BP to escape punishment?

Appease the Right: From Israel to trade policy to financial “reform” to healthcare, Barack Obama’s your go-to guy for pandering to rightists and Teabaggers. I’ll keep it brief here and concentrate on the prime example: the alleged healthcare “reform” which basically leaves the criminals responsible for our problems in charge. There was endless sound and fury in the media about the healthcare “debate”. Huh, some debate; nurses and activists demanding the inclusion of single-payer healthcare — the system favored by a majority of Americans — in Senate hearings on Capitol Hill were ordered ejected from the hearing room and arrested by Senator Max Baucus, Chairman of the Senate Finance Committee. Obama and his Donkeycratic cronies were so utterly desperate to pass a bill — any bill would do — that they legislated bailouts for insurance and pharmaceutical companies, sweetheart deals with the hospital industry, the compromising away of abortion rights and the supposedly-more-important-than-anything “public option” (a shallow mockery of single-payer) and a measure which forces citizens to become customers of the insurance industry no matter how broke and/or unemployed they are. Meanwhile, at the Democrats’ phony town-hall meetings where they pimped their worthless healthcare “reform”, the places were overrun with Teabaggers busting up the scene — while the Liberals and Fauxgressives just sat on their asses and whined about those mean old Teabaggers. Hell, they knew this bill was a piece of shit; why the hell weren’t they out in the streets and busting up the Democrats’ cheesy dog’n'pony shows? If George W. Bush were putting over a sham like this, you can bet the Liberals and Fauxgressives would be out for blood; where the hell are they now that this same corporate-backed fraud is being perpetrated by Mr. Hope’n'Change?

Bully the Left: I thought I’d save the best for last. During the 2008 campaign, delusional Liberals ranging all the way from United For Peace And Justice to Code Pink were drooling all over Barack Obama, a supposed “peace candidate”, based on one single weak-assed speech he gave at an anti-war rally just before the US invaded Iraq — a speech in which he said he wasn’t opposed to all wars, just “dumb wars”. WTFF? This is a peace candidate? …Fast-forward to this past September 24, when Obama’s FBI conducted raids on the homes of antiwar activists in Minnesota, Illinois and Michigan, issuing grand jury subpoenas to at least a dozen activists. Remember, this was our peace candidate — President Hope’n'Change, the man who emitted a vile “just war” speech when accepting the Nobel Peace Prize. If George W. Bush was pulling this crap, the Liberals and Fauxgressives would be busting blood vessels all over the place, but now all they can say is that we have to support the Democrats, no matter what. No matter what.

Where the hell are they now? I’ll tell you. They’re flailing and failing, able to offer nothing but warmed-over excuses and apologia for Barack Martin Luther Gandhi Aquinas Timberlake Obama The One and the Democrats, telling us that we have to support the Democrats because the Evil Rethuglicans would be worse — yeah, that’s right, we have to support the Democrats because while the GOP sucks, the Democrats suck just a little less, an excuse so lame and tired that it’s gone from amusing to annoying — and that to stay home and not vote in this, The Most Important Election Since The Earth Accreted Enough Material For Gravity To Compress It Into A Sphere, would be to invite disaster.

What, you mean we’re not in a goddamn’ disaster now?

11×17 grayscale .jpg image, 612kb.

Happy Anniversary, Obamabots!

Well, here we are, a year into this glorious new post-racial, post-partisan Hope'n'Change Era, so let's just pause to take stock of all the momentous Change that President Booker T. Obama has brought us:

The Economy: worse. President Hope has given away absurdly huge buttloads of our tax money to bankers and Wall Street. Bonus? Of course. That's what the bankers have done to us for the past year or so.

Health Care: worse. To paraphrase a recent Keith Olbermann broadcast, it's not health, it's not care, and it sure as hell isn't reform. President Change's idea of health care reform involves shutting single-payer supporters out of the "debate", massive corporate giveaways to the health insurance and pharmaceutical industries, the threat of fines or jail for people who don't buy corporate health insurance even if they can't afford it -- and if you can afford decent health insurance, President Yes We Can wants to tax the living shit out of your benefits. Still, with any luck, that Coakley woman will lose that special Senate election in Massachusetts, and it'll be Sayonara Charlie to The Bill That Needs Killing.

Civil Liberties: worse. Some doorknob in Detroit tries to blow up a plane with his underwear, and the next thing we know, President Hope wants to institute Jim Crow for Muslims and make us all to pose for digital x-ray porn. Meanwhile, one of President Hope's fellow Harvard punks over at the Office of Information and Regulatory Affairs wants to assign CIA spooks to troll duty at any blogs that happen to bug him.

