Season's Greetings

 

For the workers who died at a candle factory in Kentucky, and an Amazon warehouse in Illinois, for every worker forced to risk their life without proper protective gear or healthcare, in the middle of a pandemic and a tornado, to keep the profits coming in and the supply chain stocked so we can buy our daughters a Fighter Pilot Barbie for Christmas… Season’s Greetings from Capitalism.

“The bosses won’t keep us safe; they only care about profit. Workers are the only ones who know what is safe and what is not. We should decide whether to continue working or not. For that purpose, we need to fight for Health and Safety Commissions to be set up in all workplaces that will function independent of the bosses, that are democratically elected, and that can organize to impose protocols and shut down production when necessary.

Not one more dead worker at the hands of the bosses! Our lives are worth more than their profits!”

Left Voice, 12.14.2021

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...in the headlights

Yep, that’s right, kiddies. You heard right — they actually looked us right in the face and said they didn’t see it coming. Cripes, everybody else and their dog saw it coming; it was on the TV and the papers and the Internet for weeks, months. Same with Delta.

Really — the leaders of the most powerful nation on Earth, with a metric buttload of information and resources at their disposal, didn’t see the latest’n'greatest Covid variant coming? Y’mean, they couldn’t get hold of somebody at the WHO, the CDC, the NIH, the Salk Institute who actually knew a thing or two about virology who could’ve thrown them a heads-up? If there’s nothing else Anthony Fauci ever did that was worth a yard sign, this was it.

So, they didn’t see it coming? Uh huh. I’m thinking there’s something else that bunch isn’t going to see coming, either.

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...Or The Virus Wins

Remember right after Nineleven™ when the travel industry and retail were imploding, and Bush and that bunch were telling everybody to “go shopping, or the terrorists win”? Welp… same deal here. The State and Capital won’t do what needs to be done to keep us safe and to eradicate Covid-19, and have chosen instead to go with “herd immunity” (a.k.a. “mass death”) to serve Capital at the expense of the working class and their families.

…and speaking of serving Capital — all the sudden squawking about the “supply chain” kinda smelled funny to me from the get-go simply because every major US media outlet and their uncle all started yelling ZOMG SUPPLY CHAIN almost simultaneously, as if somebody threw a switch, not unlike all the screaming about the “labor shortage”. My suspicions were pretty much confirmed the other day when, while catching my daily 15 seconds of MSNBC, they were doing their daily Supply Chain Meltdown and one of their “guest analysts” was the CEO of Mattel.

Yeah, that’s right; that’s what this pants-crapping is all about — not enough Barbies at Wal-Mart for Christmas.

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Live With It

 

And, there we have it — we've gone from "we're all in this together" to "live with it". Like, screw you — just shaddup and live with it; they're through even pretending to care.

So, what else will we be expected to "live with" — labor exploitation? Fascist thugs ruling the streets? The end of the goddamn Earth?

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The Old Donkey And The Sea

Basically, Obamacare all over again. The Democrats threw out everything their constituents ever wanted from the “Build Back Better” bipartisan (spit) infrastructure bill in order to please President Manchin and the GOP, and the rest of us got nothing — and the Democrats and their mouthpieces on MSNBC will, of course, yell and scream about how awesome a bill this is until their nipples explode with delight.

Still, y’shoulda seen that whopper before the trip back, before the sharks got hold of it.

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For All Pigkind no.2: To Oligarchy, And Beyond!

So, Jeff Bezos thinks he can tug at my old Boomer heartstrings by sending up 90 year-old William Shatner (and his toupee) on Blue Origin's latest suborbital joyride, while continuing to shit on his workers and dodge taxes. Meanwhile, Elon Musk has opened new vistas in whiny excuses for not paying taxes on his obscene wealth by puking up a bunch of balloon juice about Mars and "the light of consciousness". Nice try, guys — but, no. Also a big "no" to these guys at the Space Review trying to spin it as an important insight into the effects of microgravity on old rich and famous people.

My plan is to use the money to get humanity to Mars and preserve the light of consciousness

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) October 28, 2021

And elsewhere in the Space Review, one of their regulars can't shut up about the "normalization of space tourism" — for anyone who's so goddamn rich they have the price of a long weekend at the ISS lying around under their sofa cushions.

