ICE Unmasked!

“I was in Austria during the War. I am not programmed to respond in that area.”
— US Rep. Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY) to Chris Hayes, 07.15.2025

If candy-assed, non-committal hemming’n’hawing were an Olympic event — if namby-pamby mealy-mouthing around were an NCAA Division I sport — New York Rep. Hakeem “AIPAC Shakur” Jeffries would be a multiple gold medalist, AND in the top brackets for the Final Four.

Donald's Drive-Thru

Though actually quite grim and cringe as hell, I found this news sickeningly funny somehow, in ways reminiscent of the big-ups drum beating Sept 2005 BLS jobs report the month after Hurricane Katrina. Y’think Microsoft was hoping Mickey D’s would pick up some of that layoff headcount?

Then, of course, is the cringingly upbeat economic hard-sell in the Mickey D’s announcement featuring the new Labor Secretary, and the obvious clumsy-ass tap-dancing they’re going to have to do around our new quack-ass Health & Human Services Secretary – especially seeing as Big Mac’s is one of El Presidente’s favorite brands.

You deserve a break today!

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GOP + DNC = ZFG

If you’re a Liberal or Progressive who, at this point, is still furiously bitching about why the Democrats won’t “do something” about all this, then you’re as stupid as you look.

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It's Always Sunny At The DNC

If there were a sure sign that the Donkeycrats are pants-shitting panicked at the prospect of traditionally-Leftish/progressivish voters abandoning their worthless asses en masse at the polls over the genocide in Palestine, it’s the fact that the likes of MSNBC and the Washington Post just can’t stop the tubthumping over the economy and the “consumer confidence” polls just out this week.

Never mind the piss-poor public health response to COVID19, or the historic re-enactment of the fall of Saigon in 2021, or the piss-poor disaster response in Maui last year, or the metric fuckton of cash flushed down the shitter for a bunch of Ukrainian Nazi hillbillies, the wide-open support of fascistic ethnic cleansing in Palestine, the continued attempted instigation of world war — nahh, screw that shit; the consumer confidence numbers are in and the economy is rockin’, so let’s turn that frown upside down, ya’ fusty proles.

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Blast From Yer Past, Aug 2004: "Decision 2004"

While I continue getting over surgery and tryna' get back into a drawing groove, n'shit... let's flash back to another war that Liberals of both parties lied, blustered and bullied their asses off to drag us into... originally did this for an immediate post-election protest response in DC; it got blasted all over, but I never actually did a blog post, except for this sloppy-ass blurb on my old static html site... so, here it is. Let's climb aboard the TARDIS, kiddies, and set the dial for the turn of the century: 

---------------

After one too many mornings of watching Kerry and Bush piss-fighting over Kerry's war record, I was begging, desperately: Somebody, Anybody – STOP THE TORTURE of American Voters!

So, I wake up one early morning recently; as usual, my wife's already awake and has NBC's "Today" jabbering on the TV. In the thinning fog of my fading REM state I hear candidate John "Lurch" Kerry being interviewed, and he's telling us how he plans to continue to uphold the corporate/military agenda, after which a Bush campaign ad denounces Lurch for being "too leftist". I think: jeezus, it's too damn' early for this shit. Lurch says he'll keep doing what the Chimp started, and the Chimp accuses Lurch of being too leftist, it's only 7:15am, and my brain is already hurting.

Somebody, stop this torture. Somebody make it stop. Somebody, make...it...sto-oopppppp!  

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In Case Of Bernie...

Looks like Bernie Sanders is on a roll already, building up steam heading into the Nevada Caucuses, and that can only mean one thing – it's time to drag out Russiagate again, and like our heroic "first responders" the US media are right on top of things, trying to put out the fire.

What really bugs me about this, though — and along with running as a Democrat, it made Sanders a non-starter for me — is how Sanders, despite all the centrist galaxy brains accusing him of being a Russian stooge, has actually been riding the Krazy Train almost since the beginning.

