Making Life Multiplanetary

“Some may focus on the lows, but behind the efforts of Starship – and other programs like New Glenn, Neutron, Vulcan, Terran, Stoke, etc – is a massive space economy taking shape: tens of thousands of jobs, billions in private investment, all aimed at truly opening the last great frontier.

When these capabilities arrive, they will spearhead a new era of exploration and discovery – and the lows will become a chapter in a much longer story.”

– Jared Isaacman, Trump NASA Administrator Nominee, 05.28.2025

I saw the news of the latest SpaceX Starship explosion with a complete lack of surprise a few days ago, and it had me somehow flashing back to Musk’s performance at that post-Inaugural shindig, and his bluster about putting boots on Mars… and a joyful, iconic moment on the Moon, waaayyyy back when I was an awestruck kid of 15.

"Private Astronaut"

OK, US media – and aerospace-related trade media, I’m especially looking at YOU – it’s time to cut the goddamn crap and quit calling these knobs “private astronauts” and call them what they are: “rich-ass motherfuckers who can afford to have themselves shot into space”, especially this Isaacman clown who could afford to have himself shot into space twice, and on the second flight performed the most useless-ass excuse for an EVA ever. Even Alexei Leonov was out longer, and actually managed to gather significant scientific and engineering data while in the process of getting back into the spacecraft without accidentally killing himself.

But yeah, sure… the standard-issue tech entrepreneur who has near-zero training or experience in aerospace engineering or program management or flying high-performance jet aircraft at all but who made himself a massive pile off a payment processing company he supposedly started as a teenager in his parents’ basement (your standard tech-bro rags-to-riches saga) and so was able to pay to have himself shot into space twice and who is best buds with Elon Musk is, according to the Donster, the ideal choice for NASA Administrator. Yeah, that’s right — the goddamn “private astronaut”.

We’re fucked on Earth, and fucked in space.

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Ve Vill Bury You!

Da, komrade, and then ve are takink kare of Moose and Sqvirrel!

Oh, f’crissake, are they shittin’ us with this mess? Are they really that desperate to take our minds off THE GODDAMN GENOCIDE? “Unspecified dire risk”? Really? Unspecified? BWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAHHHH. Yeah, Russian Space Threat Emerges — straight outta the asses of “U.S. Officials”. D’AAHH HA HA HA HA HA… So, what’s next, guys — the “Missile Gap”?

Dear GOD, they really are reaching now; they couldn’t look any more desperate than they do at this point, serving up this exhumed, warmed-over, hoary-ass old McCarthy Era droolage. Why don’t they just give it the hell up?

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Space Force no.2: Mars Awaits

This was initially inspired by this article on Sputnik International, about the six military bases up for consideration for Space Force headquarters. After some curious digging, I've noticed they've gone from "Mars Awaits" to the slightly more modest "back to the Moon in 5 years". Of course, the goal that's grabbing the attention of millions of us is VP Man From GLAD's consideration of nuclear weapons deployment in space.

Goes without saying Elon Musk is on board with the idea; I'm guessing his long game will involve a need for a few hundred Space Grunts to guard his gated Martian colonies for the rich.

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Proposed US Space Force Logo

As most of you have heard, last week the comedy team of Trump and Pence announced an $8 billion splashdown for a new military branch, the U.S. Space Force -- and are also apparently inviting submissions for the logo design.

So what are they gonna do, fight giant bugs? Actually, I'm thinking the Space Grunts are gonna be guarding Elon Musk's gated Martian colonies for the rich.

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Happy Apollo 11 Anniversary, Everybody!

I don’t know about the rest of you guys, but I still want to be an astronaut when I grow up.

Ask anyone who knows me really well, and they’ll tell you that I’m a huge space geek, and a really huge fan of human expansion off the Earth. Normally, though, spaceflight issues these days aren’t normally big on the mainstream media radar — save the occasional catastrophic Space Shuttle failure — and haven’t been since the last Apollo crew came home. In fact, the last space-related cartoon I did was about nine years ago. Still, once in a great while a cartoon-worthy space policy issue will bubble up into the MSM, such as the current partial privatization/funding brouhaha going on over the late Constellation/Orion program and the future of US manned spaceflight As We Know It™ with regard to President The One’s Vision For Space Exploration. So, while it’s a bit of a geeky issue, I thought this might be a good time to take the opportunity — while I’m still struggling for good immigration cartoon ideas — to knock out this piece that’s been rattling around in my head since I read about the current House version of the NASA appropriation:

So, the crew module that was supposed to be capable of ferrying astronauts to the Moon (the Moon? What’s that?) and to Mars-bound spacecraft has been reduced to an ISS lifeboat, and President The One is talking up that old chestnut, the Public-Private Partnership™, to take up the slack of building and launching cargo and man-rated vehicles to ISS. Needless to say, Elon Musk’s nipples are exploding with delight. Oh, and they’ve also directed NASA to get down to building a heavy-lift booster by the end of the decade. I’d just love to know how the hell they’re going to pull that off when their program is getting be as cash-starved as the xUSSR’s N1 heavy-lift lunar booster program was in the 1960s. Here’s a look at the outcome of one of their many test launches which, to the last, was made of FAIL:

The thing that really irks the hell out of me is that this is just the icing on the cake, after seeing pretty much every other important program — healthcare, housing, education, Social Security — having to go begging because of the stonking huge wads of cash being pissed away on two wars, neither of which is particularly beloved among the public, and the equally stonking amount of cash being blown on building a massive security state. We’ve got no problems throwing away money on Predator drones and bunker busters and upgrading the phone networks to allow easier tapping, but when it suddenly comes time to fund a national healthcare system, or keep Social Security out of trouble, or help humanity expand off the planet, it’s like they’re suddenly all tapped out. But, they’ve always got money to pay for their goddamn’ wars.

But, wait! There’s more! Now, after the Constellation Program’s gone, all that promise out the window, and we’re reduced to buying rides with the Russians and waiting around for half a dozen spaceflight-contract wannabes to get their ducks together, NASA’s added insult to injury by releasing a video game version. Yeah, that’s right, a goddamn’ video game. Mind you, being an artist as well as an old space geek, I certainly loves me some tasty CGI concept art as much as the next guy, but this kind of bugged me somehow, coming as it did so soon after the program meant to replace the Shuttle went from its first test launches to just the latest addition to NASA’s Awesome Concept Art Gallery. I mean, that’s just depressing (besides the fact that they haven’t even developed a Mac version, losers).

What’s really sad, though, is the fact that I still want to be an astronaut when I grow up.

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