Miss Kabul

 

Elvis has left the building. At last.

...and as the band was playing him out, the Beltway chattering class was in a mass conniption over all those poor, helpless collaborators we left behind, and our lack of political will, and how, if we could only piss away another trillion or two and tough it out until mid-century, we could lick those mean old Taliban once and for all.

In the days leading up to Elvis' departure from the building, the press was full of screeching and howling about how this wasn't going to be like the evacuation of Saigon, honest it wasn't, seriously, for real — and the louder they howled, the more convinced I was that it would be like the evacuation of Saigon, except even more awesome.

I was 18 when I watched terrified Embassy flunkies being plucked off the roof by the choppers on TV. The draft had officially ended around 1971 or so, but I still had to register. Got a ready-to-burn card and everything. The day Saigon fell, I was about two weeks from graduating high school, and classified 1-H.

Turn out the lights, the party's over...!

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March Of The Clones

"March Of The Clones" Washington DC 09.24.16 from Mike Flugennock on Vimeo.

This past Saturday saw yet another smoking protest at the White House, calling on President Sparkle Pony to deschedule cannabis from the DEA's schedule of narcotics and dangerous substances. This week's protest had a Star Wars theme, "March Of The Clones", and also used the famous Han Solo Carbonite Freeze scene from Return Of The Jedi as an analogy for Obama's continued inaction on cannabis scheduling.

Police vs. Cannabis: an Infographic

Ignore the anti-legalization shrieking and propaganda, and consider this little factoid: Police have murdered 765 people in the US this year – so far. Meanwhile, absolutely 0 – count 'em, ZERO – people worldwide have died as a direct result of smoking cannabis through all of recorded history.

That's right, smoking cannabis will not kill you – unless you do it in front of a moving bus. See you in DC on September 24!

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He Can't Say "Radical Islam"

Never mind that the stew of motives for the Orlando nightclub mass shooting pretty much includes everything but ISIS. Never mind that the shooter's attachment to ISIS was on the level of a metalhead's allegiance to his favorite band (Dokken RULES!). Once the media got the slightest whiff of an ISIS connection, they and the politicians were on it like a dog with an old shoe, pausing only briefly to pretend to care about gays and lesbians before returning to the ongoing ISISfest – which brings us to Donald "You're Fired" Trump.

Despite the shooter's ISIS connection being weak at best, it didn't stop The Donald from a spasm of self-congratulatory yelling and screaming about ISIS and Muslims and immigrants and kicking Obama's nuts by bitching about Obummer's seeming inability to say the words "radical Islam". Never mind that B.O. has bombed at least seven countries in his term in office, or that he's had this country perpetually at war in the Middle East, or that he hasn't lifted a finger to stop the wave of hate and discrimination against American Muslims -- dude can't say "radical Islam", and maa-aan, has it got The Donald's panties in a twist.

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#HesWithUs

So, aaaanyway... Bernie and Obummer met at the White House this week to talk about the future of the Democratic party or someshit, but not before Obummer spewed out a ringing endorsement of the Ice Queen. Russia Today says Bernie's not dropping out, but the Washington Post says he is. Seeing what the Post has queefed out the better part of this year, I'll go with Russia Today on this one.

If you ask me, though, Obummer endorsed Hillary, and then when Bernie showed up, Obummer and the Ice Queen took him around back to the Rose Garden, offed his ass, then dragged him out in front of the cameras when it was time for him to drop that mumbling about how he was going to "work with Clinton against Trump".

Don't forget that he said right from day one that he'd support the Ice Queen if she won the nomination.

Hell, he's not dead; he's just resting. He's pining for the fjords.

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Hail To The Choom

In his high school days in Hawaii, Barack Obama hung out with a circle of friends nicknamed "the Choom Gang" -- "choom" being Hawaiian slang for smoking marijuana. Almost all the students in this group went on to be entirely productive and successful citizens -- writers, lawyers, businessmen and, of course, President of the United States.

This is by way of reminding everybody out there that cannabis is still listed by the DEA as "Schedule 1", along with meth and heroin, and that Obama could start the descheduling process for marijuana himself instead of passing the buck to Congress. Obama himself is living proof that cannabis should be descheduled; his legacy could only be improved by ending a program of persecution based entirely on the deceptions and racism of Harry Anslinger and Richard Nixon.

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22 A Day

At last report, 22 veterans a day are committing suicide due to depression and other post-traumatic stress. Today, DCMJ and the Weed For Warriors Project threw a Smoke-In and Die-In at Lafayette Square in front of the White House. "Easier access does not equal EQUAL access" said WFW's Brandon Wyatt, an Iraq War veteran and attorney who uses cannabis to heal his PTSD.

