Every American Understands

 

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“…Even in his brief remarks to reporters Tuesday, Trump made clear that his sole concern in terms of the economy is the financial markets. ‘The most important thing by far — including whether our stock market, which, by the way, is at an all-time high — but including whether our stock market goes up or down a little bit, the most important thing by far is Iran cannot have a nuclear weapon,’ he said, adding, ‘Every American understands’…”

Oh, they understand, alright, ya’ goddamn loser.
They understand that it’s Luigi Time.

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Balloonacy (don't panic!)

JEEEEEEzus christ, man, wotta goddamn shitshow, huh? Not that anyone with two synapses to rub together could tell you that the US boss media were pulling it straight outta their ass, that it wasn’t a “spy balloon” and probably not even Chinese, given the US media’s record over the past 30, 40 years.

Finally, about 2 weeks into this Mel Brooks movie, the Pentagon Amateur Hour crew starts shuffling and backpedaling and stammering like Porky Pig that well, OK, it wasn’t really dangerous and probably not a surveillance balloon after all — and while that’s going on, a bunch of Top Gun wannabes piss away $2m worth of our tax money shooting down what was probably some kid’s science project, likely to get Marjorie Taylor-Greene to shut the hell up. And btw, when a fascist freak like MTG is allowed to sit in Congress and yell for something to be shot down as if it were “Call Of Duty” or something, you know your Rules-Based Order™ is circling the shitter.

So, if you’re thinking that Uncle Joe’s handling of this and other foreign policy batshittery he’s stoking up is looking more and more like a rejected Pinky And The Brain plot — except that P & the B actually had their shit together a little more — join the club, kiddos. Hell, the Chinese were showing more class in their little finger than the US and the West at large, who spent the last 2 weeks filling every pair of BVD’s in the drawer.

Ha haahhhhh, NARF.

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Oh, the balloonity!

My daily accidental random 15 seconds of MSNBC has become more and more hilarious by the day lately, because balloons. The teleprompter readers are absolutely apoplectic about the freakin’ BALLOONS which are supposedly from ZOMG BAD EVIL CHINA. Except now, they prefer to refer to them as “unidentified objects” for some reason likely related to the volume of snickering coming from the general public at the sight of corporate media drones panting, drooling and soaking their panties over the prospect of an F16 shooting down A FREAKIN’ BALLOON.

OK, so we’re shooting down UFO’s now, is that it? I’m guessing they decided to stop mentioning that they’re balloons because people were laughing so goddamn hard they didn’t hear the propaganda and didn’t get as scared as they were supposed to. So, now we’ve got four of ‘em, and the last three were “unidentified”? And are we supposed to be more alarmed about allegedly being surveilled by China than we are about being surveilled for sure by at least half a dozen agencies in our own goddamn country?

Balloons, y’all. Freakin’ BALLOONS. Or, I guess they’re UFO’s now, then.

And, does this mean that China is the source of UFO’s? And so what have we got on ice at Area 51, then — not space alien bodies at all, but just some frozen Chinese guys?

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"White Paper" Revolution

Welp… (siggghhh) another day, another US-cheered and instigated protest “movement” for “freedom” in China, slavishly “reported” by the US boss’ media. Hell, they’ve even got a cute gimmick and a cute nickname to go with it already. The “White Paper” Revolution, the wags are calling it at the State Department, NED, USAID, New York Times, Washington Post, and every goddamn cable news network on Earth, and it’s supposedly all about some Ayn Rand concept of “freedom” from the testing and quarantine requirements of China’s largely successful public health response, which is aimed at getting as close to completely eradicating the virus as they can get — as opposed to the US, which abandoned the population to its own devices to sicken and die of COVID19 to the tune of just over a million people last year.

Freedom, my ass — the freedom of ignorant, Ayn Rand brutalists whose twisted ideas of “bodily autonomy” include no concept whatsogoddamnever of acting conscientiously or making small sacrifices for the public good. It’s the freedom of selfish chuds who want haircuts and ice cream, who want to be “served” no matter what the actual human cost.

