DC Flag Remix: #IntifadaDC

A parody of the Washington DC flag with sandwiches in place of the stripes, in honor of a guy who threw a sub at a CPB agent downtown a few weeks ago, has gone viral and a huge hit with folks in neighborhoods like Capitol Hill. All I could think of, though, was just how toothless and ineffectual my fellow Washingtonians have apparently been in the face of a hostile military occupation; basically, the only response we can muster is to throw sandwiches. No general strikes, student walkouts being proposed or organized anywhere around here? Any disobedience – civil or otherwise – being called around town? Any organizations forming anywhere around here working on plans to make this city ungovernable? Anything at all beyond throwing sandwiches, creating celebratory t-shirt art and posting stupid jokes about it on Facebook? Nope, not seeing anything.

Well, what the hell, then; while I wait for someone to drop an action call who isn’t a freshly minted Democratic Party front – like the “Free DC Project” or those “No Kings” dipshits – here’s something which might be at least a cut or two more provocative than tossing a foot-long for all my “flypasters” out there.

Letter-size “wheatpaster”, 8 x 10 inch high-res color jpg images:
1 of 3: “Intifada DC” | 2 of 3: “Free DC” | 3 of 3: No captions

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Really, Really, Really

Oh, f’crissake, you goddamn fashy tools. You heard the sonofabitch yelling all over the goddamn place about what he was going to do if he got back into office, you heard all the big plans, right…? But you still supported the bastard because THE PRICE OF EGGS…? …like you all were actually totally OK with all the other shit as long as the price of your goddamn carton of eggs came down? C’mon; y’all didn’t actually think he was going to get that price of eggs thing done, did you?

Like the Liberals suddenly running from the Gaza genocide as if it were a house on fire, collaborationist motherfuckers like you aren’t getting away this easy. If you supported Trump, you support “this”.

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"Iron" Dome

Almost as if somebody threw a switch someplace, Western media were suddenly awash in fotos and video of bombed-out buildings and people weeping for lost and missing loved ones and agonizing over the trauma of having to hole up in basements all night in… Tel Aviv.

Yes, that’s right, the capitol of the most reviled nation on Earth, led by a skeezy cabal of psychotic genocidal fascist murderers, trained and funded by an equally skeezy cabal of psychotic genocidal fascist murderers — is begging us to “not remain silent” and stand with Israel as they get some well-deserved payback at last.

All my pals and I are hashtagging this happy fun time #Karmageddon.

Cry me a goddamn river, motherfuckers. Iran’s got yer number.

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Resistencia California

In solidarity with our freedom fighters in the Battle Of Los Angeles.
Time to support OUR troops.

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Making Life Multiplanetary

“Some may focus on the lows, but behind the efforts of Starship – and other programs like New Glenn, Neutron, Vulcan, Terran, Stoke, etc – is a massive space economy taking shape: tens of thousands of jobs, billions in private investment, all aimed at truly opening the last great frontier.

When these capabilities arrive, they will spearhead a new era of exploration and discovery – and the lows will become a chapter in a much longer story.”

– Jared Isaacman, Trump NASA Administrator Nominee, 05.28.2025

I saw the news of the latest SpaceX Starship explosion with a complete lack of surprise a few days ago, and it had me somehow flashing back to Musk’s performance at that post-Inaugural shindig, and his bluster about putting boots on Mars… and a joyful, iconic moment on the Moon, waaayyyy back when I was an awestruck kid of 15.

Donald's Drive-Thru

Though actually quite grim and cringe as hell, I found this news sickeningly funny somehow, in ways reminiscent of the big-ups drum beating Sept 2005 BLS jobs report the month after Hurricane Katrina. Y’think Microsoft was hoping Mickey D’s would pick up some of that layoff headcount?

Then, of course, is the cringingly upbeat economic hard-sell in the Mickey D’s announcement featuring the new Labor Secretary, and the obvious clumsy-ass tap-dancing they’re going to have to do around our new quack-ass Health & Human Services Secretary – especially seeing as Big Mac’s is one of El Presidente’s favorite brands.

You deserve a break today!