"22 A Day" Cannabis Protest for Vets, White House from Mike Flugennock on Vimeo.

The DEA's Schedule is Nixon's Schedule

The DEA schedule of narcotics -- in which cannabis is classifed alongside heroin -- was a product of the Nixon era, when the modern War On Drugs started cranking up. Tricky Dick himself, on a leaked White House tape, was said to have called marijuana "...the drug of choice of Mexicans, hippies and niggers."

Here's former White House Domestic Affairs Advisor, the notorious John Ehrlichman, with a slightly more nuanced framing of this policy in a 1994 interview:

“The Nixon campaign in 1968, and the Nixon White House after that, had two enemies: the antiwar left and black people. You understand what I’m saying? We knew we couldn’t make it illegal to be either against the war or black, but by getting the public to associate the hippies with marijuana and blacks with heroin, and then criminalizing both heavily, we could disrupt those communities. We could arrest their leaders, raid their homes, break up their meetings, and vilify them night after night on the evening news. Did we know we were lying about the drugs? Of course we did.”
--John Ehrlichman, Nixon Domestic Affairs Advisor, 1994

The DEA schedule is Nixon's schedule, part of a policy born out of deception and racism. It's time to DEschedule cannabis.

We'll be at the White House on May 20, how about yourself?

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He's Late!

Yesterday, following on the heels of a successful "Smoke-In" protest earlier this month, was DCMJ's historic meeting with White House officials from the Office Of National Drug Control Policy concerning the rescheduling or descheduling of marijuana from its current status at Schedule 1 -- listed alongside heroin and methamphetamine. Along with combat veteran Brandon Wyatt of the group "Weed For Warriors", DCMJ leaders Adam Eidinger and Nikolas Schiller spoke to the ONDCP representatives at length on the need for a political -- rather than scientific -- solution to the current cannabis prohibition situation. Citing the racism of Federal Narcotics Bureau Commissioner Harry Anslinger (responsible for the initial Federal ban on cannabis in the 1930s) and, later, President Nixon in the late '60s and early '70s, Eidinger asserted that because cannabis prohibition was a political act, a solution to end prohibition must also be political.

Eidinger and Schiller called for a followup to this meeting at a higher level, a "bud summit" at the White House with El Presidente himself. "He doesn’t even have to say anything," commented Eidinger, "he just needs to listen. Because it’s going to take a year of dialogue at the federal level to figure out federal legalization.”

Listening to a recording of the ONDCP meeting at a "post-mortem" meeting back at the DCMJ office, conversation turned toward the fact that Obama was late in deciding on how to handle Federal legalization; "late for 4/20" was the joke going around the room, and it inspired a literary analogy "hook" on which to hang a "hashtag point" -- #HesLate -- and this cartoon.

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#reschedule420

We're moving 420 to 4/2 because Obama has been a big, fat ZERO on cannabis rescheduling!

So, join us at the White House on April 2 at 2pm for an afternoon of truth, fun and protest. Get more info at dcmj.org or follow DCMJ on Twitter.

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Mission Accomplished, no. 2

So, Liberals... how'd that Hope'n'Change horseshit work out for you?

Here's Obama's "George W. Bush Moment".

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"Progressive" Sanders Loves Him Some Drones

I was just checking out this short article in The Hill today about Pwogwessive hero Bernie Sanders and his declaration that he wouldn't end the US drone warfare program. Can somebody please tell me again why I should so much as lift a finger to support this brazen hypocrite? Check this out:

“I think we have to use drones very, very selectively and effectively. That has not always been the case,” Sanders said.

No shit, Sherlock. Christ, is this clown really the Great Progressive Hope? Are you friggin' kidding me, man?

“What you can argue is that there are times and places where drone attacks have been effective,” he added.

Oh, yeah, especially against weddings, funerals and schools. Now we know why Bernie doesn't spend much time discussing foreign policy, and prefers to keep beating the shit out of that old economic inequality riff. If Pwogwessive America found out too much too soon, they'd bolt the Donkeycratic Party and run like the place was on fire.

Basically, what we're got here is a warmed-over Obama, with the economic inequality rhetoric dialed up a notch or two for all the gullible bougie pwogwessives. Dude had to be dragged kicking and screaming into addressing the ongoing police reign of terror against Black America, and he'd probably still be ignoring the issue if #BlackLivesMatter hadn't publicly gotten all up in his shit about it.

This doorknob needs to stop referring to his sheepdog campaign as a goddamn' "revolution". It's really offensive.