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Havana Syndrome

 

Well, at long last revealed: the source of that noise that’s driving the staff of the U.S. Embassy in Havana — and the U.S. State Department — outta their goddamn skulls.

Why, it’s the sound of a successful Socialist state right in our backyard, inventing a fistful of Covid-19 vaccines, being recognized by a major U.S. medical journal, helping to vaccinate the rest of the region, treating healthcare as a public good and beating down the pandemic — all while under continuous blockade, economic warfare waged by the U.S.

No wonder Gropin’ Joe and Skinny Mike Pompeo are screaming “SOMEBODY MAKE IT STOPPPPP!!”

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I Love New York

Here’s one in solidarity with our comrades and neighbors in the UK, where PM Boris Johnson is basically engaged in the same kind of slow genocide currently being revved up in NYC and elsewhere in the USA — forcing children back into school buildings with inadequate protection or distancing and no remote instruction options during a surge in one of the deadliest pandemics of the past century — with the attendant government and media distortions and cover-ups galore.

The TL;DR here is that they just don’t care anymore, or at least have quit pretending to care. Every goddamn politician and TV talker using the term “herd immunity” doesn’t really know or care what it really means; it’s their vile-ass code for “let everybody die” — or, for the rest of us, “look the hell out”.

So, it’s grand to see that parents are waking up and doing it for themselves both in the UK, and in New York City, where DeBlasio is desperately trying to plaster a big ol’ happy-ass “I Heart NY” sticker on the whole mass-homicidal debacle that’s already killing children in the UK and here across the Pond.

Just a little something to keep in mind the next time you see the entire US press plastered with images of fascist chuds screaming and crying about their “medical freedom” when required to comply with the simplest and most basic and effective public-health measures.

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Met Gala

 

It's a story as old as time — or at least as old as the Democratic Party: discover a groundswell of pro-worker, progressive sentiment; find yourselves a fresh, charismatic candidate who does a great job of pretending to be progressive; rope in Left voters to help elect her — at which point she turns around and starts engaging in empty, performative protest and fluffy media talk while she runs cover for the DNC donor class, while the working class is left with less than zero once again.

So it was at the Met Gala in New York City this week. While police brutalized protesters outside the Gala NY Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, the Liberals' current reigning Yas Kween, was inside showing the bourgeoisie how bad-assed she was by sporting a message in support of tepid, half-assed reformist Liberal legislation that does absolutely jack to separate the 1% from even the most minute subatomic particle of the obscene wealth they've been hoarding at working-class expense.

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Second Line!

 

So, after getting the worst of Hurricane Ida, Louisiana is about to get the worst of the still-ongoing oil spill from somewhere in the thousands of miles of decomissioned and abandoned pipeline — previously owned and operated by who the hell knows who — on the bottom of the Gulf Of Mexico.

"The Bureau of Safety and Environmental Enforcement has allowed the offshore oil and gas industry to leave 97 percent of pipelines (18,000 miles) on the seafloor when no longer in use" since the 1960s, said a report issued by the Government Accountability Office earlier this year.

— "Oil Leak off U.S. Louisiana Coast Continues to Spread", TeleSUR English 09.09.2021

It's as if they're getting two hurricanes down there.  

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Happy Trails!

 

Is it just me, or has The Atlantic become our one-stop shop for tone-deaf shit takes? My current favorite clunker concerns the fascist abortion law in Texas, and its potential to turn out the vote for the Democrats. Yeah, that's right — Texas has gone full-on fascist with this shit, a fistful of other states are reportedly considering going that way, and the Democrats' number one priority is — exploiting encroaching fascism to rustle up votes and money for the midterms, and herd the Left back into the Party. Git along, little dogies. H'yahhh.

if you are playing games with repoduction rights to stick it to the other side in the midterms then you're not fighting for anyone's rights, you're fighting for your own power. And while we see you doing nothing in power except offering empty promises for when you get more, no

— vegan honk thinks it's fucked, @VeganHonk666 on Twitter

C'mon, Trigger, we can still ketch 'em...! Yippie Ty yi yayy!

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Stealing Our Souls

 

There's a new strain of Covidiot virus going around among healthcare workers — proof that Stupid can strike any of us, though if you consider how long it takes to become a doctor vs. how long it takes to become a nurse, it all makes sense.