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No Coherent Message

Yeah, that’s right — a wannabe Mussolini has just bullied his way into the White House and is terrorizing the country, his Seig-Heiling rocket-powered dildo-building buddy has basically stolen the keys to the Treasury and is getting ready to loot the place, and the Democratic Party… has no coherent message.

No coherent message. Like, not even “fuck you”. Like, they got nothing.
Nothing.

(thanks, Ken Klippenstein)

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Fashionably Fashy

“Not a single Roman work of art — sculpture, coinage, or painting — displays a salute of the kind that is found in Fascism, Nazism, and related ideologies… It is also unknown to Roman literature and is never mentioned by ancient historians of either republican or imperial Rome. The gesture of the raised right arm or hand in Roman and other ancient cultures that is attested in surviving art and literature had a significantly different function and is never identical with the modern straight-arm salute.”
— Martin Winkler, in “The Roman Salute: Cinema, History, Ideology”

…just in case you run into any fashy apologists or Musk symps trying to explain it away by saying it’s a “Roman Salute”.

So just cut the crap already, ‘cos all the wide-open fash are wide-open loving it and — like the original — the Early 21st sequel also features craven-ass collaborators, in the form of the Democratic Party.

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Hair Of The Dog

Yeah, yeah, I know… but the only way to properly express the mood of this piece was to set it in a dark, grim mid-20th dive, with a permanently-circulating ceiling haze and ashtrays you could cave someone’s head in with.

Dude should know by now that that old wives’ cure never works. He’s heading for a king-size Trumpover.

It’s a quarter to three.

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What If He Loses?

For the past month or so, MSNBC has been clutching every available pearl over how Donald Trump and his deformed minions will handle the possibility of losing the “election”. Will they pitch a fit, scream “fraud” and try to lay siege to Capitol Hill to disrupt the electoral vote count and stage a putsch as they did in ‘21?

Personally, I can’t help asking the same question about the Donkeycrats — how will they handle losing to a dude who resembles a villain from an old Columbo episode and whose followers are some of the most intensely stupid beings walking upright on Earth; how will they roll with a well-deserved ass-paddling at the polls after spitting in the faces of every Muslim-American and every American who actually cares about piddling shit like genocide?

Will the Democrats, on facing defeat, do some institutional soul-searching, self-examination and self-evaluation, accept responsibility and get to work on solutions or — as they’ve always done — pitch a fit, scream “fraud”, blame the Left, blame Russia, create a climate of good old-fashioned McCarthyist bullying, fear, suspicion and suppression and try to litigate and investigate their way into power, as they did in ‘17?

Bwah ha ha ha ha ha hah, d’ahh, fuck it, man; who are we kidding?

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Magic Kingdom (or, Hope'N'Joy)

My customary Random 15 Seconds Of MSNBC the other morning featured some nasal-vocal-frying “guest analyst” from some dime-a-dozen downtown think tank babbling to the effect of “…Dick Cheney is changing hearts and minds — great!” while discussing ex-VP Dick Cheney’s announcement that he’s voting for Kamala Harris. Hot damn diggety, talk about a positively ringing endorsement.

Looks like the DNC is totally hitting the goddamn trifecta this time around, too — they’ve got Liz Cheney denouncing Trump, her old man — a known worldwide war criminal — announcing he’s voting for Kay Kay, and they’ve actually FLOATED GEORGE W. BUSH AS A SPEAKER AT THEIR GODDAMN CONVENTION, F'CRISSAKE.

So, am I the only one here who remembers when the DNC thought that Cheney was the walking, talking, living, breathing earthly embodiment of pure evil and that George W. Bush was THE WORST PRESIDENT EVAH? No, really, I mean it, ‘cos I need to make absolutely 110% sure that I didn’t totally fucking hallucinate the past quarter century.

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Doubts In The Donor Class

 

Ever since the last “debate”, I and millions like me are walkin’ on sunshine because finally, at long last, the mask is finally off. After that classic episode of Must-Not-Unsee TV, there’s no getting around the fact that our ruling class is entirely incompetent, that democracy and the “rules-based order” are s sham, and that Amerika and the West have fallen and can’t get up.

