TrumpGas

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‘They can still see his headless body stalking through the night
In the muzzle flash of Roland’s Thompson gun’
– Warren Zevon, “Roland The Headless Thompson Gunner,” 1978

This old chestnut from my crazed student daze wasn’t really historically apropos to this cartoon, but it was stuck in my head the whole time I was working on it. It was in our Dorm Top Forty in senior year, when I was drawing in the Yipster Times and my buds and I were getting ready to pie the Dean. I couldn’t begin to explain it; the sonofabitch just kinda leaped out of my memory, cranked to 11.

But, let’s just put those old giggles aside for now, and take ourselves a zesty, steamy gawk at the front page of Pravda On The Potomac from last Thursday (as I write this) – or, as I called it, the “Venezuela Special”. JEEEEzus CHRIST, willya LOOK at that goddamn mess. The main head on the front-page lead piece on the Donster’s latest yo-ho-ho’ing looks as if they’re in on the Cheer For Bullying, Piracy And Thievery Without Actually Cheering For Bullying, Piracy And Thievery Challenge – nothing if not the internal agonizing and mental pretzel-twisting of my imperialist Liberal friends’n’fam made publicly visible. They’re actually in favor of something the Donster is doing, and so they’re just going all splungy. So, what’s he gonna do with the goddamn tanker, now – open his own gas-station chain? “TrumpGas”? He’s already started up his own social-media site and plastered his name all over all kinds of shit, why not gas stations? “You can trust your car to the man who…”

…but, enough of that; let’s move on to the featured foto on the left, where the true hilarity ensues – in which The Courageous Venezuelan Opposition Leader* Who Looks Like The Villainess In A Telenovela And Who Begged Trump To Invade Her Country And Who Can’t Come Out Of Hiding To Accept Her Cracker Jack Peace Prize Sends Her Daughter Instead.

*Note that here, as in all cases, the phrase “opposition leader” in the US press is a stand-in for the phrase “USAID, NED and multiple-corporate-backed right-wing US stooge”.

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All I Want For Christmas

 

…history also remembers those who refused resignation. Those who spoke in the cadence of resistance, who dared to describe the world not as the powerful narrated it, but as the oppressed lived it.
–Peter McLaren at Orinoco Tribune, 11.29.2025

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What really amuses me about all this – besides the fact that the Defense Secretary sounds as if he got lost on the way to ComicCon – is that all the imperialist Liberals out there are strangely silent. I mean, c’mon, peeps – isn’t this what you wanted? Wreck and occupy the place and nab all of our oil that Venezuela had under their country? I mean, that has to be the real mission, after watching the Donster pardon some crooked-ass coke-dealing Honduran politician who was said to have claimed he would shove the cocaine up Americans’ noses personally, or some whacked shit.

Perhaps I don’t watch enough MSNBC – oh, sorry, MSNOW – but all the imperialist Liberals in my life have been real, real, real goddamn quiet. I mean, y’all wanted to get rid of that popularly-elected socialist government which has actually been working to give the People what they want and refuses to suck Uncle Sam’s dick – oh, I’m sorry; that corrupt, brutal dictator, huh? They’re always “brutal dictators” with these Liberals …and you just know the People love Maduro when a rank, fashy rag like the New York Times says that he’s “clinging to power”.

Sometimes, I think it might almost be worth the risk of annihilation to watch Amerika get its ass sucked into another quagmire in Latin America against Russia and China. A ringside seat for the collapse of the Empire would be really sweet.

Hooray for Santy Claus.

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Defending the Embassy, Defending Liberty

A new low was reached this week when, at the direction of the US Secret Service, Potomac Electric Power Company cut off the electricity to the Venezuelan Embassy in Washington DC, in an effort to force out members of Code Pink and other organizations there – at the invitation of the staff – defending the Embassy against a siege by thuggish supporters of the attempted putsch by US-backed fascist failson Juan "Guido" Guaidò.

This is in addition to ongoing attempts to prevent the delivery of food to the Embassy, ironically mirroring the economic warfare being waged against the people of Venezuela by the US Empire.

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#VenezuelaLibre

"Hello, Mom...? It's Juan. Can you come pick me up from coup practice?"
–Juan Guaido, "Interim President" of Venezuela, 04.30.19

I can't pretend I didn't enjoy watching the massive faceplant that was "Operation Liberty", the latest attempt to topple Chavismo and install Washington darling and fascist enabler Juan "Guido" Guaido in Venezuela.

It was pure comedy gold, watching Guido's handlers in Washington stepping on their own cranks trying to spin the events in Caracas this past week, and Guido's flunkies seeking refuge in the Brazilian and Chilean embassies in order to continue their "provisional" shenanagans. It was like watching a coup attempt staged by Mel Brooks.

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...and how would you like this done?

So... in Venezuela, Juan Guaido, a rightist "opposition" leader who'd never actually run in the recent Presidential election, just out of nowhere declares himself "Interim President" and swears himself in, and the US is apparently ready to support this doorknob in a coup attempt against Nicolas Maduro, a Bolivarist who actually ran for President, won the election, and was actually sworn in as the actual President this past week.

Just so we're clear on that, folks, next time CNN or somebody drops another "bombshell" about the Russians "meddling" in our "elections".

Speaking of which, why the hell didn't Hillary think of this? Why didn't she just swear herself in? Cripes, she wouldn't quit screaming about how she won the goddamn popular vote; why couldn't she rustle up Lawrence Lessig or Laurence Tribe or one of those other Harvard Law knobs to administer the oath and just swear her own insufferable ass in?

Emoluments, 25th Amendment, Russia, bah! Have Ruth Bader Ginsburg swear her in on a copy of In Takes A Village, get Macron, May, and a couple of other EU neoliberal Blue Meanies to recognize her, and badda-bing, El Presidente.

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