There have been a couple of outbreaks of the new Stupid Variant in the past week, in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia, and in New York. A close read of the thread in which Max Blumenthal tweets the NYT article tells me, personally, that Blumenthal is about to dive down the anti-vax rabbit hole if he hasn't already. He seems to imply at one point that PhD's were among the most reluctant to take the vaccine, which proves nothing except that having a PhD doesn't make you immune to the Stupid Variant — nor does not being a Trumpster.

But, back to the outbreaks of Covidiot Virus. You know how back in the 1970s and '80s you'd read every so often about some National Geographic documentary crew going deep into the Amazon jungle or someplace and encountering some tribe that's lived in isolation for a thousand years, and they see the cameras and video images of themselves for the first time and freak out because they think the cameras are stealing their souls? Well, how different is that from these doorknobs who think that Bill Gates is putting microchips in vaccines, or that taking cow dewormer and shitting out your stomach lining will cure Covid-19?

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Afghan Women's Liberation no. 2 (or, Won't Somebody Think Of The Women?)

 

When the US first set out inflicting two decades of destruction and misery on Afghanistan the Liberals, true to the old Phil Ochs song, were never more red, white and blue — and the Liberals' most appallingly cynical appeals for support for that debacle came from the "imperial Feminists" who tried to tug our heartstrings with horror stories about burqas, illicit nail salons, and no HBO. 

So, it was no surprise when America's Imperial Feminists picked up where they left off, joining the chorus of bitching, pissing, moaning and sour-graping about their being run out of Afghanistan, reviving the tired old bromides about women's rights and how the US "left women behind" when it dragged its bloody ass out of the place after twenty years in the Graveyard Of Empires.

The most unctous of these was an article in The Atlantic which dragged out every one of those tired old arguments, hoary old horseshit so old it's got SCSI ports on the back. What was merely appalling twenty years ago is absolutely godawful today, considering the current abuse of working-class women in the US, and in US satellite states like Saudi Arabia:

One reason that we stayed in Afghanistan so long with nothing to show for it except the safety of women, @CaitlinPacific writes, is that for all of our sins, our default position is freedom.

—The Atlantic, @theatlantic on Twitter, 08.19.2021

Says on the author's profile that she traffics in "thought crimes for all occasions". I wouldn't know about that, but that article of hers sure is a goddamn crime, I'll tell ya that for free.

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This Is Your Captain Speaking...

 

I present for you now, ladies'n'gents, my very first cartoon of the 2024 Presidential campaign — and leave all hope behind...

Human remains were reportedly found in the landing gear of a US military plane after it departed Kabul airport, with harrowing unverified footage purporting to show a person trapped on the plane’s exterior as it took off...

...In footage too graphic to publish, presumably filmed through a window by a passenger on board the plane, the person was seen trapped outside the craft in mid-flight, though it is unclear exactly when the video was captured or how long after the C-17 took off.

— RT.com, 08.17.2021

 

...and the tweet in question has since been pulled for "violating the Twitter rules" — though, luckily, that evil, terrible old Russian-controlled media nabbed us a frame or two. I wish I'd jumped on it and downloaded a copy of the video as soon as I saw it — barely 7 months in, and we already have a disgustingly apt visual metaphor for the entirety of the Biden Years.

This is your future, working-class America.

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Miss Kabul

 

Elvis has left the building. At last.

...and as the band was playing him out, the Beltway chattering class was in a mass conniption over all those poor, helpless collaborators we left behind, and our lack of political will, and how, if we could only piss away another trillion or two and tough it out until mid-century, we could lick those mean old Taliban once and for all.

In the days leading up to Elvis' departure from the building, the press was full of screeching and howling about how this wasn't going to be like the evacuation of Saigon, honest it wasn't, seriously, for real — and the louder they howled, the more convinced I was that it would be like the evacuation of Saigon, except even more awesome.

I was 18 when I watched terrified Embassy flunkies being plucked off the roof by the choppers on TV. The draft had officially ended around 1971 or so, but I still had to register. Got a ready-to-burn card and everything. The day Saigon fell, I was about two weeks from graduating high school, and classified 1-H.

Turn out the lights, the party's over...!

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Up, Up, And Awa-aayyy!