MSNBC, CNN and the New York Times are boiling with Liberal panic and denial right now — panic and denial so thick you can smell it through the TV set — and I can’t pretend I’m not enjoying it. Joe Scarborough was priceless; dude was shouting — like, really yelling — about how insanely awesome Joe Biden is, how he could leap tall buildings and has x-ray vision and rescued the economy and is the only thing standing between us and fascism, yelling so loudly that you could hear the echo in the studio; absolutely hilarious. You could almost see the little wisps of cartoon steam coming out of his ears.

In the “weighing how to respond” department, I hear that most rich-ass DNC donors have been upping their day-drinking game when lacking the cajones for suicide.

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Us And Them

“Haven’t you heard? It’s a battle of words!” the poster bearer cried;
“Listen, son,” said the man with the gun, “There’s room for you inside!”
— Pink Floyd, “Us And Them” (1973)

Throughout MSNBC’s nonstop, never-ending, ceaseless, mind-numbing, soul-crushing, forever-grinding-on coverage of Trump’s little bullshit real-estate fraud trial, they pretty much paused only to scream and yell and bitch in befuddlement about how the Donmonster could possibly still be the goddamn GOP front-runner and bitch bitch bitch above the law and whine whine whine rule of law and snarl growl yell democracy is at stake, followed by a pivot to their illustrious GOP primary coverage in which their chirping mutant anchortarts just couldn’t shut the hell up about how Trump and the GOP’s rhetoric is about “us vs. them” and the Democrats are all about “us”.

…and all I could think of in that moment was how thoroughly the Democratic Party groundlessly scapegoated and demonized Russia for their own ineptitude and general suckage in the Easiest Slam-Dunk Election Ever In All Of Recorded Human History Including The Lascaux Cave Paintings, and how just how much of the Democratic Party’s attitude and general M.O. involves demonizing, scapegoating and otherizing — whether it’s people calling out their Russiagate sham, their idiotic policy decisions or their collaboration with fascists, or pretty much anyone on the left calling out their poor record with ethnic minorities, students, the working class, the poor, or pointing out their long-established reputation for warmongering, you can pretty much count on the Democrats to stand on their record, no matter what.

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We Will Return

Still smarting from MSNBC’s thrilling re-enactment of the O.J. Simpson Police Chase on the day of Trump’s arraignment, my daily random 15 seconds of MSNBC the other morning included the morning babblers queefing out the phrases “above the law” and “rule of law” more times than I could count. All I could think of in that moment was Richard Nixon, who committed a metric shit-tonne of crimes against international law and the U.S. Constitution and who avoided an impeachment trial and accountability by resigning; and George W. Bush, a thug with a record as long as his goddamn arm who not only avoided accountability through impeachment and the International Criminal Court, but who also scored a one-man show at the goddamn Kennedy Center.

But naahh; nobody is above the law. Somebody hold me back.

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The Cake Was Not A Lie

Yeah, I know the Florida Legislature Dancing And Cake Story broke nearly 2 weeks ago, but at the time, I was busy finishing the job of “Finishing The Job”.

So, aaaa-aanyway… if the almighty Fact-Checking Industrial Complex is to be believed, the dancing was not at the end of the session, but before they settled down to the business of otherizing, criminalizing, villifying and immiserating a major portion of the whole goddamn state with a legislative horrorshow.

Luckily for me, though, the part of the story that was true was the cake part. According to this big, hot steamy bucket of gloat in the DC Enquirer*, a Florida legislative staffer mocked protesters at the State Capitol at the time by eating cake at their desks in front of them.

So, it seems that just this once, the cake is not a lie.

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*CONTENT WARNING: Yet another fascist rag in DC — as if the Examiner and the Times aren’t enough; article cites Andy Ngo tweets, and some shit-take dropping fascist tool declaring “Make America Florida”. They did, however, get the cake-eating part right.