This astroturf circus isn’t about freedom, it’s about the likes of Tesla, Intel, Apple and others who are impatient to literally work people to death in China the way they have in the US for the past two years.

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Fortune Cookie

“Those who play with fire will only get burnt... We hope the U.S. side can see this clearly.” — Xi Jinping, to Joe Biden, 07.28.2022

Y'ever get Chinese carry-out and play that stupid game with the fortune cookies where you scribble the phrase "in bed" at the end of the banal faux-Confucian "fortune" in a childish effort to make it sound "dirty" somehow?

Oh, c'mon; I know y'all have done it. I've done it a bunch — and that kind of puerile, low-brow joke seems a fitting analogy to portray the arrogance, hubris, hypocrisy, belligerence, recklessness and straight-up stupidity of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and her Provoke World War III If It's The Last Goddamn Thing I Ever Do Tour this week. It's as if her staff went out of their way to script the most irksome, provocative, sabre-rattling batshit takes they could possibly come up with for her, as if they just followed her around with an mp3 recorder and transcribed everything the old bat queefed out.

The really sad thing about Pelosi, Blinken, Biden and their ilk, though, is that they really, honestly think they're the greatest goddamn thing on two legs. They really do think people are impressed with this horseshit. 

Still, as an American, I have to appreciate the Speaker keeping me briefed in on who "America" is standing with right now. Between standing with Israel, the Uyghurs, the Ukraine, and now Taiwan, it's looking like this "American" is booked pretty solid these days.

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Ode To Joy

Y’know that stupid game you play with fortune cookies in which you read the fortune out loud and add the phrase “in bed” at the end…? Well, that’s apparently the favorite little fun game with the brain-rotted US media with regard to China, especially at the Olympics this past week — find any news of any positive achievement of or any news that reflects well on China, and the US Boss Media will be right on top of it with their shallow bitching and moaning about “human rights”, trot out their victims of the week, fling some over-hyped apocryphal stories around and wail “but at what cost”?

The front page of the Washington Post — where Democracy died long ago and is now beginning to smell really pungent in darkness — put on quite a show this past Saturday, pissing and moaning about the job the Chinese did of keeping covid under control during the Olympics, claiming that it “kept the joy out of the Games” and at “great mental and financial costs”. It was a headline so galling that I had to just kind of stand there in the front hall, slack-jawed, sputtering and giggling as I read and re-read it.

I was almost in awe of it, somehow — a gaggle of hacks from a corporate mouthpiece in the seat of the US Empire, which had twice as many covid-19 deaths last week than China had all of last year, is having a tantrum about China taking the steps any responsible government should do during a public health emergency, filling its pants about how it took the joy out of the Olympics. Myself, I think any “joy” issues our friends here had came more from the shock of being shown up by a Chinese-American who chose to ski for China, and by a government which treats healthcare as a public good rather than a commodity.

Yeah, shame those horrid, awful Chinese commies took appropriate action to mitigate the spread of an infectious pathogen and took a little bit of the “joy” out of it for you — not nearly as awesome as here in the good old USA, where we’re joyful and free and lost nearly a million people to covid19 last year.

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I'm Rubber, You're Glue

If by "dust-up diplomacy" the Washington Post means "insult world leaders to their faces in public and fling around wild accusations based on the fabrications of a right-wing freak who thinks he's on a 'mission from God' against communism", then yeah, sure.

So, while the Post is going all ga-ga over these apeshit shenanigans, I just have to ask why they weren't shitting their pants they way they did when Trump was calling other countries "shitholes".  

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Sorry About The Airport

If the fact that this and the previous "revolution" in Hong Kong have been backed by the National Endowment for Democracy and "Freedom House", and the fact that current "pro-democracy" leaders have been peeped meeting with US Consulate officials, and the fact that the mob in Hong Kong have been spotted waving US flags and singing "Star-Spangled Banner" – not to mention that most of the signs are in English – perhaps the fact that the Hong Kong "revolutionaries" are getting big fat shout-outs from Nikki Haley should convince you that the "revolution" in Hong Kong is a massive, bogus US-backed astroturf show.