 

Alright, just so I'm straight, here... we're being thrown out of our homes, we're losing our jobs, there's a new COVID-19 wave hitting, fascists are terrorizing our streets, the cops are mass murdering us — not to mention that millions of us all over the country still don't have broadband service — and Mr. Counterinsurgency Big-Shot at the White House wants to fly balloons over Cuba to "provide internet service" while they hijack connections to broadcast US State Department propaganda, including the Voice Of America.

Christ, I hate this goddamn country. I really, really fucking do.

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At Last!

 

Despite the vaccine, we're still getting sick and dying in huge numbers out here. We're also still unemployed or trapped in shit jobs, or being thrown out of work, about to lose our homes. Some of us are already homeless and our poverty has been criminalized. Some of us are being murdered by the police.

In the face of all this, what's Priority One for the Democratic Party?

Giant asteroid hurtles toward Earth. A liberal basks in the glow, "Now Trump is going to pay!"

 — Vastleft, @vastleft on Twitter 08.09.2021

Yep, you guessed it. Their empty-ass January 6 show investigation which will achieve absolute zero, and which will be dragged out clear into the midterms to raise money.  

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A Great Day For America (or, That Aged Well)

 

Late this past spring, even while the Delta Variant was spreading in Europe and elsewhere, Gropin' Joe went on TV in the White House Rose Garden, pulled off his mask and declared the pandemic over, calling it "a great day for America" — following later this summer with what had to be the weakest, most pointless COVID vaccine policy ever. Regular testing and a mask requirement? That's it? Not "get vaccinated or get fired"?

Needless to say, the Washington Post and crew were right on top of it, cranking out articles about how wonderful it is to be re-emerging, to go back to "normal", sometimes vaguely insuinuating that people still wearing masks in the grocery store were "the new weirdos" — as opposed to the knobs who thought they were being muzzled and forced to breathe their own CO2, who were last year's weirdos.

Yeah... that sure aged well, didn't it? Seems that Biden & Gang are employing the same strategy Trump did after the last election.

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Axis Of Resistance

Cuba hanging tough, helping vaccinate the world, getting solidarity and help from all over; Bolivia bouncing that fascist hag Añez; Sandanistas standing firm against US-backed "SOS" astroturf; Venezuela clapping back at US-backed provocateurs and third-rate wannabe Jack Ryans; Peru tossing Fujimori... yeah, these are the kind of "red states" I like. 

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Zombie Republic

 

California... prophet on the burnin' shore... where Gavin Newsom is whipping the kids back to school so he can whip their parents back to work, where new cases of COVID-19 are up 165% in Los Angeles County at least partially due to brilliance like this:

"...Los Angeles County Sheriff Alex Villanueva stated that the mandate will not be enforced as it is 'not backed by science' and contradicts the guidelines of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), which recommends only that the unvaccinated wear masks."

— "COVID-19 cases rise by 165 percent in California since lifting of restrictions in June", wsws.org 07.22.2021

The reputation of the LAPD and the L.A. Sheriff's Department was already so deep in the toilet they couldn't possibly make it worse — until the goddamn sheriff of L.A. County decided he was going to be their goddamn doctor, too.

A hundred and sixty-five goddamn percent. 

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Meanwhile, in Miami...

Meanwhile, in Miami, the pro-Cuban "democracy movement" consists mostly of pissed-off gusanos who want their grandfathers' casinos back.

Weird how this just keeps happening

— Socialist Sysadmin, @reset_by_peer on Twitter 07.13.2021

And recently, the gusanos' scrawny-ass rallies in support of the US-instigated Cuban "color revolution" have featured large numbers of the "Proud Boys" fascist gang — along with other assorted Trumpsters and January 6th insurrectionists — and the gusanos don't seem to give a rat's ass one way or the other, likely because they're a bunch of fascists themselves. It's so obvious at this point that you could hang a lampshade on it.  

Just as in the 1930s — scratch an anti-communist, find a fascist.

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Low-Priority File

...and apparently, for the Washington Post and the Democratic Party, holding their President to account for unfulfilled campaign promises is lodged in a low-priority file somewhere between "Can't Be Bothered" and "Tough Shit".

