5.01.2011

Obama's Birth Certificate

So, just to recap:

When the Egyptian Revolution broke out, it was weeks before Obama could come up with anything to say about it — and when he finally did, it was a bunch of weak, mumbled platitudes about people wanting “change” in remarks that sounded as if they were meant to be delivered at a Chamber Of Commerce convention.

When the Libyan Revolution escalated into civil war, Obama sat on his ass for at least a month before doing the only thing he knows how to do — and, from all accounts, Obama’s just joined the Bush League over there as well.

Meanwhile, in Syria, where the government has called out the military to crush demonstrations and other popular dissent, Obama’s done nothing but “consider sanctions”. I’m sure Assad’s pissing in his shoes over that news.

In Yemen, the government’s escalated its crackdown on mass demonstrations. Nothing from the White House but the sound of crickets chirping.

In Bahrain, the government is ratcheting up its intimidation of journalists and bloggers. Obama’s got nothin’. He did drop some really good Donald Trump jokes at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, though.

And, speaking of combovers… with the wave of popular uprisings against authoritarian rulers sweeping across North Africa and the Middle East, it’s nice to see that hasn’t distracted Obama’s focus on his all-important birth certificate situation; yessir, folks, he’s totally on top of that issue.

In his short, curt remarks following the long-anticipated release of his long-form birth certificate, Obama commented that he didn’t “…have time for this kind of silliness”. What’s hilarious about this is that in his allowing himself to be baited by Donald Trump, he’s only increased the flow of silliness. In response to the release of Obama’s real, actual birth certificate, proving that he was, in fact, born in Hawaii — which became a state about two years before he was born there — the Birthers still don’t believe he’s a citizen, and are now complaining that he’s still not qualified to hold office because he grew up in “a Muslim country” and didn’t attend a US public school, and any number of other excuses.

In a lot of ways, your Birthers are like your Fake Moon Landing Conspiracy nutjobs — even when presented with absolutely incontrovertible evidence that they’re wrong, their brains are ratcheted so tightly that they can only come up with even more absurd excuses as to why the evidence is faked, or that more evidence is needed. Remember when the Lunar Reconaissance Orbiter transmitted its first set of low-orbit, high-resolution images of the Apollo landing sites, clearly showing Lunar Module Ascent Stages, deployed scientific instruments, parked rovers — and, in some cases, rover tracks and trails worn by the astronauts’ boots on the surface? Most folks thought this would shut the Fake Moon Landing kooks up for good. Huh, some hope. As I’d personally predicted among friends, when the first LRO images of the Apollo sites were released, the very first response from the Fake Moon Landing nuts was that the images were faked with Photoshop.

It’s the same with the Birthers; their first responses were some lame crap about how it’s a “layered” pdf, it’s just a pdf image and we have no physical copy to inspect, it’s a fake, it’s a fake, it’s a fake — and the media’s falling all over themselves to cover this clownshit to the exclusion of everything else, except for the Royal Wedding. Dumbasses. Why am I not surprised?

Medium-res grayscale .jpg image: horizontal format, 772kb; vertical format, 568kb.