Greetings From Haiti!

Y'know, I hardly know where to start with this. Perhaps I could start with this gob-smacking foto of ex-Presidents Bubba and Chimp, both smiling their most smarmy and smug smiles as they accept the position of Special Envoys in charge of the Haitian relief effort. That's right, ex-President I Invaded Haiti In The '90s and ex-President Heckuva Job Brownie have been placed in charge of Haitian earthquake relief, and the bastards are frickin' smiling... and President Timberlake, there, seems just barely able to contain himself as well. What perfect cover for a little bit of that "vulture capitalism".



Or, perhaps this amazingly soulless, brutalist David Brooks column from the New York Times might work for you. In it, he calls for the throwing away of any tolerance or respect for foreign cultures and calls for "intrusive paternalism" at least half a dozen times in a page and a half of thinly-veiled racist spewage. In spirit and letter, it's really no different from any similar racist spewage about Haiti and the Dominican Republic published in the New York Times a century or so ago; Noam Chomsky writes in Year 501:

Times editors lauded the "unselfish and helpful" attitude that the US had always shown, now once again as it responded "in a fatherly way" as Haiti "sought help here." Our "unselfish intervention has been moved almost exclusively by a desire to give the benefits of peace to people tormented by repeated revolutions," with no thought of "preferential advantages, commercial or otherwise," for ourselves. "The people of the island should realize that [the US government] is their best friend." The US sought only to ensure that "the people were cured of the habit of insurrection and taught how to work and live"; they "would have to be reformed, guided and educated," and this "duty was undertaken by the United States." There is a further benefit for our "black brother": "To wean these peoples away from their shot-gun habit of government is to safeguard them against our own exasperation," which might lead to further intervention. "The good-will and unselfish purposes of our own government" are demonstrated by the consequences, the editors wrote in 1922, when they were all too apparent and the Marine atrocities had already aroused a storm of protest.

However, if comic relief is what you're after, don't despair; former US Senator John "Senator Goodhair" Edwards is going to Haiti to help out, also -- with cameras conveniently present, of course.

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Hail to the Thieves!

Throughout the campaign, the Repuglicans slang mud, made up outrageous claims based on words pulled from random context (Al Gore saying "I invented the Internet"), and made the most absurd threats they could think of to suppress minority turnout. The Donkeycrats, meanwhile, were busy bullying, belittling and threatening Nader/Green supporters and the rest of the Left for not supporting their craven, gutless asses, and threatening them with guilt for bringing down the bloody boot heel of GOP tyranny on all of us for voting Green ("a vote for Nader is a vote for Bush").



Finally, as we all know, it came down to the good and saintly Donkeycrats against the mean old nasty Repuglicans in a close one in Florida -- as some wags like to say, "close enough to steal". The mean old nasty Repuglicans were doing things like busing in gangs of college brownshirts -- these Brownshirts wore crisp white shirts and nice ties and khaki pants, though -- to harass election-office workers and disrupt the recount; the good and saintly Donkeycrats, meanwhile, not wanting to reveal their years of complicity in profiling and other racist Drug War policies that created thousands of young black felons -- and, subsequently, thousands of young black non-voters -- were reduced to mealy-mouthed lawyerly tap-dancing about hanging chads, pregnant chads, the intent of the voter, and all sorts of other banal "meaning of is" bullshit.

In the middle of all the pissing contests in the media and in the streets in front of the Supreme Court building, there was still the Counter-Inaugural mobilizations to be planned and organized and, of course, the poster to be designed and made street-ready by the middle of December. Considering the behavior of the two major parties throughout the campaign, and especially during the Florida recount circus, the whole theater playing out in front of me started to look less like a political dispute between two election campaigns and more like a gang war, like in a Quentin Tarantino film, like Reservoir Dogs or something. The suspicion, jealousy and paranoia had gotten to be too much, and the two hoods who pulled off the caper were turning on each other.

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Let the People Into the Debates

Ah, Y2K... a simpler, happier time. Nothing important having to do with computers or networks crashed, failed, collapsed, imploded or fell over. We still didn't have our flying cars yet, but we were still wired to the teeth on the solidarity high from A16. Of course, we didn't have a whole lot of time to bitch about not having our flying cars yet, as it was fast approaching time to decide how we were going to organize around the Presidential "Election" circus, and the attendant party conventions. This being DC, we spent a lot of time spotlighting Statehood organizing and the "debates".