Illegal Foreign Wars: worse. President Change -- or, as Code Pink called him during the campaign, the "Peace Candidate" -- makes a big-ass deal out of appearing to seriously ponder the situtation before initiating a 40,000-troop escalation of the war in The Graveyard Of Empires -- or, as it's more commonly called, Afghanistan. The Nobel Prize committee finishes slurping the dregs out of the bottom of the Kool-Aid bowl and awards President Change a Nobel Peace Prize; President Change, on accepting the Prize, gives a pro-war speech. Now, that's class.



So, congratulations to one and all of you Obamabots who allowed yourselves to be motivated by fear and desperation and fall for the first slick-assed huckster who can speak in complete sentences and knows how to pronounce the word "nuclear". I just can't thank you enough.

Medium-res jpg image, 11x17 inches, 556k.

T-shirts and Stickers at Mike's Schwag Shop.

Decision 2012 (pardon my Herblock)

Oh, gaahhhdddd! Not only another election cartoon, but a cartoon with items metaphorically labeled, old-school! Jeez, I can hear my pal Gregor yelling right now... "Goddammit, Mike! Herblock is DEAD!"

Yeah, y'know... once the election ideas get going, it's pretty much hopeless. The usual Repuglican "stars" are already making noises about running; we're hearing about Sarah Palin possibly running (sigh), and Newt Gingrich (spit) -- and I even heard about Dick Cheney (double spit) on Joe Scarborough's program this morning (triple spit).



OK, granted, 2012...I may be a bit ahead of myself, here, but still... if you check out The One's record of achievement (or lack of same) in just his first year in office, plus the rash of FAIL in the special elections this year, you're looking at a raft of Donkeycratic politicians with a whole fistful of "achievements" pinned to their respective asses, and damn' near little ability to defend them come next year's midterms -- which, by the way, will be held after the Afghanistan debacle's had about a year to soak in.

So, would that be next year's repudiation of last year's repudiation?

11x12" medium-res color jpg image, 556k

2012: They Were Warned

It's the end of the world as they know it...
but they feel fine!

Those of you who've followed my work for any length of time will remember my complaints about the early start of the Presidential "election" cycle (John Edwards announced on Christmas Week, 2006) in the form of the four-part "Jackass Slate for 2008".

So, here it is, at least a year before the "official" start of the 2012 Presidential campaign season, and here I am already doing a '12 Election cartoon. I don't know what else I can say for myself, other than that when the muse visits me, she absolutely refuses to quit pestering me until I've committed a creation to paper. It really was a "perfect storm" of events, recently: we had the epic FAIL of the Obama Administration in the areas of healthcare, the economy, and the war in Afghanistan; the Democrats stumbling in the recent elections in Virginia and elsewhere; the GOP hopefuls for '12 already jockeying for position; Obama's approval rating finally dropping to a level representative of normal objective reality; the ominous spectre of a sound butt-paddling for the Democrats in the 2010 off-year elections -- and a movie just out about the end of the world in 2012, which was pretty much the icing on the conceptual cake.

Now, I'm not into clairvoyance or prophecy or any of that woo-woo, but the events of the past year -- most notably the healthcare "reform" debacle -- had gotten me to thinking that at least in one respect, the Mayans may have been on to something...



Medium-res .jpg image, color, 1mb

The Language of Washington

"Bipartisanship..." "On the table..." Y'know, gang, I'm actually from DC, and all this Capitol Hill Sunday Morning doubletalking bullshit still makes my brain hurt. Still, a well-informed citizen is a well-armed citizen; so, after many, many Sunday mornings of slogging through hours of Meet The Press and Hardball and Face The Nation so you don't have to, I've put together this quick guide to the phrases and words you hear the most in Washington.



Medium-res jpg image, 992k

Oooooh, LOOK! The FUTURE!

So, here we are hardly a week into this Shiny New Hope™ and Change™ Era, and we've already pretty much seen what The One and his Donkeycratic cohorts are all about: The Future. They want to move forward, move ahead, don't look back, don't stop thinking about tomorrow (MoveOn just wants to take another swig of Kool-Aid and – move on). They're so much about The Future, in fact, that they want to totally ditch the past – including their enabling of war crimes in Iraq, Afghanistan and Guantanamo, their role as accomplices in the destruction of the Constitution via USA PATRIOT, their endorsement of US-backed Israeli atrocities in Palestine.