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For All Pigkind

 

In the space of about two weeks, I'm hit with the news that trillionaire serial worker abuser Jeff Bezos has found someone willing to throw down $28 mil for a suborbital joyride with him — and that Elon Musk will refuse to recognize Earth laws in his gated suburbs on Mars. Doubtless Musk will have some Space Force grunts on-call to keep a lid on things out there.

I'm especially bugged that Bezos has chosen July 20 as his launch date; I'm sure he thinks he's making some deep statement or something, but instead I'm just insulted somehow. Christ, 28 million dollars to go suborbital with Jeff Friggin' Bezos. Bah, I'd rather ride Apollo 13.

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Auditioning for QAnon

   

This time last year, it was Tom Cotton, Steve Bannon and those doorknobs at the Epoch Fail — uh, sorry, Epoch Times — pushing the 100% evidence-free "Wuhan Lab Leak" conspiracy batshittery, and the Washington Post — along with anyone else with two synapses to rub together — were laughing that shit right outta the room.

So, this past week, it was with more than a little begrudging awe that I watched the Democratic Party, the Washington Post, CNN, Wall Street Journal and friends slam on the brakes, jerk the wheel around, kick in the afterburners and execute a full 180° Emergency Bat-Turn on the Wuhan Lab Leak zaniness. China's the new Enemy Of The Month, and Gropin' Joe needs some dirt on China, so they're dragging Steve Bannon's dirty hot mess out of the dumpster. 

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Brain Freeze

  If you're old enough to recall Gropin' Joe's role in the Drug War, and him firing a bunch of White House staffers earlier this year for having once smoked marijuana, then you aren't the least bit surprised to see him screwing over DC by siding with fascists... oh, I'm sorry, the GOP... against the citizens of DC — who, I might remind you, voted 70% to legalize cannabis...

...which somehow brings us around to Gropin' Joe's love of ice cream — and his new favorite flavor, the "Brain Freeze"...  

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Mow The Lawn

So, the other day I'm doomscrolling the news from Gaza, and I stumbled over this 8 year-old Truthout article that somebody dug up and tweeted. The callousness of Washington foreign-policy think tanks — and the Israeli general public — is perversely spectacular:

Israeli hardliners joke about the periodic need to decimate each new generation of Palestinian militants as “mowing the grass,” a process underway again in new bombardments of Gaza. This ugly metaphor has also penetrated the think-tank world of Official Washington, as ex-CIA analyst Elizabeth Murray learned...

In early 2010, one of Washington DC’s most prestigious think tanks was holding a seminar on the Middle East which included a discussion of Israel’s December 2008-January 2009 assault on Gaza which killed about 1,300 Palestinians. When the death toll was mentioned, one expert on the panel smiled enigmatically and intoned: “It’s unfortunate, but every once in a while you have to mow the lawn.”

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Panic Buying

The Colonial Pipeline hack attack caused gas shortages all around the US, sparking massive amounts of mindless — and straight-up stupid — panic buying, and Israel was no exception — and the US, of course, was happy to sell them all the shit they could burn in Gaza this week.

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Won't Somebody Think Of The Shareholders?

No doubt that day last week will go down as "Black Wednesday" for all the death'n'misery profiteers out there: the day the US Trade Representative's office announced its support for a waiver of patent protection for COVID19 vaccines developed by Pfizer, Biontech, Novavax, and Moderna — and Wall Street crapped its pants. 

After week after week after week of hell raised about places like India, where they're dying like flies and can't get enough vaccine because American corporations, true to form, are hoarding the supply and the IP protection — the US Trade Rep has decided that waiving patent protection on vaccines during a worldwide pandemic might be a pretty good idea after all... and this hasn't stopped Wall Street from doing the voodoo that it do so well — setting shares of all four of those companies dropping like a rock on Jupiter. 

Buddy, can you paradigm?

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God Damn You All To Hell

Saturday Night Live died with John Belushi. That's it. That's the blog post.

 

pic.twitter.com/ziirugIcaf

— Miley Ray Cyrus (@MileyCyrus) April 24, 2021

 

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Blue Lives Matter no.2

Mere hours after the Derek Chauvin verdict was handed down, Columbus police shot 15 year-old Ma'Khia Bryant to death after she called the police for help as she was being threatened. That's right; she called the goddamn cops for help, and they shot her — after which police taunted bystanders with declarations of "Blue Lives Matter!". 

