Fortune Cookie

“Those who play with fire will only get burnt... We hope the U.S. side can see this clearly.” — Xi Jinping, to Joe Biden, 07.28.2022

Y'ever get Chinese carry-out and play that stupid game with the fortune cookies where you scribble the phrase "in bed" at the end of the banal faux-Confucian "fortune" in a childish effort to make it sound "dirty" somehow?

Oh, c'mon; I know y'all have done it. I've done it a bunch — and that kind of puerile, low-brow joke seems a fitting analogy to portray the arrogance, hubris, hypocrisy, belligerence, recklessness and straight-up stupidity of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and her Provoke World War III If It's The Last Goddamn Thing I Ever Do Tour this week. It's as if her staff went out of their way to script the most irksome, provocative, sabre-rattling batshit takes they could possibly come up with for her, as if they just followed her around with an mp3 recorder and transcribed everything the old bat queefed out.

The really sad thing about Pelosi, Blinken, Biden and their ilk, though, is that they really, honestly think they're the greatest goddamn thing on two legs. They really do think people are impressed with this horseshit. 

Still, as an American, I have to appreciate the Speaker keeping me briefed in on who "America" is standing with right now. Between standing with Israel, the Uyghurs, the Ukraine, and now Taiwan, it's looking like this "American" is booked pretty solid these days.

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Happy Putsch-aversary

It may have been a putsch from a Mel Brooks movie, but it was still a goddamn putsch. And what is our so-called “opposition party” doing about it? From the looks of things — much like reproductive rights — the Democrats have absolutely no plans to actually DO ANYTHING about it other than dragging their “investigation” out as long as they can so they can use it to fundraise for the midterms and for ‘24, keep the Liberals in line, and beat down the Left.

And speaking of beatdowns, why the hell aren’t Marjorie Taylor Greene and Matt Gaetz in jail and expelled from Congress? F’crissake, they supported a goddamn fascist putsch. They’re friggin’ collaborators. Hell, Greene even gave a bunch of chuds a full recon tour. Why haven’t the Democrats tried to have them expelled from the House and thrown in the goddamn can instead of “reaching across the aisle” and all that horseshit?

It’s because the Democrats are collaborators, too.

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The Old Donkey And The Sea

Basically, Obamacare all over again. The Democrats threw out everything their constituents ever wanted from the “Build Back Better” bipartisan (spit) infrastructure bill in order to please President Manchin and the GOP, and the rest of us got nothing — and the Democrats and their mouthpieces on MSNBC will, of course, yell and scream about how awesome a bill this is until their nipples explode with delight.

Still, y’shoulda seen that whopper before the trip back, before the sharks got hold of it.

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DAnon Shaman

Well, it's about freakin' time. I was starting to wonder when the Democrats and their flunkies in the media were going to get off the dime and start screeching that ZOMG FOREIGN INFLUENCE (a.k.a. Russia, China, Iran) was responsible for the Great Capitol Hill Chud Riot a couple of weeks ago — and I was somehow reminded of this fake shaman who turned out with the QAnon crowd at the Capitol, and that joke about how Russiagate was basically QAnon for Liberals.

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Pelosivirus

I'm going to just come right out and say it: fuck Nancy Pelosi straight to Hell.

People all over the world are getting sick — many dying — from coronavirus, and now that we've got some cases in the US, Capitol Hill is finally getting off its rich, bloated ass and taking a whack at doing something about a response. In classic Pelosi fashion, the House Speaker babbled about making a vaccine "affordable". AFFORDABLE.

Never mind that many Americans may die simply because they can't afford to be tested, let alone vaccinated; the typical response from Queen Nancy is some tepid blathering about making a vaccine "affordable", whatever the hell that's supposed to mean. If the goddamn vaccine is going to be developed with tax money, then it should be free.

Say it with me, kids: fuck "affordable"; make it FREE.