Do you people – those of you who know who you are – honestly think the Donkeycrats will so much as lift a finger to bring the Bush mob to justice? Arrest Bush? In your goddamn' dreams. President Timberlake has kept Robert Friggin' Gates on as Secretary Of War, f'cripesake – not to mention that The One has also already gotten his hands bloody in Afghanistan and Pakistan this week. Does this look like the kind of guy who's going to raise so much as a murmur of objection to the crimes of the Bush Regime, anymore than he's spoken barely a whisper about US-financed Israeli war crimes in Gaza? Wake the hell up, US Left.

To bring Bush and the Gang to justice would require the Donkeycrats to admit to their own extensive complicity in crimes against the Constitution, international law, and humanity in general, crimes the Bush Regime could not have carried out without help from the Donkeycrats – kinda like the spot they found themselves in about ten years ago this month. To have impeached Bubba Clinton for his complete "rap sheet", aside from all that blowjob nonsense – murderous sanctions against Iraq, the continuous bombing of Iraq, the "Lewinsky Bombing" of Afghanistan and the Sudan, the two and a half months' continuous saturation bombing of civilians and civilian infrastructure in Yugoslavia – would have required the Donkeycrats to 'fess up to their having allowed it with barely a peep of protest.

In other words, don't hold your breath.

Medium-res jpg image, 872k

Nerobama

So, I'm on the street shooting these demos where people are demanding that Emperor-Elect Timberlake "say something" about the Israeli rape of Gaza, as if with enough pressure – if you call sign-waving and delivering white roses "pressure" – he'll suddenly have a Eureka Moment and go on TV and "do the right thing".



Now, I often like to joke around with my friends about how most Americans' long-term memories don't go back past the last episode of "Desperate Housewives", but lately it seems to be the dead-assed truth, and that includes The Movement™. Anyone who thinks that Obama actually has substantially different ideas about the situation that he's just waiting to express until he's officially El Presidente has obviously already forgotten his notorious wet, sloppy blowjob of a speech he delivered to last year's AIPAC Convention shortly after becoming the presumptive (spit) Donkeycratic Party nominee for Maximum Leader.

So, everybody, just knock it off about getting Barack Obombirana to "speak up" about the slaughter of Gaza. The guy's already said everything he needed to say about Gaza in that lickspittle AIPAC speech. Check it, gang...

Medium-res jpg image, 720k

First Insurgent Aerial Attack Squadron Gear

Are you getting pissed? I mean, really, REALLY pissed? Well, don't just sit there doing bong hits and watching "Adult Swim" -- ­get up, rise up, and show 'em your shoes! Show your solidarity with the Iraqi shoe-throwing reporter! Let 'em know you're ready to "keep 'em flying"!



Black Cotton t-shirt, $20.99;
3.5" button, 10-pack, $24.99;
2.25" button, 10-pack, $15.99

...and, check out more Official FIAAS Gear here!

Mission Accomplished!

So, I'm poring over the Drudge Report in my daily search for cheap laffs, and finding out what the Enemy is up to, and I come across this Associated Press dispatch from Baghdad reporting on the Iraqi reporter who threw his shoes at President Chimp, and thinking "whoa, that's some cheap laffs – and he almost hit the sonofabitch, too! Sweet!" and move on with whatever I was doing...



Later that day, I go by Drudge again, and find another story from Agencie France-Presse noting that the perpetrator of this "shoe-icide attack" is being hailed as a hero in most of the Arab World, and the next thing I know the whole world's raising hell to get the guy out of prison, it's being reported that he's being beaten in custody, there are demonstrations and rallies all over in solidarity, and I'm thinking...holy shit, this story's really grown some legs, man!

Medium-res jpg image, 650k

Obama's Big Bus!

At least up until the last "election" or two, you used to hear a lot – especially from the Donkeycrats – about the proverbial "Big Tent", ostensibly used to symbolize the Party's diverse constituencies, but actually just a cheesy way for your Party to pander to segments of the voting population it normally wouldn't give the time of day to.

Once again though, huge props to the Obama Cult for taking this concept a bold step further. Amazing, how quick and efficient he was, too.



Hear that, UFPJ? Hear that, Code Pink? He already wants to expand the war into Afghanistan? He's roped in your votes, he's got what he needed from you, now your ass is under the bus!

Environmentalists? Didn't he shift his position on offshore oil drilling? D'ohh, under you go. Looking like some awesome parties at the Inauguration, though.

Gays? Lesbians? Let's not even go there. He doesn't even want you to be able to marry. He's even invited that born-again creep, Rick Warren, the Purpose-Driven Gay Basher, to speak at his friggin' Inauguration! Why the hell did you all go for him so much? Doesn't matter, you're gone anyway. Crunch. Ouch.

I could go on, but you can see where I'm headed. The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round...

Medium-res jpg image, 650k

A Fox Five Exclusive!

