Access Excess

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I can’t even begin to pretend to care about the Donster kicking MSNOW (the artist formerly known as MSNBC) and CNN (aka ZNN) out of the White House. The anchor dollies at MSNOW can’t seem to shut the hell up about how their voices are being stifled and how the First Amendment is being threatened by the denial of access to the Donster’s daily raving’n’drooling press conferences consisting of demented propaganda babbling and not much else, and their inability to dutifully record said raving’n’drooling to parrot back at the addled masses… or, as it’s known in the USA, “journalism”.

Yeah, y’sure heard that right; the people who gave us Kuwaiti Incubator Babies, Iraqi WMDs, Iraqi Yellow Cake Uranium, the Uyghur Muslims and Russiagate – and have spent the last three years beating down public dissent against the Gaza genocide – are screaming and yelling about free speech ‘cos they can’t get a spot at the Donster’s White House media circle-jerk. You’ll pardon my giving sub-zero fucks about any of those kiss-asses.

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What If He Loses?

For the past month or so, MSNBC has been clutching every available pearl over how Donald Trump and his deformed minions will handle the possibility of losing the “election”. Will they pitch a fit, scream “fraud” and try to lay siege to Capitol Hill to disrupt the electoral vote count and stage a putsch as they did in ‘21?

Personally, I can’t help asking the same question about the Donkeycrats — how will they handle losing to a dude who resembles a villain from an old Columbo episode and whose followers are some of the most intensely stupid beings walking upright on Earth; how will they roll with a well-deserved ass-paddling at the polls after spitting in the faces of every Muslim-American and every American who actually cares about piddling shit like genocide?

Will the Democrats, on facing defeat, do some institutional soul-searching, self-examination and self-evaluation, accept responsibility and get to work on solutions or — as they’ve always done — pitch a fit, scream “fraud”, blame the Left, blame Russia, create a climate of good old-fashioned McCarthyist bullying, fear, suspicion and suppression and try to litigate and investigate their way into power, as they did in ‘17?

Bwah ha ha ha ha ha hah, d’ahh, fuck it, man; who are we kidding?

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Barbie Anchorbabe Reports: Democracy In Ruins

Compared to the raving, drooling, mean-girl frenzy that was MSNBC’s “reporting” on the Days Of Our Trump Trial, their “coverage” of the guilty verdict brought down on iconic Presidential failson Hunter Biden on Federal gun charges was… well, let’s say it was reserved… reserved, taciturn, crestfallen — somber, even. Seriously, to watch MSNBC’s morning blatherers the day after the verdict, you’d think the sonofabitch had just died — and, with it, Democracy™ itself.

Makes sense, really; he gets it from his old man, who’s also a stupid-ass gun freak.

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Barbie Anchorbabe presents: The BarbWire

 

Those of you who know me well enough have heard me often joke about my now-customary Daily Accidental Random 15 Seconds Of MSNBC. For the past two weeks or so, it’s been the Donald Trump Indictment Show almost 24/7, to the exclusion of everything else going on in the world — uprising in France, poisoned air and water in Ohio and Indiana, Pentagon leaks exposing Amerika’s ugly naked ass over its action in Ukraine, you name it.

One morning about a week or so back, for the entire 15 seconds it took me to bring in Mrs. F’s coffee and Washington Post to the master bedroom, the babbling anchorbabe creaming her panties over the Trump indictment must’ve burbled the word “democracy” at least a dozen times. Normally, I’d suggest a drinking game, but I wouldn’t want to be responsible for anyone ending up in the ER after trying to throw back a shot every time some talking Barbie doll queefed out the word “democracy” on MSNBC.

The really hysterical thing is that — as per usual in this goddamn town — the Pushing Wing of the Party is more than willing to instigate the arrest and trial of a former guy — uhh, former President who leads the Shoving Wing of the Party, but not for any actual crimes against the People, as the leaders of the Pushing Wing of the Party are entirely complicit and would expose themselves. So, a cheap-ass sex scandal it is — again.

And what especially sucks is that the sonofabitch will never, ever see the inside of a prison cell for any crime ever, because the Democrats need him to run against. Hell, why provide a viable progressive alternative when you can just make up an enemy to jerk the Left back into line, amirite? LBJ never went to trial for any crimes, or Nixon, or Reagan, or Clinton — hell, George W. Bush not only never stood trial for his crimes, he got a goddamn one-man show at the Kennedy Center. Bah, fuck art.

