O, Kanada (or, Hunka Hunka Burnin' Fascism)

Between the unanimous standing O’s in the Canadian Parliament for former Waffen SS thug Yaroslav Hunka, Trudeau’s weak-ass mea culpas and their tippety-top general still refusing to apologize for applauding the sonofabitch and doubling down on the “fuck you”, I gotta say — I can’t pretend I’m not enjoying this. The vaunted Western World showed us its whole entire pasty, pimply, naked ass that day, and if you still #StandWithUkraine after THIS, then I don’t know what else to say to you indoctrinated losers.

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Heard Ya' Missed Me, So I'm Back!

Yep, I heard Americans were kinda missing being in quarantine and out of work with no safety net; friends, family and neighbors getting sick and dying, science denialists going apeshit, government and media blaming China for everything, so here I am — back again, Amerika, right when you’re trying to stir up a world war and inflation’n'austerity are crushing the shit out of you, and your influence is cratering and you’ve just been made a global fool of and you’re cruising for comeuppance, yeah — heard ya’ missed me, so I’m back to fvck your shit up, Amerika.

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"No Comment..."

So, to recap: Apparently due to power utility malfeasance, wildfires break out on the island of Maui, State of Hawaii. Many Hawaiians die and are still dying, from all reports. Catching up with President Gropey Joe in Drunken College Dipshit Central — aka Rehoboth, Delaware — reporters asked El Presidente about the Maui situation, to which he replied “no comment” and clambered on into his Presidential Escalade.

It may be unlikely to guess the final death toll in Maui, but it’ll be easy enough to guess the total death count from the $200m in refills for their fancy truck-mounted rocket launchers to keep up their ongoing, Ukrainian meat-grinding “Duck Soup” Offensive.

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EU Flag, Revised

A recent report by Rania Khalek at Breakthrough News got me inspired to find out just how much each of the tanks cost which were smeared by Russia in Zelensky’s recent “Duck Soup” Offensive — and subsequently redesign the European Union flag.

Whooaaa… that much, huh? So, just how much of the value of your average European’s labor was stolen from them to build a bunch of these bad boys to arm up gangs of Nazi hillbillies? How much more of their healthcare and other social programs will they be giving up in order to #StandWithUkraine?

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A Strong Primary Challenge

Well, kiddies, for those of you following the little Democracy™ game, it’s no secret that DNC voters are about as enthusiastic over Joe Biden next year as they’d be over having to eat glass. So, for all those desperate Dems who can’t seem to bust out of the electoral prison, the idea of a primary challenge sounds made of awesome.

So, who do they get — a fresh, bold progressive insurgent in the Bernie Sanders mold? Nahh, hell no, man — they get a xenophobic antivax Kennedy spawn and a bougie self-help guru who’s the “spiritual adviser” to Oprah. OPRAH, f’crissake. Hell, man, if that’s not a prime qualification for the White House, I’d like to know what is.

Hello, Second Trump Administration.

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Thanks For Covering Our Debt — Suckers!

And so, yet another Debt Ceiling Wrestlemania comes to a close — and as predicted, the ruling class gets the payoff, Zelensky gets new toys, and we get austerity.

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Finishing The Job

It is with anxiety, chagrin and dread that I present this, my first cartoon of the 2024 Presidential “election” slog…

…and despite the massive disappointment and lack of enthusiasm of huge swaths of Democratic voters, Gropin’ Joe announced his re-election campaign kickoff with a promise to “finish the job”… at which point yours truly, like millions of others, is cringing and asking themselves: what job would THAT be — immiserating the poor and the working class? Terrorizing immigrants and bullying our next-door neighbors? Fattening up the war profiteers and Wall Street? Beating down anti-war dissent in public media? Dragging us into World War III?

Lotta big jobs to finish there, Joester; guess you’re going to need four more years to thoroughly screw things up, huh?

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Apropos Of Nothing (Cliff? What Cliff? no.2)

Apropos of entirely nothing, really… just stumped for a gag, smoking and doodling at an ungodly hour the other night, vaguely inspired by this alarmist headline in the Washington Post, though this cartoon was not at all intentionally related to the whole debt ceiling pissing contest on the Hill this week… and while I’m at it — is it a cliff, or the ceiling? Quit jerking us around, Washington Post.

I also fully confess to an equally boneheaded literal interpretation of the whole beat-ass “cliff” metaphor. Hell, I’m old enough to remember the FIRST time around with that “cliff” horseshit.

…and besides, if you really take a good, close, hot steamy gawk at Biden’s real priorities — and the current attitude of the American general public towards more unemployment, inflation, war and austerity — you couldn’t exactly say we were “drifting”.

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the Vasectomy Kid

 

“In 2020, U.S. Congress imposed secondary sanctions on banks that processed transactions related to the Nord Stream 1 and 2 pipelines and on ship insurers that serviced them.

When construction of Nord Stream 2 was finished in 2021, Washington imposed new sanctions on insurance and certification companies to keep it from opening.

Finally, both pipelines were sabotaged in an undersea explosion in September 2022.

As a result, the industries that had made Germany preeminent in Europe, such as steel, chemicals, machinery, and automotives, are suffering from high energy costs and the loss of Russia’s aluminum, titanium, and palladium.

