Garbage, no. 2 (...garbage out)

So, that was the “October Surprise” this time around, huh? That was really it? Old Uncle Joe, movin’ kinda’ slow, suddenly decides to pipe up about some of Trump’s throwaway trash talk and immediately shits out a Basket Of Deplorables moment, right out on live TV in front of god and his cat and everybody, less than a week before the “election”? Well done. Even if MSNBC immediately changed its format to All Abortion Rights Horror Stories All The Time, it probably still wouldn’t be enough to save the DNC’s asses.

Just trying to imagine the scene around the DNC campaign offices right now… imagining Uncle Joe, still and quiet for all these weeks — they really thought they had him buried this time — suddenly clambering clumsily out of the grave like Tor Johnson in Plan 9 From Outer Space to drop a big, hot steaming Gaffe From The Beyond.

Mind you, I’m not arguing with the truth of El Presidente’s blabbage about Trump supporters being garbage, here; that’s as maybe — but, still, when you’re a sitting President of the United Snakes Of Amerika who’s had to drop out of a re-election campaign after your brain fried out on live national TV, and who’s proudly facilitating and defending the brutal, venal crimes of two of the most garbage human beings walking the Earth at the moment, and whose actions in the past year have at last fully revealed American/Western traditions and institutions to be complete garbage… you might want keep a lid on that name-calling shit.

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It's A Miracle!

It's a Sunday morning as I write this, and I can't stop imagining Liberals all over Amerika seeing Genocide Joe's grinning mug on slices of burnt toast and considering it a clear sign that he should stay in the race — when what it actually means, of course...  

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Ex-Parrot

MSNBC has gone into full-on Panic Mode, peak Pay No Attention To The Man Behind The Curtain Mode, completely off-scale He’s Not Dead, He’s Just Resting Mode — and I’m love, love, loving it.

I loved watching the Chair of the Congressional Black Caucus blustering that Biden Is The Nominee, Dammit, He’s Playing 10-Dimensional Chess, Has X-Ray Vision And Is Just Pining For The Fjords in a desperate attempt to convince us — or mostly himself — that Genocide Joe really can see around corners, and I loved a recently-rehabbed post-MeToo Chris Matthews in fine voice, literally shouting at the viewers that Uncle Joe can slice’n'dice Trump with one hand tied behind his back and is just stunned right now, and he doesn’t want any shit about it.

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Doubts In The Donor Class

 

Ever since the last “debate”, I and millions like me are walkin’ on sunshine because finally, at long last, the mask is finally off. After that classic episode of Must-Not-Unsee TV, there’s no getting around the fact that our ruling class is entirely incompetent, that democracy and the “rules-based order” are s sham, and that Amerika and the West have fallen and can’t get up.

MSNBC, CNN and the New York Times are boiling with Liberal panic and denial right now — panic and denial so thick you can smell it through the TV set — and I can’t pretend I’m not enjoying it. Joe Scarborough was priceless; dude was shouting — like, really yelling — about how insanely awesome Joe Biden is, how he could leap tall buildings and has x-ray vision and rescued the economy and is the only thing standing between us and fascism, yelling so loudly that you could hear the echo in the studio; absolutely hilarious. You could almost see the little wisps of cartoon steam coming out of his ears.

In the “weighing how to respond” department, I hear that most rich-ass DNC donors have been upping their day-drinking game when lacking the cajones for suicide.

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Dear U.S. Left: Stop Asking Me To Vote

Dear US Left:
With all due respect — I really do love ya, we’ve worked together and hit the barricades and been ride-or-die n’all that, but — you’ve just gotta stop this shit right now, y’all, ‘cos it’s the biggest waste of time ever at this point. Seriously, for myself and all of our comrades, I’m here to tell you, you just gotta STOP IT, brah.

Stop asking us to VOTE.

Stop asking us to play in a crooked rigged casino, to participate in a phony “democracy” and vote in a useless “election” in which the candidates and platforms are already decided by the Party and the permissible issues and voices already decided by the media. Stop asking us to drag ourselves off to participate in an empty ritual in an empty institution which has achieved absolute zero.