And while that atrocity was going on, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was sharting out the following hot, sloppy bucket of White Liberal Bougie Politician horseshit:

Speaker Pelosi: "Thank you George Floyd for sacrificing your life for justice ... Because of you and because of thousands, millions of people around the world who came out for justice, your name will always be synonymous with justice."
—The Recount @therecount on Twitter, 04.20.2021

...and here I thought Pelosi had totally hit bottom with that taking a knee in a kente cloth stunt. Christ, that goddamn woman needs to just shut the hell up, resign from office, and retire back to San Francisco with her huge-ass fridge full of overpriced ice cream.

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DNC Ramen

From the party that brought you DNC Dog Food, New Blue Money Detergent, Blue Box Chardonnay, and their Premier Donut Assortment now comes — DNC Ramen! Just the thing to blow that big-ass $2000 — uhh, that is, $600 + $1400 — stimulus check that we were supposed to be getting. Never mind that Gropin' Joe, Jon Ossoff and Raphael Warnock came right out and said in front of god and everybody that their being elected would allow the immediate passage of $2000 per person in Covid'19 relief.

That would be two thousand —count 'em — two triple-zero dollars. Not the measly $600 and the "oh, alright" $1400 after that, which is what Snopes uses to give its master class in triangulation and "meaning of is" asshattery in an attempt to "fact check" what Biden & Bros said right in front of our personal faces. Luckily, we now have fact-checker checkers.

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Vaccines Are For Cucks

I'm just going to leave this here...

"it’s crazy to watch all my California and NYC friends scramble for vaccine appointments meanwhile in Texas I get a text from the local hospital every week begging people to sign up for extra doses they have because everyone here is anti vax and so many vials are going to waste" —abby govindan, @abbygov on Twitter 04.04.2021

 

"We should also open up special graveyards for anti-vaxxers . . . who die because they didn't get vaccinated. Every gravestone 'Thought vaccines were for cucks'." —Trotsky of the 21st Century, @LTrotsky21 on Twitter 04.05.2021

 

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I'm Rubber, You're Glue

If by "dust-up diplomacy" the Washington Post means "insult world leaders to their faces in public and fling around wild accusations based on the fabrications of a right-wing freak who thinks he's on a 'mission from God' against communism", then yeah, sure.

So, while the Post is going all ga-ga over these apeshit shenanigans, I just have to ask why they weren't shitting their pants they way they did when Trump was calling other countries "shitholes".  

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Independence Day

“If we do all this, if we do our part, we do this together, by July Fourth there’s a good chance you, your families and friends will be able to get together in your backyard, or in your neighborhood, and have a cookout and a barbecue and celebrate Independence Day...” —Joe Biden, 03.11.2021

So, that's the big-ass far-reaching goal here, huh? A "good chance" we'll be able to sorta kinda hang out on the Fourth of July. Not that the Fourth Of July has really meant anything at all to me in the past 15, 20 years, but still... that's the big challenge to the nation?

D'ahh, well. Granted, that speech wasn't exactly JFK's "We Choose To Go To The Moon In This Decade" challenge, but sometimes you just have to take what you can get.

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Boop Boop Bee Doop!

Ever since the 1988 Dukakis tank-driving campaign ad ushered in the modern era of media fuckery, all the way through to Nancy Pelosi's fridge, the Democrats have been the Party Of Just Not Fucking Getting It. F'crissake, the woman who sang the Anthem at CPAC wasn't as tone-deaf as the goddamn Democrats.

Senator Sinema a little too happy for poverty wages to remain pic.twitter.com/ze2T2CGtML

— RootsAction (@Roots_Action) March 5, 2021

And so it was that Sen. Kyrsten Sinema (D-AZ) gave us her own Marie Antoinette moment, live on C-SPAN, as she cast her "no" vote on the minimum wage raise in the current toothless COVID Relief Bill. 

Have this woman's staff and media people just once taken her aside and reminded her that C-SPAN telecasts live from the floor of the Senate, where the whole goddamn planet and their cats can see her feckless hijinks? 

My guess is that people like Sen. Sinema are fully aware, but just don't care — and that this moment is not just indicative of her own attitude, but that of the entire Democratic Party.

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Listen To The Science!

