They're Under Your Bed

As the 2020 Presidential campaign cycle rumbles to life, let's consider this sage advice from Robby Mook – famous to many as the guy who ran a $1.5 billion Presidential campaign into the ground:

Beware: Russian operatives will try to divide Democrats again in the 2020 primary, making activists unwitting accomplices.


2020 resolution: think before you like or share. It might be foreign propaganda, not "news".

Robby Mook, on Twitter, 12.19.18

...and there you have it – a big, hot sloppy load of Cold War drama queen queefage. Cripes, did he compose this himself, or was it an intern? It's as if he was trying to channel Stan Lee or something. The only thing missing is "evildoers", but Junior Bush pretty much used that one up.

So, the next time some devious stranger tries to attack Beto O'Rourke by bringing up his piss-awful voting record, remember: they might be Russian. And if you pause to consider Beto's entirely non-progressive voting record instead of blindly buying into the hype, then you might be a Russian, too. Mwwoooooaaahhh ha ha ha ha ha haaaahhhhh. Now, ve are takink care of Moose and Squirrel.

11x13 inch medium-res color .jpg image, 903kb

Social Media Shit-Take Quote Template Art

Back again, in the fine new tradition of the Smashed Old TV comes this new Social Media Shit-Take Quote template art. Hold up your favorite social media star's queefage in style. Shown here is a "serving suggestion" on the letter-size screen-resolution template. The typeface here is Gotham family Book and Medium, but any clean, modern sans-serif face will work.

Blank templates:
Letter-size medium-res .jpg image for inkjet/laser printing, 656kb
Letter-size screen resolution .jpg image for Web, blogs, social media, 219kb