11.05.2006

It's Going To Be a New Day...

Well, fan-damn tastic! The Armani Democrats are in the house! Let's find out what new, exciting changes we'll see on these major issues...
newday5part650wI'll never forget seeing Nancy Pelosi on Meet The Press back in May; after mentioning that the impeachment of President Chimp is "off the table" -- despite having a record of impeachable offenses as long as his arm -- she then goes on to say that when the Democrats get a majority in Congress in November, "it's going to be a new day"... a statement almost as cringeworthy as her appearance on the NBC Today Show in November of '02, after her election as House Minority Leader, where she declares the Democratic leadership "stands shoulder-to-shoulder with President Bush" in the rush to war in Iraq.

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10.12.2006

Who Says There's No Manufacturing...

So, I guess it really does mean "Found On Road Dead", huh? So, I'm chewing over the news of the mass layoffs at Ford recently, and I find myself asking the question that about a zillion other people in this country are asking, namely, "Is there any goddamn' manufacturing being done at all in this goddamn' country anymore?" and I suddenly realize, "Hell, yeah! There's..."

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And besides, think about it...you pull the patty out of the freezer, you throw it onto the grill, you throw the cheese on, you let it melt, you throw it onto a bun and wrap it in that funky foil wrap, and whammo! You've manufactured a burger! Now, quit whining and get me my fries.

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9.01.2006

A Year After Katrina...

Ahh, it's "election" season once again! This one slammed head-on into my brain after reading little bits of Dubya's speech on the Katrina anniversary, after seeing the montage of drowning victims in Spike Lee's documentary, and after reading in various news reports that a year after the hurricane, corpses were still being found.

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7.25.2006

"Birth Pangs of a New Middle East"

Is it just me, or did Secretary Of Snake Condolee-ee-ee-eezza Rice make one of her weirdest statements ever last weekend -- even weirder than that NBC "Today" interview where she said "freedom is on the march" about half a dozen times? Oh, and I love the part where she says that "We're going through a very violent time." "WE"? What do you mean "we", white woman?

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All in all, though, quite a bout of birth pangs, there; shame it couldn't have been a more quiet, serene and peaceful birthing experience, like Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise's baby.

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6.08.2006

Nuclear Threat

I saw on the morning news the footage of the first successful synthesis of uranium by the Iranians. I saw a scientist holding up this little capsule of radioactive gas with this theatrically triumphant attitude. As I heard the pundits clucking on TV, I reminded myself, "OK, Iran's finally gone nuclear, but who's the real nuclear threat in the Middle East?" Every time I asked myself this, I kept coming up with the same answer:

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BIG HINT: it begins with an "I", ends with an "L", and has "S-R-A-E" in the middle. Has anyone else noticed how the US Press and the State are shitting themselves over Iran finally managing to produce some crummy-assed smidgen of enriched uranium, while failing to point out that Israel has enough nukes to make a ring of craters around itself?

Let's take a calm, close look, here. On the one hand, we have a nation that's just now reached the Pinky And The Brain stage of nuclear development; on the other, a nation with at least 200 functional nuclear weapons of various types -- most of which were supplied by the USA -- on standby, ready to light the place up. Those of us out here who aren't profoundly retarded can see who the real nuclear threat is here, and would really appreciate it if the US Media would quit jerking us around.

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5.17.2006

Out of Iraq, Into Darfur

Did anyone else here see those Liberals at the April 29th New York City peace mobe toting signs sponsored by Working Assets reading "Out Of Iraq, Into Darfur"? Yeah, it sounded pretty damn' whacked to me, too.

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I mean, c'mon...can you believe that Amnesty International is supporting military intervention in Darfur? Yeah, that sounds even more whacked than a rally of 10,000 Liberals on the Mall a couple of weeks ago yelling for President Chimp to invade... uh, that is, "save" Darfur. Y'know, through the past decade and a half at least, I haven't seen a single "humanitarian" crisis -- real or perceived -- that the US State hasn't tried to exploit for either resource extraction or imperial expansion: Somalia, Kosovo, the Sudan, you name it. If anything about Darfur is "saved", it's going to be the big-assed puddle of oil sitting underneath Sudanese soil.

Imperialism and militarism aren't tools for solving problems -- they are the problems. Even the quickest examination of US foreign policy and behavior over the past fifteen years would show you why "Out Of Iraq, Into Darfur" is about the most cockamamie idea to come along since "Anybody But Bush".

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2.01.2006

Hillary in 2008!

Hillary, Hillary, Hillary! What could I possibly say about Hillary Clinton that hasn't already been said about the sensation of having red-hot steel needles plunged into your eyeballs? Those bugged-out eyeballs, that phony horse-toothed smile, that hectoring schoolmarmish speaking style, those posh outfits, that insufferable sense of entitlement that oozes out of her every pore and orifice -- there's just nothing about Hillary that doesn't inspire a good, healthy, deep-down hatred inside of me.

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I'm almost at the point of actually hoping that they do nominate Hillary just for the entertainment value of watching the Democratic Party crater good and hard, one last time, for good -- I've got the beer in the cooler, the Jiffy-Pop on the stove and the lounge chairs set up and ready for the big Fail -- so that folks who want real change can sweep aside the wreckage to make room for a real "peoples' party".

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