Oh, sweet jeeeeeezus, where do I even start with this? What, are they taking a break from slagging on Maduro? It's almost breathtaking, the way the Post is so obviously, openly mortified that the poor are being vaccinated first in Mexico...

What's In A Name?

"Meet the new boss, you’ll be amazed at the similarities between him and the old boss." —Eoin Higgins on Twitter, 02.23.2021  

What's in a name? I mean, what really is a "detention facility", anyway? Apparently, anything Gropin' Joe and his flunkies say it is, or isn't.

No matter what the answer, I have to admit that it was deee-lish reading about how White House mouthpiece Jen Psaki faceplanted and Liberals twisted themselves into pretzels trying to convince us that kids in cages are not, in fact, kids in goddamn cages.

"We CaN pUsH hIm LeFt...!" 

BWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA  

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Sweethearts

I can't pretend I'm not enjoying this. Don't ask me to explain why, but watching the Democrats faceplanting has been a guilty pleasure of mine for some years now.

The Democrats have built a stellar reputation on snatching defeat from the jaws of victory, and this week's impeachment circus didn't disappoint. Caught Trump dead to rights instigating mob violence and an attempted putsch, and the Senate GOP told the Democrats to pound sand as per usual, leaving the Democrats once again stomping their little feet, blustering and whining like Joe Besser. 

Well, I just hope the Dems have finally gotten this shit out of their system. Maybe now that this shitshow is over, they can get to work getting us some decent COVID relief... and maybe some friggin' healthcare...?

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Impeachment II: The Reheated

"We have the unusual circumstance where on the very first day of the trial, when those managers walk on the floor of the Senate, there will already be over 100 witnesses present" 

—Rep. Adam Schiff (D-CA), 02.08.2021

Well, hot damn diggety; nothing fills me with confidence quite like the poetic, sage pronouncements of Mr. Russiagate, himself. Meanwhile, Jamie Raskin is cementing his role as the Tired-Ass Cliché User In-Chief:

"...Donald Trump surrendered his role as commander in chief and became inciter in chief."

This hot mess isn't exactly going to be last night's lasange, that's for goddamn sure — and those of you who love leftover lasagne like I do know what I'm talking about, and I'm the goddamn Leftover Lasagne Lover In-Chief.

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Go Fish

Wow, that two grand sure went away in a hurry, didn't it? I know I'm sure not feeling too grand right now. But, enough of this gay banter.

In a trademark eleventy-dimensional chess move, the Democrats' promised $2000 stimulus checks promptly turned into $1400 shortly after the special runoff election in Georgia. Needless to say, your "progressive" voters — along with the millions about to lose their homes — are not amused. 

Meanwhile, up here on Capitol Hill, shit's gettin' real. We'll be back down to $600 before we know it.

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ZOMG Democracy!

We're hitting a record for COVID-19 deaths, unemployment is sky-high, another wave of evictions is hitting, the fascists are still running wild, the police are still mass-murdering Black people, but yeah — let's impeach Trump — and find some obtuse, other-worldly reason to blame Russia while we're at it, because what the hell. 

Cripes, how the hell does that even work? The guy's been out of office for nearly a week. If the Senate votes to convict, how do they punish him — revoke his Secret Service protection? Sieze his Federal pension? Prohibit him from running for office again? The "spanking machine"?

MSNBC commentators and guests this past week have been blurting out the word "democracy" so often you could play a drinking game; meanwhile QAnon, Patriot Prayer, the Proud Boys and the rest aren't just going to pack it in and go home because Trump's been bounced out of the White House...

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DAnon Shaman

Well, it's about freakin' time. I was starting to wonder when the Democrats and their flunkies in the media were going to get off the dime and start screeching that ZOMG FOREIGN INFLUENCE (a.k.a. Russia, China, Iran) was responsible for the Great Capitol Hill Chud Riot a couple of weeks ago — and I was somehow reminded of this fake shaman who turned out with the QAnon crowd at the Capitol, and that joke about how Russiagate was basically QAnon for Liberals.

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Congratulations, Mr. President

You know the thing... but first, the Democrats are going to take one more crack at impeaching Trump for a cheap-ass little crime which they themselves weren't complicit in, and give themselves a chance to bitch and moan on TV about the Chud Army "impeding democracy" n'shit — because even when they "win", the Democrats are a bunch of cryin' loser bitches.

You know the thing.

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