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Historic Handshake

So, this week at the Summit Of The Americas, President Sparkle Pony and Cuban leader Raul Castro met for the first time, shaking hands in what's being hailed as some kind of iconic moment. Needless to say -- for some otherworldly reason -- the US Left's nipples are exploding with delight.

I'd like to suggest that my fellow US lefties calm the hell down -- after all, this is President Drone Strike we're talking about here, and he's obviously trying to corral the Pwogwessives back onto the Democratic reservation for the 2016 Electoral Freak Circus.

More importantly, I really do hope Mr. Castro has the sense to look the hell out, and not turn his back for a moment. After, this is President Drone Strike he's dealing with here.  

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DC Voted "Yes", Dammit!

 Y'know that old joke about how if voting could really change things, it would be illegal? Well, check out the shit that's going down right here in DC. Go on -- take a good, long, steamy LOOK.

The Democrats -- yeah, the same Democrats who bitched about having an election stolen nearly 15 years ago, and who are still bitching today -- were ready to bargain away the franchise for residents of the District Of Columbia just so they could get a budget authorized to keep the goddamn' government from shutting down.

Cromnibus Island

Just sit right back, and you'll hear a tale --
a tale of a fateful bill...

 
Remember when Obummer said he backed DC on marijuana decriminalization? Me, neither.

Yesterday, Obummer stated that he disapproved of Congressional meddling in DC's ballot initiative to legalize marijuana, but that he wouldn't veto the "CRomnibus" budget bill.

You got that? He's willing to let Congress overturn a free election in the Capital of the United States if it'll get his goddamn' budget passed. He says he opposes interference with Initiative 71, but HE WON'T UPHOLD THE ELECTION.

Let that sink in for a minute.

Still standing with Hillary? 

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In Search Of Legacy

With the conclusion of the recent Dempocalypse, President Sparkle Pony is about as lame as a duck can get. In fact, he holds the record, having been a lame duck pretty much since he took office.

So, according to this recent report at Al Jazeera, he's jetting off to Asia trying to forget about the election and be all Presidential and statesmanlike n'shit, trying to beef up his "legacy", whatever the hell that means.

I don't know what he's so worried about; between the drone warfare, the shielding of war criminals, the climbing into bed with bankers, the corporate healthcare sweetheart deal, and the NSA, it looks like President Hope's got more legacy than he can shake a stick at.

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Nobel War Prize

With the commencement of operations in Syria, and sneaking back into Iraq, this makes seven Muslim nations Obama has attacked since he took office.

That's seven countries in six years. Dude deserves some kind of prize for that.

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Another Beheading

Police thuggery escalating? Economy in the toilet? Approval rating approaching Justin Bieber levels? What's a Nobel Peace Prize winner to do?

Of course! Start another war in Iraq!

And, needless to say, the Ferguson police are all like "Awright! News cycle! Woo hooooo!"  

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Happy Anniversary, President Drone!

 It was five years ago this week -- this past Thursday, to be exact -- that President Sparkle Pony kicked off his murderous drone warfare campaign. Not even a week in office, and already we had some change -- you've got to give him that.

So, I was reading this article over at the Bureau Of Investigative Journalism and saw this graph showing President Sparkle Pony's massive escalation of remote-control murder compared to President Chimp, and on viewing the layout of the bars showing the figures for Obama, I couldn't help noticing something...

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Follow the Bureau Of Investigative Journalism on Twitter.

...and, here's some more of El Presidente's dronetastic moments from days gone by:
"Well, Waddya Know?" December 2013
"I Have A Drone" January 2013
"I Am The Joker" July 2012
"My Little Party" February 2012
"Are You In?" April 2011
"Yes, We Can!" October 2010

Chris Christie Festival

It's time once again for the latest headlines of the day on MSNBC... and here with the headlines is Barbie Anchorbabe...

It's not as if there hasn't been a metric shit-ton of important news happening in the past week or so. You've got the Mexican "autodefensas" battling the drug cartels, the Fullerton, California cops who beat and tasered a homeless man to death, Obama's worthless tap-dancing NSA speech -- but probably the biggest story of the week has to be the massive chemical spill in Elk River, West Virginia, which left 300,000 people in nine counties without fresh water.

Of course, you wouldn't know that from watching the Democratic Party noise machine in action at MSNBC, which has spent almost all of its available air time this week on the trumped-up "Bridgegate" scandal in New Jersey involving Governor Chris Christie, who's also considered a major hopeful for the 2016 GOP Presidential nomination. Coincidence? Naaahhhh.

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