As a consequence, one in four German companies is considering moving production to other countries, amid the energy crisis…”

— Renate Bridenthal at the Geopolitical Economy Report, 01.10.2023

 

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Little Twee Library

I don't know about your city, but here in the tonier 'hoods of DC, the Little Free Libraries are a big thing. Sounds really sweet and noble and grassrootsy mutual-aidy n'shit until you get a load of what's actually in the goddamn things. It's basically the kind of instantly-obsolete stuff you used to see stacked on the sidewalk in front of the fence in front of the house with a little post-it note reading "FREE" — old college textbooks, trendy disposable political tomes, pseudo-academic shartage by "public intellectuals", cute trendy late '00s millennial YA novels, trendy child-rearing stuff, trendy self-helpy shit, people unloading all the John Grisham and James Patterson novels they bought to read on the plane... Sure as hell didn't see anyone giving away their copies of On The Road or To Have And Have Not or Sirens Of Titan or Ché Guevara's Motorcycle Diaries or anything, y'know...?

Opening Bell

“…freedom has many manifestations but the most important for many is the ability to work for your benefit, for the benefit of your children and the want of your country. Ukraine is a story of a future victory and a chance for you to invest now in projects worth hundreds of billions of dollars to share the victory of us… This will be your victory and a new success story for your companies.”
—Volodymyr Zelensky, President of Ukraine, 09.06.2022

I’ve seen some pretty goddamn unctous fotos in the news in my time, but none quite as revulsive lately as this tableau featuring US stooge and Neo-Nazi Volodymyr Zelensky “virtually” ringing the opening bell via remote video link at the New York Stock Exchange — and none quite as apropos, given that shares in US “defense” industries are hitting the stratosphere, and Ford and IBM’s infamous collaboration with the Nazis.

As reported at Grayzone and Multipolarista, Zelensky’s economic “victory” is being won through the abolition of labor protection in a program not unlike that instituted by Pinochet in Chile in the 1970s, combined with some of that good old-fashioned globalized IMF/WorldBank “shock treatment”. Ukraine is “open for business”, the sonofabitch says — I don’t know about you, but when I hear one of these bastards talk about how his country is “open for business”, it’s time to look the hell OUT.

This crass stunt — along with Zelensky’s suppression of Left opposition parties and his repeated foto ops with Nazis — would actually indicate that this is pretty much par for the course on Wall Street, which never met a war (or a fascist) it didn’t like.

“We are pleased to welcome President Zelensky virtually to the NYSE bell podium, a symbol of the freedom and opportunity our U.S. capital markets have enabled around the globe. We are honored the President has chosen the NYSE to mark the kickoff of Advantage Ukraine and engage with the world’s business community.”
—Lynn Martin, president, NYSE Group, 09.06.2022

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>Swastika version | >Azov version

That's Right, Kiddies! It's PUTIN'S...

Gropin' Joe has made it abundantly clear at the AFL-CIO convention a week or so back that he plans to beat that "Putin's Price Hike" horse until it's either dead or people actually start believing that horseshit. We promised Gorbachev we wouldn't expand NATO, then promptly spent the better part of the 1990s expanding NATO to Russia's front stoop and fomenting pro-US regime-change "color revolutions", but yeah, sure, Joe — it's Putin's war. Sonofabitch plans on distracting us from his horrid performance and our wartime austerity pain by blaming Putin for everything but the Mariners dragging ass in the AL West.

So — you heard it here first, kiddies. Supreme Court just stripped your reproductive rights? Putin made 'em do it. That asshole boss at Starbuck's who just canned you for union organizing? Putin did it. Those pals of yours who promised to help move that sofa last Saturday flaked on you? Putin. That raging hottie you've been dating for the past 2 months just put you in the Friend Zone? Yeah, that's right, my dude — fucking Putin. 

Dude's been one busy motherfucker lately, gotta give credit where it's due.

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"What is HIMARS?" An Infographic

"What is HIMARS?" asked an Al Jazeera "Explainer" feature about a week or so back, and it actually got me seriously wondering... what IS the High-Mobility Artillery Rocket System? I mean, like — what exactly the hell goes into this beast? Didn't take much searching and reading to reach the answer fairly quickly — our COVID relief, our universal healthcare, our minimum wage raise, our student debt cancellation, our eviction moratorium... 

 ...and with that in mind, to clear up all the brouhaha about these death factories we're selling to the Nazi-infested Ukrainian state, I offer this meticulous infographic, precisely labeled, detailing the features of this helping hand we're extending to all those feisty little old Ukrainian ladies hunkered down in their basements, mixing up the Molotovs and learning how to handle an AK.

Night Of The Living #StandWithUkraine

While y'all were hanging your Ukrainian flags out in front of your houses and putting little Ukrainian flags in your Facebook profile fotos and screaming about the dirty Rooskies and chewing rags over those poor little old Ukrainian ladies mixing Molotovs in their basements, this is what happened to your unemployment benefits extension and your rent relief and your eviction moratorium and your Covid "stimulus" and your healthcare.

Inspired by the top two stories in the Washington Post of May 20, above the fold like a shot and a chaser: we're pissing your healthcare away on a NATO/US proxy war in the Ukraine, and forget about baby formula anytime soon. Love that reference to "firm public support" in the Ukraine Care Package story. Bwah hah, "public support"... what do you mean "we", white man?

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