"Would Whoever Can Reach The Phone..."

For those of you not of a certain age, a popular college fad in the 1950s was telephone booth stuffing. In fact, there were often competitions between colleges to see just how many students could cram themselves in. Oh, yeah, and you might also want to ask your parents or a great uncle what a telephone booth was.

Which brings us to the state of play in the current GOP Presidential nomination battle royale... I can't wait to see what the first debates are going to be like. I won't bother watching unless they make 'em do it in a big steel cage, with Mean Gene Okerlund as the moderator.

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And, here's some more rock 'em, sock 'em election action:
"Cromnibus Island", December 2014
"Yer Liberals, no. 2: Make Him Do It", November 2012
"Middle Class First", October 2012
"Blankness You Can Believe In", April 2012
"My Little Party", February 2012

Was George W. Bush Really That Bad?

So we know President Bush the man. And what President Clinton said is absolutely true — to know the man is to like the man, because he’s comfortable in his own skin. He knows who he is. He doesn’t put on any pretenses. He takes his job seriously, but he doesn’t take himself too seriously. He is a good man.
--Barack Obama, speaking at the dedication of the George W. Bush Presidential Library, 04.25.13

The dedication of the George W. Bush Presidential Library this week gave the US media a chance to engage in one of its current favorite pastimes: rehabilitating the public images of thoroughly loathsome and reprehensible public figures. They’d hardly had time to catch their breath after canonizing Margaret Thatcher before it was time for their toughest challenge ever — rehabilitating George W. “The Decider” Bush. Yeah, that’s right, it’s Shark Jumping Time.

Y’know the worst thing about this wretched speech, though? He’s paraphrasing Bill Clinton, f’cripesake. Between this and the Thatcher veneration and Chelsea Clinton interviewing the GEICO Gecko, I’d say this pretty much indicates the death of the US media.

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For your further entertainment, here’s a couple of classic op-ed stinkburgers from the Washington Post from this past week. Feel their sliminess wash over you.

“George W. Bush, A Principled President”, Michael Gerson, Op-Ed Scribbler; author, Heroic Conservatism, The Washington Post, 04.25.13

“George W. Bush Is A Victim Of A Rush To Judgement”, Stephen Knott, Professor, U.S. Naval War College, The Washington Post, 04.25.13

Based On A True Story

No, really, it is, at least parts of it.

I was on my way downstairs for a sandwich one late morning last week or so, and I passed by the bedroom, where the DW is catching up on some impresario chores on her laptop while the satellite box is nailed down to MSNBC. As aiways, I stop for a minute or two just to check out what they're emitting, and it's some woman who looked as if she were made entirely of plastic babbling an item about Hill leadership's reaction to the discovery that the US Olympic Team's uniforms had been made in China. Faster than you could say "eight percent unemployment", Harry Reid and John Boehner had crapped their drawers loudly while blurting out carefully crafted Tourette's episodes on the subject of the export of US jobs to China. After offering up this news, the anchorbabe said -- for real, I shit you not -- "At last, something that Democrats and Republicans can agree on."

"...along with war, torture, censorship, warrantless surveillance, assassinations, detention without trial..." the anchorbabe neglected to add.

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It's Always the GOP's Fault

Interesting how, whenever you look at the news, it’s the Democratic Party that’s bitching the loudest about the influence of big money in politics — even as Barack Obama’s latest re-election fundraising efforts set all-time records, with $86 million raised in the second quarter of this year alone. In fact, Obama’s campaign manager, Jim Messina, reports that the Obamabots are “back, they’re energized” — although his Wall Street masters don’t seem quite as energized as last time. They’re apparently still feeling all butthurt from Obama calling them “fat cats”.

Word has it that the Obama campaign could end up raising at least a billion dollars before the campaign is over. That’s right, ONE BILLION DOLLARS. Who the hell ever thought that one day someone would spend a billion dollars to have himself elected President? No wonder hardly anybody bothers to vote in this country anymore.

ONE BILLION GODDAMN’ DOLLARS. Jesus Christ.

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Special thanks to my Twitter comrade @KenBias for suggesting this gag line in a tweet he posted the other day.

Are You In?

You’ve got to hand it to Obummer, his timing’s impeccable. On the anniversary of the assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King — and one day before capitulating to the Rightists and allowing military commission trials of Guantanamo detainees — Obummer rolls out his 2012 re-election campaign, complete with a smarmy, grassrootsy video, and asks, “Are You In?”

“Are You In?” Jeezus, what the hell kind of slogan is that? It sounds like the wrapup for a venture capital pitch, like a question asked by some newly-minted Stanford MBA trying to schmooze a few million for his crappy-assed Internet start-up.

The “official” unemployment rate is nailed at around 10%, the foreclosure rate is climbing, bankers are getting fatter than ever, Bush’s tax cuts for the rich are still in place, the healthcare system is still in the hands of corporations, we’re up to our asses in three wars, the concentration camp at Guantanamo Bay is still open, our civil liberties are in worse shape than ever, Obummer’s just rolled over for John Boehner on the budget deal — and now Obummer’s got the sheer gall to ask me if I’m “in”.

Like hell I’m “in”. Take a goddamn’ hike, piker.

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