So, while I'm just finishing choking down the news about the DC Gummint -- at the urging of Fox Channel 5 News -- trying to sock the ANSWER Coalition with a fine for exercising basic Constitutional rights, I get a mailing from Rob Naiman's "Just Foreign Policy" list mentioning that their Iraqi Deaths Estimator has just rolled over a million. That's right, a million Iraqi dead since the "Shock'n'Awe" of March 2003 -- or 1,012,979, to be exact, as I write this.

That's right, one Friggin' MILLION. Jesus Herbert Walker Christ. And that's not counting the million and a half or more Iraqis this nation murdered with sanctions throughout the 1990s (nobody died when Clinton lied? My ass.).

I'd been noticing lately that Fox News hasn't spent a whole lot of time reporting on Iraq because, y'know, there just isn't any goddamn' good news coming out of that goddamn' place, unless you count some oft-repeated DoD press release mentioning that the Army has rebuilt some goddamn' stretch of highway from the airport (that they bombed the piss out of just a while back).

Yeah, when your Empire's crumbling, the outrage and dissatisfaction are so palpable you can cut 'em with a goddamn' knife, the one thing you need your press to be doing is exposing the nefarious doings of bands of left-wing wheatpasters defacing the Seat Of Our Empire with free expression.

Left-wing posters? In OUR Capital?

Medium-res jpg image, 852k

Payback's A Bitch

So, anyway, I see last week where Congress approves another million billion zillion dollars for President Chimp's War in Iraq. No surprises there. Then, this bridge collapses in Minnesota, to much wailing and voyeurism from the press, and the predictable calls for us to send our prayers to Minneapolis -- even though no prayer requests were forthcoming for the victims of similar bridge collapses caused by US bombing of Iraqi civilians.

Shortly afterwards though, Congress somehow manages to find another few hundred mil or so under their sofa cushions -- a huge-ass surprise, to see that anything was left after the million billion zillion they just poured into the friggin' war.

Then, this past weekend, as reported so gloriously on AP, President Chimp himself pays a visit to the collapse site and casts his own personal eyeballs on the scene, allows himself to be personally spoken to by a common, ordinary worker, makes a big fat promise about repair and restoration -- but, get this, he says "I make no promises on the timetable"; he never was much on timetables, was he -- has his picture taken in a hardhat surveying the devestation, gets back onto the helicopter, and flies home.

So, all this stuff starts crashing together in my head -- fat wads of cash pissed away on an illegal war, public works budgets going begging, bridges collapsing in the USA -- at which point the conceptual collisions build to critical mass and, just as the pile detonates, my first thought out loud is, "whoa, payback's a bitch!"

Medium-res jpg image, 604k

It's Going To Be a New Day...

Well, fan-damn tastic! The Armani Democrats are in the house! Let's find out what new, exciting changes we'll see on these major issues...
I'll never forget seeing Nancy Pelosi on Meet The Press back in May; after mentioning that the impeachment of President Chimp is "off the table" -- despite having a record of impeachable offenses as long as his arm -- she then goes on to say that when the Democrats get a majority in Congress in November, "it's going to be a new day"... a statement almost as cringeworthy as her appearance on the NBC Today Show in November of '02, after her election as House Minority Leader, where she declares the Democratic leadership "stands shoulder-to-shoulder with President Bush" in the rush to war in Iraq.

Geneva Convention, medium-res jpg image, 581k
Due Process, medium-res jpg image, 710k
Foreign Policy, medium-res jpg image, 581k
Economy, medium-res jpg image, 581k
Peace "Movement", medium-res jpg image, 710k

"Birth Pangs of a New Middle East"

Is it just me, or did Secretary Of Snake Condolee-ee-ee-eezza Rice make one of her weirdest statements ever last weekend -- even weirder than that NBC "Today" interview where she said "freedom is on the march" about half a dozen times? Oh, and I love the part where she says that "We're going through a very violent time." "WE"? What do you mean "we", white woman?



All in all, though, quite a bout of birth pangs, there; shame it couldn't have been a more quiet, serene and peaceful birthing experience, like Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise's baby.

Medium-res jpg image, 744k

Nuclear Threat

I saw on the morning news the footage of the first successful synthesis of uranium by the Iranians. I saw a scientist holding up this little capsule of radioactive gas with this theatrically triumphant attitude. As I heard the pundits clucking on TV, I reminded myself, "OK, Iran's finally gone nuclear, but who's the real nuclear threat in the Middle East?" Every time I asked myself this, I kept coming up with the same answer:



BIG HINT: it begins with an "I", ends with an "L", and has "S-R-A-E" in the middle. Has anyone else noticed how the US Press and the State are shitting themselves over Iran finally managing to produce some crummy-assed smidgen of enriched uranium, while failing to point out that Israel has enough nukes to make a ring of craters around itself?

