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Trump taps the brakes…? “Taps the brakes”? JEEzus, they’re really breaking the Goofy Meter over at the Washington Times these days.
F’crissake, that bloated-ass smashmouth sonofabitch probably hasn’t done his own driving for a single day of his goddamn life.
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Starring in order of appearance: Some Harvard Economics dweeb, author of “Some Crap You Bought To Read On The Plane”; some wild-ass up-all-night, Monster Energy-guzzling, stock-market playing Wall Street geek, author of “Some Crap You Bought To Read On The Plane”; and some shallow, glitzed-up ex-Chamber Of Commerce honcho who’s now the executive director of some big-ass retailers’ association, author of “Some Crap You Bought To Read On The Plane”.
Inspired by a lively, witty exchange between some pals on Bluesky a couple of weeks ago, riffing on business media pundit shartage.
(At this point, has there ever been a panelist or Guest Contributing Analyst on The Network Formerly Known As MSNBC who hasn’t been pushing a book on the air lately?)
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Yeah, that’s right — a wannabe Mussolini has just bullied his way into the White House and is terrorizing the country, his Seig-Heiling rocket-powered dildo-building buddy has basically stolen the keys to the Treasury and is getting ready to loot the place, and the Democratic Party… has no coherent message.
No coherent message. Like, not even “fuck you”. Like, they got nothing.
Nothing.
(thanks, Ken Klippenstein)
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I was peeping the news from L.A. along with Kathleen Wallace’s recent Substack column about Boss Media hand-wringing over the fate of film and TV stars whose homes were lost in the fires which got my brain sizzling, but the final inspiration was overhearing some smarmy, plaintive woman’s voice on MSNBC talking about people whose homes and neighborhoods lay in smoking ashes, burning schools and playgrounds, people who’d lost everything and had to evacuate with nothing but what they could shove into a bag, living in their cars, living in tents — and it sounded for all the world as if she were describing Gaza, except she was talking about goddamned L.A. …and I thought of News Nation, CNN, the L.A. Times and Associated Press clutching their pearls and moaning OH, WON’T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE STARS…?
Y’mean, the Hollywood stars who pimp and symp for Israel and Zionism, who gladly, gleefully support the incineration and destruction of neighborhoods like theirs on the other side of the Earth by the Chosen People™? Y’mean, those stars?
Hooray for Gazawood!
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MSNBC has gone into full-on Panic Mode, peak Pay No Attention To The Man Behind The Curtain Mode, completely off-scale He’s Not Dead, He’s Just Resting Mode — and I’m love, love, loving it.
I loved watching the Chair of the Congressional Black Caucus blustering that Biden Is The Nominee, Dammit, He’s Playing 10-Dimensional Chess, Has X-Ray Vision And Is Just Pining For The Fjords in a desperate attempt to convince us — or mostly himself — that Genocide Joe really can see around corners, and I loved a recently-rehabbed post-MeToo Chris Matthews in fine voice, literally shouting at the viewers that Uncle Joe can slice’n'dice Trump with one hand tied behind his back and is just stunned right now, and he doesn’t want any shit about it.
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Ever since the last “debate”, I and millions like me are walkin’ on sunshine because finally, at long last, the mask is finally off. After that classic episode of Must-Not-Unsee TV, there’s no getting around the fact that our ruling class is entirely incompetent, that democracy and the “rules-based order” are s sham, and that Amerika and the West have fallen and can’t get up.
MSNBC, CNN and the New York Times are boiling with Liberal panic and denial right now — panic and denial so thick you can smell it through the TV set — and I can’t pretend I’m not enjoying it. Joe Scarborough was priceless; dude was shouting — like, really yelling — about how insanely awesome Joe Biden is, how he could leap tall buildings and has x-ray vision and rescued the economy and is the only thing standing between us and fascism, yelling so loudly that you could hear the echo in the studio; absolutely hilarious. You could almost see the little wisps of cartoon steam coming out of his ears.
In the “weighing how to respond” department, I hear that most rich-ass DNC donors have been upping their day-drinking game when lacking the cajones for suicide.
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So, like any halfway-decent vile-ass racist early-stage war hysteria, the mouth-frothing claims of rape and baby-killing always get the most mileage — as always, all the way back to the goddamn Lusitania.
You can imagine my total lack of anything resembling surprise, of course, when the claims turned out to be total bullshit served up by some IDF lackey who’d already been involved in some skanky-ass shit in the settlements.
So, finally, the CNN “journalist” responsible issues a public apology — for being caught lying on the air, AGAIN… but not after the likes of Gropey Joe Biden, the New York Post, MSNBC, Fox News, Rupert Murdoch’s rags, and everybody and their goddamn uncle have blasted it all over the goddamn world — and in the same fashion that US and Western media have always lied to promote their wars, whether it’s the Tonkin Gulf, Kuwaiti Incubator Babies, Weapons Of Mass Destruction, Yellowcake Uranium, Russiagate, the Mariupol Theatre Bombing, the Uyghur Muslims, and now this horseshit.
Oh, and of course, our gal at CNN was “misled” — always, always, they’ve been “misled”, like the Representatives and Senators who jumped aboard the Iraq War bandwagon back about 20 years ago, and had themselves a big ol’ party, thinking they had an easy win until all their shit went sideways on ‘em, and suddenly they were cryin’ in the media about how they were “misled”. They knew it was a metric shit-tonne of lies and bought into it anyway — then got their asses busted, and suddenly they were “misled”, the cryin’-ass losers.
But, sure, I’M the one who’s spreading “disinformation”.
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