What's In A Name?

"Meet the new boss, you’ll be amazed at the similarities between him and the old boss." —Eoin Higgins on Twitter, 02.23.2021  

What's in a name? I mean, what really is a "detention facility", anyway? Apparently, anything Gropin' Joe and his flunkies say it is, or isn't.

No matter what the answer, I have to admit that it was deee-lish reading about how White House mouthpiece Jen Psaki faceplanted and Liberals twisted themselves into pretzels trying to convince us that kids in cages are not, in fact, kids in goddamn cages.

"We CaN pUsH hIm LeFt...!" 

BWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA  

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Sweethearts

I can't pretend I'm not enjoying this. Don't ask me to explain why, but watching the Democrats faceplanting has been a guilty pleasure of mine for some years now.

The Democrats have built a stellar reputation on snatching defeat from the jaws of victory, and this week's impeachment circus didn't disappoint. Caught Trump dead to rights instigating mob violence and an attempted putsch, and the Senate GOP told the Democrats to pound sand as per usual, leaving the Democrats once again stomping their little feet, blustering and whining like Joe Besser. 

Well, I just hope the Dems have finally gotten this shit out of their system. Maybe now that this shitshow is over, they can get to work getting us some decent COVID relief... and maybe some friggin' healthcare...?

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Impeachment II: The Reheated

"We have the unusual circumstance where on the very first day of the trial, when those managers walk on the floor of the Senate, there will already be over 100 witnesses present" 

—Rep. Adam Schiff (D-CA), 02.08.2021

Well, hot damn diggety; nothing fills me with confidence quite like the poetic, sage pronouncements of Mr. Russiagate, himself. Meanwhile, Jamie Raskin is cementing his role as the Tired-Ass Cliché User In-Chief:

"...Donald Trump surrendered his role as commander in chief and became inciter in chief."

This hot mess isn't exactly going to be last night's lasange, that's for goddamn sure — and those of you who love leftover lasagne like I do know what I'm talking about, and I'm the goddamn Leftover Lasagne Lover In-Chief.

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Go Fish

Wow, that two grand sure went away in a hurry, didn't it? I know I'm sure not feeling too grand right now. But, enough of this gay banter.

In a trademark eleventy-dimensional chess move, the Democrats' promised $2000 stimulus checks promptly turned into $1400 shortly after the special runoff election in Georgia. Needless to say, your "progressive" voters — along with the millions about to lose their homes — are not amused. 

Meanwhile, up here on Capitol Hill, shit's gettin' real. We'll be back down to $600 before we know it.

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