Let's take a calm, close look, here. On the one hand, we have a nation that's just now reached the Pinky And The Brain stage of nuclear development; on the other, a nation with at least 200 functional nuclear weapons of various types -- most of which were supplied by the USA -- on standby, ready to light the place up. Those of us out here who aren't profoundly retarded can see who the real nuclear threat is here, and would really appreciate it if the US Media would quit jerking us around.

Medium-res jpg image, 676k

Out of Iraq, Into Darfur

Did anyone else here see those Liberals at the April 29th New York City peace mobe toting signs sponsored by Working Assets reading "Out Of Iraq, Into Darfur"? Yeah, it sounded pretty damn' whacked to me, too.



I mean, c'mon...can you believe that Amnesty International is supporting military intervention in Darfur? Yeah, that sounds even more whacked than a rally of 10,000 Liberals on the Mall a couple of weeks ago yelling for President Chimp to invade... uh, that is, "save" Darfur. Y'know, through the past decade and a half at least, I haven't seen a single "humanitarian" crisis -- real or perceived -- that the US State hasn't tried to exploit for either resource extraction or imperial expansion: Somalia, Kosovo, the Sudan, you name it. If anything about Darfur is "saved", it's going to be the big-assed puddle of oil sitting underneath Sudanese soil.

Imperialism and militarism aren't tools for solving problems -- they are the problems. Even the quickest examination of US foreign policy and behavior over the past fifteen years would show you why "Out Of Iraq, Into Darfur" is about the most cockamamie idea to come along since "Anybody But Bush".

Medium-res jpg image, 581k

Stay the Course!

Finally, a Plan For Victory! Oh, sure, the GOP may not have any real plan -- and the Democrats may be even worse -- but at least the Bushites have the good sense to put up big signs all around the stage reading "Plan For Victory" whenever President Chimp gives a speech. All the Democrats have is Howard The Duck, living in a party he never made.

Seriously, the Bush Regime flacks must have assumed Americans are even stupider than they actually are to serve up that old Reagan-era bromide "Stay The Course" when, in fact, there were a goodly number of us who remember that load of bullshit from back when it was still fresh and steaming. The war in Iraq is shaping up to be a Fail even more epic than Vietnam, and all President Chimp can think of is to say "Stay The Course". What was that old Pete Seeger song... "waist-deep in the Big Muddy, and the big fool says..."



In 1989, one Dr. Francis Fukuyama penned what had to be one of the most conceited loads of triumphalist blathering ever, The End Of History, in which he claims that the fall of the USSR and its satellite regimes in Eastern Europe heralded the end of the struggle between Good and Evil (aka Capitalism and Socialism, or the absurdly distorted, simplistic media images thereof). What I found especially laughable was Fukuyama's treatment of the USA as a state that was somehow immune to collapse and above it all, the "winner" of the aforementioned struggle when, in fact, even as US politicians and pro-capitalist idealogues celebrated the victory of "freedom", the first rumblings of the collapse of the USA could be heard in the form of NAFTA and George I's initiation of renewed imperialist adventurism in Panama, Iraq, and Somalia.

The end of history? No, sorry, Dr. Fukuyama, what you heard in '89 was just the first shoe dropping. Seriously, Dr. F, didn't you realize that if a regime the size of the USSR could end up as historical roadkill, it could just as easily happen to the USA? Jeezus, what is it with these goddamn' Harvard jerks?

Medium-res jpg image, 903k

Fallujah Minuteman

God damn, well, I declare! Have you seen the like?
Their walls are built of cannonballs,
their motto is 'Don't Tread On Me'!
--grateful dead.



In 1776, gangs of raggedy-assed guerrilla resistance fighters took on the largest, best-equipped, best-trained Imperial Army on the planet, and dished them out a harder licking than they ever expected...and you know the rest. So it is in 2004, when gangs of raggedy-assed guerrilla resistance fighters take on the largest, best-equipped, best-trained Imperial Army on the planet, it's looking once again like King George's goons are going to get a worse whuppin' than they ever expected. Seems as if even as they crow about how much of Fallujah they "control", the largest, best-equipped etc. Imperial Army is actually being surrounded, jumped, and sucker-punched every time they turn around by the aforementioned raggedy-assed guerrillas, as the Resistance spreads across Iraq, and King George's boys are left "squeezing Jello" in Fallujah. And it's to them, the Iraqi resistance, the "Minutemen" of Fallujah, I dedicate this cartoon. Viva la Fallujah!

Medium-res jpg image, 1.1mb