It Gets Better

Among my wife’s and my best friends are a gay couple who live near us in our neighborhood. One of the guys was a colleague of my wife’s for several years; before moving here, he was the first openly gay mayor of a town in Iowa. He also recently served as one of the ANC (Advisory Neighborhood Commission) representatives for our ward, and currently holds a management job for the city government. He and his partner have been in a serious, loving, committed relationship as far back as I can remember. They’ve bought a house and renovated it together and have been active contributors to the community. Every year they celebrate the anniversary of the US Constitution by having a really awesome party. Basically, we’re talking about a couple of really cool, hard-working, stand-up guys.

It always bothered me, though, that whenever I’ve been at their annual Constitution Day party for the past few years, their basement has been decorated with some Obama ‘08 lawn signs and other campaign schwag — and I could never figure out why, given that Obama pretty much came right out during the ‘08 campaign and stated his intention to do absolutely nothing to make our friends’ lives any less of a pain in the ass than they already are (and, in fact, he’s been working to make it even more of a pain in the ass). I’ve always been tempted to ask them why they supported Obama given his opposition to same-sex marriage, but as these guys have been good friends of my wife and I for many years, I’ve decided not to cause a big stink, and let it slide. Still, it really burned my toast to think that Barack Obama allowed himself to be portrayed as some big-time progressive, but didn’t want these guys to enjoy the same rights as my wife and I.

So, you can imagine just how steamed I got when I saw Obama contributing a video to the “It Gets Better” series. Hearing him delivering empty platitudes on tolerance and bullying really made me gag as I thought of his opposition to gay marriage — he supports the lame half-measure of “civil unions” — as well as his inviting Rick Warren, the infamous gay-bashing megachurch preacher, to speak at his Inauguration, and his Administration’s lawyers arguing before the Supreme Court in favor of retaining the insulting “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy on gays in the military. Mind you, I think the real problem is dead soldiers, not gay soldiers, but, still, the policy sucks on general principle. In the meantime, President Precious is giving us lame lip service on the bullying of gay, lesbian, bi and transgendered people, while he and his regime engage in bullying of a kind even worse than the physical kind — bullying by the State, in the form of repressive and discriminatory official policies.

Just when you think Obama’s smarmy, empty sentiments can’t be any more infuriating — it gets worse.

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Why Don't You Two Get A Room?

I’ve been watching these two flirting while pretending not to flirt since about 2002. The elephant would watch the donkey all the time, and the donkey would watch back, while they pretended to hate each others’ guts. The donkey would pretend not to give a shit — not speaking to him, not returning his calls, but the whole time she’d look for excuses to be around while the elephant was in the room. It got to be pretty annoying after a while — the donkey would be flirting her ass off, and the whole time saying it was nothing, just a little bipartisanship, all in a spirit of compromise.

It only got worse after 2004 — the donkey practically throwing herself at the elephant, while acting all coy, like she didn’t even care, the elephant behaving like a cold bastard toward her, while anybody with half a brain in their head knew he really wanted to fuck her brains out.

The goddamn’ donkey got even worse around 2008 or so — smarmy coy looks, suggestive touching, soppy goo-goo eyes, all the time insisting there was nothing to it. Finally, about the time of the health care vote, she was all but falling all over the elephant, and it became insufferable. It was all I could do to keep from yelling “for crissakes, why don’t you two just get a room, already?”

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