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Important Fish To Fry

First of all, huge thanks to Kate Nocera at Buzzfeed News for tweeting that inspiring quote from the Speaker.

Pelosi to House Dems this morning: "You make me the target, but don’t make our blue dogs and our new dems the target in all of this because we have important fish to fry."

— Kate Nocera (@KateNocera) July 10, 2019

So, now, folks... considering her enabling of fascism, her support for an obscene war budget, her desperate opposition to Medicare For All, and her bitter refusal to hold a criminal Executive to account – a tendency going back to Bush v2.0 – I have to ask myself: who are the "important fish" that Nancy Pelosi and the Democrats are needing to fry?

Oh, yeah, that's right...

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#MeltICE

Schumer never once publicly criticized the Democrats who voted with the GOP to deregulate banks, give Trump more surveillance powers, or confirm a torturer as head of CIA. But this... https://t.co/LUilExPUWM

— Trevor Timm (@trevortimm) June 26, 2018

So, while the ICE has gone full Gestapo -- separating immigrant families, caging their children -- and people are in the streets taking direct action, occupying ICE offices, blocking detainee transfer buses and confronting officials in public, what are the Democrats doing? Well, along with hopping aboard the bandwagon for votes, they're lecturing us about "civility", with Chump Schumer and Nancy Pelosi being the worst of the bunch.

And, as usual, Democrats are waffling and mealy-mouthing, calling for "reforming", "restructuring" and re-imagining the American Gestapo; the most irksome of all has to be Kamala Harris who, after knocking herself out defending ICE, has suddenly started talking about "re-examining" ICE. Sorry, Ms. H., but "re-examining" and "reforming" are not abolishing.

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The Last Donut

So, yesterday, Democratic Party hacks Chump Schumer and Nancy Pelosi proudly unveiled a vague, tepid economic reform package called "A Better Deal". It's kind of adorable, really, the way the Democratic leadership is suddenly discovering the crushing income inequality in the US and, in typical lame-ass Democratic fashion, tries to claw its way back to relevance with Left and progressive voters.

And that slogan -- dear god, how many focus groups did it take to come up with that, anyway? "A Better Deal" -- man, that just inspires the living hell out of me.

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Won't Somebody Think Of The Children?

When Uncle Sam starts waving the bloody dead children around, you know they're scraping the bottom of the barrel when it comes to lame excuses for war. It's a wheeze that goes back to World War I and earlier. It's as if they aren't even trying anymore.

Here's House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi -- a classic craven, crawling Democrat if ever there was one -- with just the kind of lame, basic horseshit that really sticks in my goddamn' craw:

America cannot stand on the sidelines and watch as children suffer. We must act. https://t.co/lbec1D8Yos

— Nancy Pelosi (@NancyPelosi) April 7, 2017

There is no doubt in my mind that America has the relentlessness and tenacity to fight for the world’s children. https://t.co/lbec1D8Yos

— Nancy Pelosi (@NancyPelosi) April 8, 2017

Wisconsin – Look Out Behind You!

So, I was taking a break from being glued to Al Jazeera’s coverage of the revolution in Libya to check out the action in Wisconsin, and found out to my horror that the Democratic Party “leadership” had declared their support for the resurgent workers’ movement there. After two years of ignoring the Left which had helped put him in office, giving us a corporate giveaway thinly disguised as healthcare “reform”, propping up the banks and Wall Street, failing to close the Guantanamo concentration camp, escalating a bloody imperialist war in Afghanistan, insulting us to our faces on TV during the recent mid-term “elections” and appeasing the right, Barack Obummer has finally rediscovered the Left just in time to start pandering to us again in preparation for the 2012 freak circus — after two years of pandering to corporate and banking interests.

This was topped by Smarm Queen and House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi hopping aboard the bandwagon, declaring the Wisconsin workers’ rebellion to be “an extraordinary show of democracy in action” — which, of course, the Democratic Party will make every effort to bleed dry of energy and crush like a grape.