Every Presidential "election" year, the Commission On Presidential Debates, a totally bipartisan outfit, convenes to decide, in an entirely bipartisan fashion, how to prevent anybody other than Republicans and Democrats from appearing in the nationally televised "debates". This, of course, was also the first year in many that the Democrats were facing any kind of serious challenge from the Left -- and by "the Left", I don't mean "candy-assed phony 'Pwogwessives' who vote Democratic, mail checks to NPR and read Mother Jones while they're taking a dump"; by that, I mean the goddamned Left, from the outside, in the form of Ralph Nader and the Green Party USA, who actually were close to polling numbers high enough to qualify for Federal matching funds and automatic ballot access in the next "election" year. Needless to say, most of the Democratic Party's most vigorous campaigning wasn't against the GOP, but against the Left -- basically, against its own base -- for daring to decide they had a choice, and that they didn't need the Democrats' permission to take action, and to call the Democratic leadership to account for their abandonment of core values, its failure to defend working people and, basically, being such a worthless, no-account, dive-artist outfit while still attempting to put up a shabby, weak, Liberal/Progressive facade. It was the year the Democratic Party finally revealed what it was really all about by doing everything it could to keep off the ballot and out of the "debates" a party whose platform would've been raised proudly by the Democratic Party themselves in, say, the early '70s.

This poster advertised a series of protests held in downtown DC, at the headquarters of the Commission on Presidential Debates, calling out the Democrats for their hypocrisy and cowardice, and calling out the CPD for rigging the rules in favor of rich, well-connected establishment politicians, and for allowing corporate influence in the form of Anheuser-Busch's sponsorship of the telecasts. This was also the year where you couldn't turn on your TV set without at least once seeing that goddamn' "Whazzuuuuuuup!" commercial at least ten times. Still, it was silly enough to hold my attention for more than ten seconds, and my friends and I were already using it as a form of ironic, absurdist greeting, so when I let my mind wander a bit and started riffing on the whole Presidential Debate/Whazzuuuuuup idea, it didn't take long to start asking myself what influence Anheuser-Busch's sponsorship will take. Would they be allowed to hang their logo onstage, like those old quiz shows from the '50s? Would A-B be allowed final say on the questions...and have us reduced to an hour a night for three nights of Gush and Bore standing there going "Whazzuuuuuuuup?" This, while not the most likely, proved to be the more entertaining vision.

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"A16" Series

Oh, that old Spirit Of Seattle. Turtles'n'Teamsters everywhere.

But, seriously, folks... the mood and solidarity between different parts of The Movement -- folks like old-line unionists and environmentalists discovering common goals and realizing they were fighting the same fight against the same enemy -- were palpably electric and invigorating in the months following Seattle, and none quite like the personally charged feeling I got when, just a couple of weeks afterwards, I saw the mobilization action call posted in alt.activism for the April IMF/World Bank Meetings in Washington, DC, for April 16, 2000 -- the now-legendary "A16". At last, no more watching for little shreds of TV coverage, of scouring another city's IMC postings -- the revolution circus was coming to my town, and I was going to actually be in it, and photographing and taping it, and telling the story of that week for everybody else out there... and, the wheatpasting. Oh, yeah, the wheatpasting was going to go big-time (during the run-up to A16, the posse and I were followed around the streets awhile by an NBC crew one night after giving a class in wheatpaste-mixing and postering to a bunch of student activists at George Washington University).

Seeing as how the newly-named Lamppost Liberation Front (our regular flypasting posse) were going to go big-time for a big-time event, the event and the mood called not just for a single poster, but a series, a complete iconography that signified concerned groups from all backgrounds uniting for social/economic justice, and all that other good stuff. Once again, I went for an image that everybody knows, usually used to symbolize humanity in some noble, artistic fashion or other. Also once again, I'm far from the first to rip off DaVinci's famous Vitruvian drawing for analogy or satire, but everybody here thought the context was quite "fresh".

This series also appeared on t-shirts sold to benefit the Mobilization for Global Justice. The t-shirts had their own special heroic history; maybe a couple of weeks before A16, the convergence space was raided and shut down by the cops and the fire marshal on trumped-up fire hazard (coleman stove brewing coffee) and explosives (coleman stove tank) charges and, in the process, a large number of the shirts were siezed. We managed to sell the rest, but it several months or so before we got our shirts back, meaning that there are a couple of small surviving batches of brand-new, unwashed, unworn A16 shirts out there at last report.

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Anarchist Liberty

Give me your Starbuck's, your Gap,
Your Nike Towns full of sweatshop inventory,
Your McDonald's, gobbling profit and craving more,
Send these, and tacky corporate-branded outlet malls to me,
I put my Louisville Slugger through your plate-glass door!

