Have Another Pretzel, Mr. President!

Yeah, sure, call me sick; ask me if I care. I'll proudly admit to having laughed until I damn' near wet my pants on hearing the news that President Chimp had nearly choked to death on a pretzel while watching football on TV at the White House, and that my first subsequent thought was "have another pretzel, George!"


I'd also like to take this moment to start spreading around a new expression, to signify that moment when a cocky, hubristic institution suddenly realizes, alas too late, that it's bitten off more than it can chew and can't stop itself choking: "Biting The Pretzel" ...as in "whoa, Dubya's really biting the pretzel in Iraq, huh?"

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Four More Years, no.1

So, President Chimp had his "Mission Accomplished" moment, and America got all cocky and full of itself -- just in time for the city of Fallujah to burst out with a wave of resistance and fightback, culminating the the capture, execution of several Blackwater mercenaries, followed by the burning of the corpses, and their hanging from a bridge near the edge of town. Media reports translated the irate Iraqis' chants into "Fallujah Is The Graveyard Of Americans", but I have a sneaking suspicion that what they were actually chanting was "Four More Years!"


Finally, the Iraqis of the town of Fallujah had all they could stand, rose up and kicked American ass, starting with the aforementioned gang of Blackwater corporate mercenaries. For a good week, the news media continued to insist that those punks were "civilian contractors" despite eyewitnesses report that said "civilian contractors" were wearing Kevlar vests and packing automatic weapons. Finally, NBC finally broke down a week later and started calling them "civilian SECURITY contractors", which is about as good as it gets for NBC. I suppose they were "contractors" in the sense that they had a contract with the US Regime, and were paid large amounts of money, but let's face it -- they were mercenaries, guys whose job it is to kill and be killed for whoever gives them the best deal.

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