Damn! Why didn't they think of this before?
Late last week, after a tedious morning of futile job-searching, I took a break to hit the news and found this excellent little piece by Al Schumann at Stop Me Before I Vote Again, one of my favorite lefty blogs, in which he proposed a solution to the BP Deepwater Horizon blowout in the Gulf Of Mexico which left a mental image that I just couldn’t un-see.
For nearly a month, BP attempted “solutions” which were just PR exercises designed to do little more than make the spill less visible from airplanes and satellites, keep the media from being flooded with images of fouled beaches, oil-soaked birds and dead fish, and make it looked as if BP actually gave a damn. Meanwhile, our Glorious Leader, Booker T. Obama, got the George W. Bush Katrina Tour of the affected areas — though he did manage to keep it classy by not telling the Minerals Management Service that they were doing a “heckuva job” — while Interior Secretary Salazar was busy enforcing an offshore drilling moratorium that wasn’t.
Meanwhile, the mental image provided by Schumann’s blog entry continued to eat into my brain. It sounded like a better and better idea the more I thought about it. Why not round up all the people responsible for the disaster in the Gulf Of Mexico, and use their bodies to plug the leak? Let’s see who we’ve got, here:
First, of course, our Exalted Boy Emperor, Booker T. Obama, a leading recipient of campaign contributions from BP, not to mention the entirety of the oil and nuclear industries. Then, of course, the Board Of Directors of BP, for caring more about profits and PR than about actual responsibility for environmental disaster and cleaning up after itself. After that, we’ve got our environmentalist nonprofit organizations, outfits like the Nature Conservancy and the Environmental Defense Fund, who entered into “partnerships” — or, to be more accurate, took payoffs — in the form of large donations from BP. Then, let’s not forget you — that’s right, you, the people who clog the highways in fat-assed SUVs, sedans and station wagons on your daily commutes, traveling one to a vehicle, while remaining silent about the American Empire’s wars of aggression in the Middle East in search of more oil. Didn’t think I’d let you off the hook, did you?
Now, that’s what I call “Top Kill”!