Oh, alright, so I'm not the first to parody Emma Lazarus, but it seemed to fit so well here, and was one of my rare moments of lyric/poetic mockery inspiration; the verse just sort of sprang out of my head fully formed and ready, and it seemed a shame not to use it.

I'd also done several versions of Miss Liberty, but all of them portrayed as a victim, or as being set upon by mobs of born-again rightist nutcakes. This is the first time I'd done her as someone taking direct action on her own behalf, and with a downright awful attitude.



This was a companion piece of sorts to Who Will Control The Government's Guns?, addressing the whole question of corporate property destruction and what constitutes "violence" in the context of the mass actions in Seattle which shut down the WTO meetings that year.

Like Who Will Control..., this was done within a few days -- if not the very day after -- seeing TV footage of the night of November 30 and reading accounts via the Seattle IMC of police violence against nonviolent protests and Seattle city government abuses of the basic civil liberties of the general population. I ended up taking a position on the property destruction issue which, like my gun-law stance, provoked a lot of eyebrow-arching among the old-line "Gandhi Groupie" contingents in The Movement™. Basically, I decided that if no humans were targeted or injured in a Black Bloc-style attack on corporate property, it was OK, and that it didn't constitute "violence". What the hell, I thought; when the windows on big banks and the fronts of Nike Town or Starbucks are smashed all to hell, do all the un-smashed globalized chain stores' windows organize a solidarity commmittee? When the windows on all the Navigators and Explorers are smashed out within five blocks of the WTO meeting, do all the other SUVs organize a collection to cover the repair bills? Besides, what about all the destruction of human lives and communities being carried out by the corporations whose windows were smashed out during WTO Week? Windows are comparitively cheaply and easily replaced.

I also suggested the reactionary Old New Left types consider the acts of the Berrigan Brothers who, by dragging cabinets full of draft records into a parking lot and setting them afire, helped impede business as usual for the Vietnam War, not to mention proabably saved a lot of young guys from dying in Vietnam. I also reminded the Gandhi Groupies to take a look outside the coddled world of US activists, and consider how demonstrations and direct action are done in Europe, Latin America, Asia, and pretty much the entire planet outside of the USA -- the French students in 1968 flipping cars to use as barricades, striking Bolivian miners bringing dynamite sticks to protests because they know the police and soldiers aren't there to protect them.

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Who Will Control the Government's Guns?

Government (in the form of police) violence against nonviolent protesters at the Seattle WTO Meetings had many in The Movement questioning the relevance of strict Ghandian Nonviolence in modern street protest. It also changed a lot of my attitude toward Federal and State gun-control laws. I suddenly noticed that all of these laws were about disarming the People, and not the State.

Things got really awkward all of a sudden. Now, I'm really not a violent guy at all. I've always believed that war -- and situations that drive citizens to take up arms against their government -- are an indication of epic failure: ethical failure, cultural failure, moral failure, and spiritual failure. After Seattle, though, I started thinking more about people in Latin America, Asia, and Africa, who are fighting US-backed state/corporate dictatorships and are forced to literally fight the police -- and often soldiers -- in the streets, often just for the right to gather in the streets to voice their grievances in the first place...and they aren't necessarily fighting by Gandhi's rules. I started thinking about the Palestinians, engaged in their resistance against the Israeli occupation of their country... and, they weren't exactly holding candles and singing kum-bah-yah, either.

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Got War?

Heading into the home stretch of Clintontime, all the media gush about the Clinton Legacy conveniently left out the assaults on the Constitution, military adventurism in violation of the Constitution and the War Powers Act, not to mention a little perjury. Oh, wait, yeah, that's right, we had that big ol' Impeachment trial coming up; and if your name happened to be Bill Clinton, then there was only one thing to do: War Scare Time again, boys and girls! This time, as I recall, it was Serbia and its head of state, Slobodan Milosevic, who were Enemy Of The Month owing to accusations of "mass murder" or somesuch against Milosevic, in which it was eventually discovered that the "mass" part came to about the total annual murder rate for DC in a good year. So, President Elvis' Secretary of Snake...uh, Snake, the venerable old Reaganoid Madeleine Albright, was engaged in a round of diplomacy with Mr. Milosevic right about this time -- if, by "diplomacy", you mean "sign this absurdly one-sided, crippling list of our demands*, or else we'll crater your asses flat". Nothing, if not Mafia Diplomacy...only difference was, the actual Mafia would've let him slide with broken fingers.



