TrumpGas

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‘They can still see his headless body stalking through the night
In the muzzle flash of Roland’s Thompson gun’
– Warren Zevon, “Roland The Headless Thompson Gunner,” 1978

This old chestnut from my crazed student daze wasn’t really historically apropos to this cartoon, but it was stuck in my head the whole time I was working on it. It was in our Dorm Top Forty in senior year, when I was drawing in the Yipster Times and my buds and I were getting ready to pie the Dean. I couldn’t begin to explain it; the sonofabitch just kinda leaped out of my memory, cranked to 11.

But, let’s just put those old giggles aside for now, and take ourselves a zesty, steamy gawk at the front page of Pravda On The Potomac from last Thursday (as I write this) – or, as I called it, the “Venezuela Special”. JEEEEzus CHRIST, willya LOOK at that goddamn mess. The main head on the front-page lead piece on the Donster’s latest yo-ho-ho’ing looks as if they’re in on the Cheer For Bullying, Piracy And Thievery Without Actually Cheering For Bullying, Piracy And Thievery Challenge – nothing if not the internal agonizing and mental pretzel-twisting of my imperialist Liberal friends’n’fam made publicly visible. They’re actually in favor of something the Donster is doing, and so they’re just going all splungy. So, what’s he gonna do with the goddamn tanker, now – open his own gas-station chain? “TrumpGas”? He’s already started up his own social-media site and plastered his name all over all kinds of shit, why not gas stations? “You can trust your car to the man who…”

…but, enough of that; let’s move on to the featured foto on the left, where the true hilarity ensues – in which The Courageous Venezuelan Opposition Leader* Who Looks Like The Villainess In A Telenovela And Who Begged Trump To Invade Her Country And Who Can’t Come Out Of Hiding To Accept Her Cracker Jack Peace Prize Sends Her Daughter Instead.

*Note that here, as in all cases, the phrase “opposition leader” in the US press is a stand-in for the phrase “USAID, NED and multiple-corporate-backed right-wing US stooge”.

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All I Want For Christmas

 

…history also remembers those who refused resignation. Those who spoke in the cadence of resistance, who dared to describe the world not as the powerful narrated it, but as the oppressed lived it.
–Peter McLaren at Orinoco Tribune, 11.29.2025

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What really amuses me about all this – besides the fact that the Defense Secretary sounds as if he got lost on the way to ComicCon – is that all the imperialist Liberals out there are strangely silent. I mean, c’mon, peeps – isn’t this what you wanted? Wreck and occupy the place and nab all of our oil that Venezuela had under their country? I mean, that has to be the real mission, after watching the Donster pardon some crooked-ass coke-dealing Honduran politician who was said to have claimed he would shove the cocaine up Americans’ noses personally, or some whacked shit.

Perhaps I don’t watch enough MSNBC – oh, sorry, MSNOW – but all the imperialist Liberals in my life have been real, real, real goddamn quiet. I mean, y’all wanted to get rid of that popularly-elected socialist government which has actually been working to give the People what they want and refuses to suck Uncle Sam’s dick – oh, I’m sorry; that corrupt, brutal dictator, huh? They’re always “brutal dictators” with these Liberals …and you just know the People love Maduro when a rank, fashy rag like the New York Times says that he’s “clinging to power”.

Sometimes, I think it might almost be worth the risk of annihilation to watch Amerika get its ass sucked into another quagmire in Latin America against Russia and China. A ringside seat for the collapse of the Empire would be really sweet.

Hooray for Santy Claus.

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