 

Barbie Anchorbabe presents: The BarbWire

 

Those of you who know me well enough have heard me often joke about my now-customary Daily Accidental Random 15 Seconds Of MSNBC. For the past two weeks or so, it’s been the Donald Trump Indictment Show almost 24/7, to the exclusion of everything else going on in the world — uprising in France, poisoned air and water in Ohio and Indiana, Pentagon leaks exposing Amerika’s ugly naked ass over its action in Ukraine, you name it.

One morning about a week or so back, for the entire 15 seconds it took me to bring in Mrs. F’s coffee and Washington Post to the master bedroom, the babbling anchorbabe creaming her panties over the Trump indictment must’ve burbled the word “democracy” at least a dozen times. Normally, I’d suggest a drinking game, but I wouldn’t want to be responsible for anyone ending up in the ER after trying to throw back a shot every time some talking Barbie doll queefed out the word “democracy” on MSNBC.

The really hysterical thing is that — as per usual in this goddamn town — the Pushing Wing of the Party is more than willing to instigate the arrest and trial of a former guy — uhh, former President who leads the Shoving Wing of the Party, but not for any actual crimes against the People, as the leaders of the Pushing Wing of the Party are entirely complicit and would expose themselves. So, a cheap-ass sex scandal it is — again.

And what especially sucks is that the sonofabitch will never, ever see the inside of a prison cell for any crime ever, because the Democrats need him to run against. Hell, why provide a viable progressive alternative when you can just make up an enemy to jerk the Left back into line, amirite? LBJ never went to trial for any crimes, or Nixon, or Reagan, or Clinton — hell, George W. Bush not only never stood trial for his crimes, he got a goddamn one-man show at the Kennedy Center. Bah, fuck art.

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Happy Putsch-aversary

It may have been a putsch from a Mel Brooks movie, but it was still a goddamn putsch. And what is our so-called “opposition party” doing about it? From the looks of things — much like reproductive rights — the Democrats have absolutely no plans to actually DO ANYTHING about it other than dragging their “investigation” out as long as they can so they can use it to fundraise for the midterms and for ‘24, keep the Liberals in line, and beat down the Left.

And speaking of beatdowns, why the hell aren’t Marjorie Taylor Greene and Matt Gaetz in jail and expelled from Congress? F’crissake, they supported a goddamn fascist putsch. They’re friggin’ collaborators. Hell, Greene even gave a bunch of chuds a full recon tour. Why haven’t the Democrats tried to have them expelled from the House and thrown in the goddamn can instead of “reaching across the aisle” and all that horseshit?

It’s because the Democrats are collaborators, too.

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Miss Kabul

 

Elvis has left the building. At last.

...and as the band was playing him out, the Beltway chattering class was in a mass conniption over all those poor, helpless collaborators we left behind, and our lack of political will, and how, if we could only piss away another trillion or two and tough it out until mid-century, we could lick those mean old Taliban once and for all.

In the days leading up to Elvis' departure from the building, the press was full of screeching and howling about how this wasn't going to be like the evacuation of Saigon, honest it wasn't, seriously, for real — and the louder they howled, the more convinced I was that it would be like the evacuation of Saigon, except even more awesome.

I was 18 when I watched terrified Embassy flunkies being plucked off the roof by the choppers on TV. The draft had officially ended around 1971 or so, but I still had to register. Got a ready-to-burn card and everything. The day Saigon fell, I was about two weeks from graduating high school, and classified 1-H.

Turn out the lights, the party's over...!

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DAnon Shaman

Well, it's about freakin' time. I was starting to wonder when the Democrats and their flunkies in the media were going to get off the dime and start screeching that ZOMG FOREIGN INFLUENCE (a.k.a. Russia, China, Iran) was responsible for the Great Capitol Hill Chud Riot a couple of weeks ago — and I was somehow reminded of this fake shaman who turned out with the QAnon crowd at the Capitol, and that joke about how Russiagate was basically QAnon for Liberals.

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Hands Across The Sea

A quick quiz:
Name the two countries who currently lead the world in COVID-19 deaths.
Name the two countries whose public health services are the most ravaged by budget cuts and privatization.
Name the two countries whose leadership has been the most comically ignorant and incompetent in the face of this crisis.

Give up...?

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