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TV Talking Head Quote/Meme Template Art

Fresh off the drawing board, a new quote/meme template for all those favorite TV news talkers' hot shit takes on Twitter and elsewhere. Included here is a "serving suggestion" on the letter-size screen-resolution meme/quote template. The typeface here is Gotham family Book and Medium, but any clean, modern sans-serif face will work.

Aside from the quality of the journalism, another thing I hate about TV these days is the total lack of satisfaction you get from snatching your set off the table and pitching it through the window into the street. Those old CRT sets with the big-ass tube and the transformer in 'em had some real mass, and required a major revolutionary commitment to pick that sucker up and heave it.

Blank templates:
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Chris Christie Festival

It's time once again for the latest headlines of the day on MSNBC... and here with the headlines is Barbie Anchorbabe...

It's not as if there hasn't been a metric shit-ton of important news happening in the past week or so. You've got the Mexican "autodefensas" battling the drug cartels, the Fullerton, California cops who beat and tasered a homeless man to death, Obama's worthless tap-dancing NSA speech -- but probably the biggest story of the week has to be the massive chemical spill in Elk River, West Virginia, which left 300,000 people in nine counties without fresh water.

Of course, you wouldn't know that from watching the Democratic Party noise machine in action at MSNBC, which has spent almost all of its available air time this week on the trumped-up "Bridgegate" scandal in New Jersey involving Governor Chris Christie, who's also considered a major hopeful for the 2016 GOP Presidential nomination. Coincidence? Naaahhhh.

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Noise Channels

News channels? Noise channels, more like.

Cast your memory back, for a moment, to the Bush Years -- oh, sure you can, c'mon. Fox News was cheerleading for war and a burgeoning police state, calling dissenters "traitors", yelling for every dissident's and whistleblower's head on a plate, and spewing GOP talking points all over us. MSNBC, in the meantime, was hollering for an end to imperialist wars, the protection of civil liberties, and all that other speaking-truth-to-power horseshit.

Fast-forward to the Obama Years. Fox News is suddenly hollering about dissent and civil liberties and Obama's adventurism overseas. MSNBC, in the meantime, is cheerleading for war, softpedaling Obama's use of drones to murder civilians, calling dissenters "traitors", yelling for every dissident's and whistleblower's head on a plate, and spewing Democratic Party talking points all over us.

Anybody detecting a pattern here?

These three sticker designs depict the real reason for being of both of these hypocritical partisan "news" channels. The MSDNC logo may be something new to most of you, but why the Fox News parody logo, you might ask? Granted, everybody and their cat may have figured out that Fox News was a GOP mouthpiece from day one, but I thought it might be a good idea to include it, because Fair And Balanced.

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Wall Of Oligarchy

Ever notice what a pain in the ass it is for dissident/third parties to get any media attention? They hardly ever get any media because it’s damn’ near impossible to get onto the ballot. They can’t get onto the ballot because it’s damn’ near impossible to raise any money. They can’t raise any money because it’s damn’ near impossible to get any media… well, I think you can see where this is headed.

Only The Party is able to raise the gobsmacking amounts of cash needed to get its views into the media, which means that Party propaganda and talking points are all over the TV like a bad rash. Third parties, independent and dissident candidates are pretty much locked out because the tepid liberal and raving rightist freak wings of The Party collude to rig the rules so that they’re the only ones who get to participate in the televised debates — which takes us back to what a pain in the ass it is for dissident/third parties to get any media attention.

This is the first in a series of posters being created for the March Against Corruption, an international day of action — inspired by the uprisings in Brazil — being planned for November 2. Find out more about the March Against Corruption on Farcebook.

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Decision 2008

So, I wake up early one morning recently; as usual, my wife's already awake and has MSNBC's "Morning Joe" babbling on the TV. In the thinning fog of my fading Rapid Eye Movement state I hear Barack Obama telling us how he plans to continue upholding the corporate/military agenda, after which I can just make out some unhinged rightist nutcake denouncing John McCain for being too Liberal. A gaggle of pundits ranging from tepid centrist to shrieking fascist have a bitching, shouting argument over who'll do the best job of bombing and torturing for the next four years. One pundit calls McCain a closet Liberal, another calls Obama a Socialist, and I think: jeezus, it's too goddamn' early for this shit. It's only 7am, and my brain is already hurting.

Then, I realize that this has been going on for over a year and will continue until November, and I think, "oh, Jeezus, no. Please. Somebody, stop this goddamn' torture. Somebody make it stop. Somebody, anybody -- make...it...STOP...!"

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