Stop insulting our intelligence by asking us to participate in the “democracy” of a nation in which the State, the Party and Establishment institutions have at long last finally, thoroughly, utterly and completely alienated us and then relentlessly implores us to participate in their useless, capitalist media-controlled “democratic” institutions. After doing their level best to beat down and silence the dissent and outrage of billions across the nation and the Earth, they’ve got the spectacular gall to try to shame, frighten, and browbeat us into slinking back to their polls for “abortion rights” — for affluent, professional-class American women, of course; not the reproductive rights of working-class and poor women, nor immigrant women, nor Afghan or Iraqi women, and for goddamn sure not the reproductive rights of PALESTINIAN women…

 

Happy Goddamn New Year

“REGRET From Military”, it says here.
That’s right — REGRET for “unintended harm”.

Oh, for Christ’s sake, why do these goddamn thugs even bother? Who do they think they’re kidding? Do they think that after nearly 3 months of genocidal brutality, fascistic bullying, threats and media lies, Genocide Joe’s little buddy actually expects us to believe that they REGRET this goddamn horror show?

The threat of the Bad Old Rethuglicans taking over stopped scaring me nearly 30 years ago, and right now it scares me even less, if such a thing is possible. Four more years of Trump? Big goddamn deal; we’ve ALREADY been through 4 more years of Trump, so I could give the slightest molecule of a rat’s ass who “wins” your goddamn “election” next year. For all I care, the Democrats can get their asses shredded so goddamn bad that they have to be identified via dental records. At this point, I don't care so much about defeating Trump as I do about defeating America.

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Rules-Based Order

To think that all the arduous years I spent assiduously avoiding dropping a “fallen and can’t get up” gag could be undone by this single column at The Cradle last week. If Amerika’s imperial batshittery in Ukraine hasn’t totally wrecked our rep with the rest of the Earth, than our enabling Israeli butchery in Palestine pretty much ripped our mask the rest of the way off.

We’ve fallen, and we can’t get up.

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"No Comment..."

So, to recap: Apparently due to power utility malfeasance, wildfires break out on the island of Maui, State of Hawaii. Many Hawaiians die and are still dying, from all reports. Catching up with President Gropey Joe in Drunken College Dipshit Central — aka Rehoboth, Delaware — reporters asked El Presidente about the Maui situation, to which he replied “no comment” and clambered on into his Presidential Escalade.

It may be unlikely to guess the final death toll in Maui, but it’ll be easy enough to guess the total death count from the $200m in refills for their fancy truck-mounted rocket launchers to keep up their ongoing, Ukrainian meat-grinding “Duck Soup” Offensive.

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Balloonacy (don't panic!)

JEEEEEEzus christ, man, wotta goddamn shitshow, huh? Not that anyone with two synapses to rub together could tell you that the US boss media were pulling it straight outta their ass, that it wasn’t a “spy balloon” and probably not even Chinese, given the US media’s record over the past 30, 40 years.

Finally, about 2 weeks into this Mel Brooks movie, the Pentagon Amateur Hour crew starts shuffling and backpedaling and stammering like Porky Pig that well, OK, it wasn’t really dangerous and probably not a surveillance balloon after all — and while that’s going on, a bunch of Top Gun wannabes piss away $2m worth of our tax money shooting down what was probably some kid’s science project, likely to get Marjorie Taylor-Greene to shut the hell up. And btw, when a fascist freak like MTG is allowed to sit in Congress and yell for something to be shot down as if it were “Call Of Duty” or something, you know your Rules-Based Order™ is circling the shitter.

So, if you’re thinking that Uncle Joe’s handling of this and other foreign policy batshittery he’s stoking up is looking more and more like a rejected Pinky And The Brain plot — except that P & the B actually had their shit together a little more — join the club, kiddos. Hell, the Chinese were showing more class in their little finger than the US and the West at large, who spent the last 2 weeks filling every pair of BVD’s in the drawer.

Ha haahhhhh, NARF.

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2023 and Me

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