Really, Berners — is this your goddamn hero, the guy who's going to lead your asses out of the desert? A guy who buys into the empty Russiagate hype, lets himself be rolled and Red-baited, and then bends the knee to a bunch of McCarthyists? Really?

Christ, you guys are going to get so goddamn screwed again — screwed blue and tattooed — and I, for one, am out of sympathy for you.

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DNC 2020: The Whine of the Century

Here's one for all you "Blue No Matter Who" Kool-Aid guzzlers, in honor of our esteemed ex-Vice President. It's appalling, but it's not as if we hadn't already figured it out. At last the sons of bitches finally just came right out with it.

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BREAKING: DNC 2020 Campaign Art Leaked!

Just going to leave this here...

I love how all these "white, privileged, straight…" #StillWithHer Liberals are claiming that until Cinnamon Hitler is out of office, they're each and every kind of oppressed minority.

That is… until the cops show up. Or they need to speak to the manager.

— Robert D. Skeels, JD 🎋 🇵🇸🔻 (@rdsathene) June 7, 2018

On pondering the "I'd like to speak to the manager" mindset popular among Liberals these days. Seems to be your basic Liberal style of activism, about as radical as they get -- when they aren't busy calling the cops on kids for running a lemonade stand without a permit or something.

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2017: We Don't Need No Water

Here it is, the whole kaboodle, the whole shitshow, the whole kahuna, a big hot sloppy bucket of 2017 In Cartoons.

• Dinnertime For Democrats, January
• Peak Liberal, February
• In Solidarity With Eaten Fish, March
• Won't Somebody Think Of The Children, April
• Nobody Expects The Russia Investigation, May
• Tinfoil Hatter, June
• Mother Of All Bombs, July
• Google Censorship: 100% "Toxic", August
• Houston, We Have A Problem, September
• Outlaw Democracy, October
• The Latest Russiagate "Smoking Gun", November
• The Most Busted Name In News, December

...and throw the dumpster fire metaphor in there while you're at it.

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Put A Fork In 'Em

So, despite a strong progressive groundswell for Keith Ellison, Clinton flunkie Tom Perez has been elected Chairman of the Democratic Party (as if it really matters), and he won the way you always win in the Democrats -- by kissing Wall Street's ass, sucking Israel's cock, and taking a big, steaming dump all over the Left.

This was inspired by a recently-tweeted nugget of gold from the John Podesta email leak trove, a snotty little fart by Perez in reply to one of the Hillary campaign honcho's missives.

New DNC Chair Tom Perez wanted to "put a fork" into @BernieSanders' Latino support -- for Hillary Clinton https://t.co/yvTK0iVrL9 pic.twitter.com/Vrs22QJSXm

— WikiLeaks (@wikileaks) February 26, 2017

So, how'd that "stick a fork in him" thing work out for you guys?

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#DNCleaks

At last report, there is absolute zero evidence that the Russians had squat to do with the recent Wikileaks dump of Democratic National Committee emails detailing the program of fraud and sabotage against the Sanders campaign. Still, that hasn't stopped all manner of Liberal Democratic mouthpieces like MSNBC shrieking at full throat about how "the Russians did it".

Actually, I think it's too bad that the Russians didn't do it, because ma-aan, would that have been some poetic justice.

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That Old '08 Magic

Ever since the beginning of the current Presidential "election" campaign cycle -- lo, those many eons ago -- the media have been buzzing about the problems the Democrats are facing keeping their supporters energized the way they were in 2008. Endless hours of airtime are packed with hack pundits and party mouthpieces scratching their heads and pretending to have no idea what the problem is when, actually, it's so goddamn' obvious that you just want to reach into your TV set and smack the shit out of those people.

Thankfully -- and, somehow, sadly -- The Onion is providing the most accurate reporting on the Democrats' 2012 campaign. Check it out. You'll laugh, you'll cry.

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