In case you need a reminder of what Queen Nancy is really all about, give a listen to her sucking right-wing cock, in her own words — in 2002, following her election as House Minority Leader during the run-up to Iraq War v2.0, and in 2006, when asked about the impeachment of George W. Bush for his crimes against humanity and the Constitution:

Wisconsin, take a look at the past twenty years of the Democratic Party’s record. Remember NAFTA? Bill Clinton said he opposed it, until he supported it. Remember how the supposedly “liberal” and “progressive” Democrats fought each other to be first in line to support George W. Bush’s wars of genocide and aggression in Afghanistan and Iraq — wars based on lies? Remember how the Democrats rolled over and refused to impeach Bush, despite his having a record of impeachable offenses as long as his goddamn’ arm? Remember how John Kerry opposed the war in Iraq, until he voted to fund it? Remember how Barack Obama supported single-payer healthcare, until he opposed it? Remember last year’s mid-term campaign, when Obama and Biden publicly blew you off and called you “whiners” when you complained about the lame excuse for healthcare “reform” and Obama’s appeasement of Wall Street, the bankers and the Rightists?

Remember the antiglobalization movements? Remember Seattle and A16? This, too, was “an extraordinary show of democracy in action” — until it was co-opted by the Democratic Party and its energy diverted to a wasted effort to elect Plastic Al Gore and Holy Joe Lieberman in 2000. Remember the antiwar movement? They, too, were “an extraordinary show of democracy in action” until they were guilt-tripped into silence by the Democratic Party in their effort to elect first John Kerry in 2004, and then Barack Obama in ‘08. Now, at last, a new movement is rising up for justice for the working class, and once again the Democratic Party is readying itself to suck the life’s blood from that movement to prop up the likes of Pelosi, Reid and Obama. In a struggle like this, the last thing you want is support from the craven, opportunist, corporate cock-gobbling Democratic Party.

Remember this history, Wisconsin, and remember that your real enemy isn’t the Teabaggers getting in your faces at the demonstrations — it’s the Democratic Party, who claims to be “behind” you. For crissakes, Wisconsin — look out behind you.

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At jadaliyya.com: What If The Egyptian Protesters Were Democrats?

Why Don't You Two Get A Room?

I’ve been watching these two flirting while pretending not to flirt since about 2002. The elephant would watch the donkey all the time, and the donkey would watch back, while they pretended to hate each others’ guts. The donkey would pretend not to give a shit — not speaking to him, not returning his calls, but the whole time she’d look for excuses to be around while the elephant was in the room. It got to be pretty annoying after a while — the donkey would be flirting her ass off, and the whole time saying it was nothing, just a little bipartisanship, all in a spirit of compromise.

It only got worse after 2004 — the donkey practically throwing herself at the elephant, while acting all coy, like she didn’t even care, the elephant behaving like a cold bastard toward her, while anybody with half a brain in their head knew he really wanted to fuck her brains out.

The goddamn’ donkey got even worse around 2008 or so — smarmy coy looks, suggestive touching, soppy goo-goo eyes, all the time insisting there was nothing to it. Finally, about the time of the health care vote, she was all but falling all over the elephant, and it became insufferable. It was all I could do to keep from yelling “for crissakes, why don’t you two just get a room, already?”

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It's Going To Be a New Day...

Well, fan-damn tastic! The Armani Democrats are in the house! Let's find out what new, exciting changes we'll see on these major issues...
I'll never forget seeing Nancy Pelosi on Meet The Press back in May; after mentioning that the impeachment of President Chimp is "off the table" -- despite having a record of impeachable offenses as long as his arm -- she then goes on to say that when the Democrats get a majority in Congress in November, "it's going to be a new day"... a statement almost as cringeworthy as her appearance on the NBC Today Show in November of '02, after her election as House Minority Leader, where she declares the Democratic leadership "stands shoulder-to-shoulder with President Bush" in the rush to war in Iraq.

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