The eyes of the world see that the people of Hong Kong are not terrorists. They are freedom fighters. To the people of Hong Kong, we are praying for your safety and believe that democracy is worth fighting for. We hear you and we stand with you! 🇺🇸#FreedomForHongKong https://t.co/Q8JUIPnLQy

— Nikki Haley (@NikkiHaley) August 14, 2019

This past Tuesday, a mob affiliated with the "revolution" in Hong Kong took over the international airport and brought the chaos, confronting police and causing spectacular disruptions in air travel. The real kicker was when the "revolutionaries" spent the next day greeting travelers at the airport wearing symbolic eye bandages in solidarity with an injured comrade, holding signs apologizing for the previous day's havoc. That's right, apologizing. Idiots, why the hell were they there, then? Isn't that the whole point of protest? Hell, that sure was the point of getting upwards of 100,000 people into the streets of Seattle and Washington DC to bring the city to a standstill and disrupt the meetings of the WTO, IMF and World Bank. Disuption was our jam that day, f'crissake; we sure as hell weren't apologizing for anything.

Christ, man, c'mon.

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Umbrella Revolution

Ever notice how the "Occupy Central" protests in Hong Kong are getting so much positive coverage in the US Media? It's no wonder, when you consider how much funding and training their "leaders" have gotten from US State Department front groups like the NED and USAID.

If your revolution has its own color or a cute nickname, then you just might be in a co-opted, stage-managed, NED-funded fake "revolution".

The (NED Financed) Hong Kong Riots, Moon Of Alabama, 09.29.14
On Occupy Central's Ties With The NED, CommonDreams, 10.02.14
US State Dept Funding And Occupy Central, The Ties That Bind, Revolution News 10.01.14

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Based On A True Story

No, really, it is, at least parts of it.

I was on my way downstairs for a sandwich one late morning last week or so, and I passed by the bedroom, where the DW is catching up on some impresario chores on her laptop while the satellite box is nailed down to MSNBC. As aiways, I stop for a minute or two just to check out what they're emitting, and it's some woman who looked as if she were made entirely of plastic babbling an item about Hill leadership's reaction to the discovery that the US Olympic Team's uniforms had been made in China. Faster than you could say "eight percent unemployment", Harry Reid and John Boehner had crapped their drawers loudly while blurting out carefully crafted Tourette's episodes on the subject of the export of US jobs to China. After offering up this news, the anchorbabe said -- for real, I shit you not -- "At last, something that Democrats and Republicans can agree on."

"...along with war, torture, censorship, warrantless surveillance, assassinations, detention without trial..." the anchorbabe neglected to add.

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Who's More Progressive?

This piece was inspired by a blog post by Owen Paine, one of my favorite contributors to one of my favorite Leftie blogs, Stop Me Before I Vote Again. He quotes some interesting passages from President Nixon’s 1971 State Of The Union Address in which he mentions the “expansionary” budget he was about to submit to Congress, a “full employment budget”. Here’s The Tricky One’s own words from back in ‘71:

“By spending as if we were at full employment, we will help to bring about full employment”

Now, mind you, I’ve never been a Nixon revisionist, and I wasn’t one of those bonehead Liberals who spent the entirety of the Dubya Administration wishing they had Nixon back, but, still… full-employment budget? Then, I started thinking back some more… EPA? Detente with the Soviets? Healthcare program compromise with Ted Kennedy? Christalmighty, I thought, was Nixon, on balance, more progressive than Barack Obama?

Yeah, sure, Nixon dragged out a pointless war that hardly anybody wanted, bombed civilians at the drop of a hat, surveilled and harassed dissident activists, and sponsored coups and assassinations all over the world, but hasn’t Obama also done these?

Jeeeeeezus… full-employment budget.

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