Meanwhile, with the "Impeachment Tide Surging" -- as USA Today put it -- it was time once again for President Bubba to get all Presidential, meaning, of course, to fan up another war scare someplace against a country with no air force and damn near nothing to shoot back with and then fly the most technically sophisticated, most expensive and deadliest air force on the planet over them and stomp the fertilizer out of them for about a month and a half while going on TV with some grim-assed speech about how you had to do it. Also, if you've really got your ducks together, you find some fresh-faced young flack from Human Rights Watch to go on the Today Show the week the bombing starts and deliver the most spectacularly convoluted, steaming, quivering mass of triagulation ever seen in any mass media to date in an attempt to show that it really is OK that Clinton's air force is bombing civilians because they're defending human rights against Milosevic.

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Clinton's Place in History

November of '98, heading towards the end of The Good Old Clintontime, saw the by-now usual Sunday morning spew about the Clinton Legacy. Predictably, this took the form of gushing about "welfare reform" and his Crime Bill, but not a whole lot about the things that were really on peoples' minds -- like the Chinese takeover of American manufacturing, and stagnating wages. What we did hear a lot about, as well, was how well he dealt with the Iraqis, and his decisive action in his missile attacks on The Sudan and Afghanistan -- which turned out to have targeted civilians (as usual) and were timed so soon after his video testimony in the Lewinsky Scandal that it could've been the premise for a movie (what? wait a minute...)...



...which brings us to the real Clinton Legacy, the legacy of one of most right-wing and violent Administrations ever to be winked at and given a free pass by desperate, fawning, attention-whoring American Liberalism. Let's see... there was extra-Constitutional military violence against Iraq (twice), the Sudan, Afghanistan, Somalia, Serbia; threatening and dick-wiggling at North Korea, Bosnia, and Iran -- not to mention the military assault on the Branch Davidian outfit, with young children and elderly inside, right here in the good old USA. All this -- on top of assaults on the Constitution at every possible opportunity, most notably in the form of the 1996 Communications Decency Act which sought sweeping censorship powers over the then-emerging Internet and which was deservedly smacked down by the Supreme Court -- gave President Elvis Clinton a legacy that any modern head of state could envy, if his name happened to be Deng Xiaoping.

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Paid Political Announcement

It was Sam Smith, writing in his Progressive Review, who beautifully characterized the Clinton Mob as "corporate lawyers with their own air force", and nowhere was that more evident than President Bubba's seemingly random, shits-and-giggles cruise-missile attacks on Baghdad in the early fall of 1996, right in the midst of his campaign for a second term, and probably for some random made-up "no-fly zone" violation or something.

Enemy-of-the-Month Club

About this time, at the peak of O.J. Frenzy, I was noticing a pattern in the media: that of what I liked to call the "Enemy Of The Month". Didn't it seem like that to you... seemed like every other day, there was some huge hysterical alarm in the media about some inflammatory hot-button bullshit issue like rap lyrics, or heavy metal lyrics, or cyberporn, or immigrants, or the Iraqis, or "hate speech", or... O.J.!



Brilliant -- in a ham-fisted fashion -- when you think about it: what better way to keep peoples' minds off of any actual real economic and social issues than keeping their panties in a bunch about a constant parade of shallow, sensationalistic "issues" like flag burning, TV violence, cyberporn, rap lyrics and -- most heinous of all at the time -- teen smoking. For some mysteriously weird reason that summer, a longtime American tradition was being raged over as if it were an asteroid about to hit the Earth. Needless to say, much of this starred President Elvis all over the TV lecturing us about teenaged smoking, using his Baby Boom membership as a tired-assed "I know, I remember the Sixties" bully pulpit. Hearing the broadcast browbeatings made me ask any Liberal within earshot, "Did you people honestly think this guy was going to give us any meaningful policy reforms on medical marijuana or drug policy in general? I mean, f'cripesake, listen to the guy!"

The real, personal insult on top of injury came that summer, a couple of weeks after Jerry Garcia had died, when President I Didn't Inhale, in his daily radio blather, chose once again to beat us over the head with the teenaged smoking "issue", vomiting smarm and condescension over my radio at staggering rates, alarmingly making note of Garcia's death in the speech, finishing with words to the effect of "remember what happened to Jerry! Just Say No, Kids!"

Right then, in that very instant -- that very fleeting little instant, sitting next to the boombox on the beach, mouth poised over a fresh slab of pizza, gulls snatching fries off the blanket, airplanes towing advertising overhead -- I felt that I could've dropped what I was doing, gotten some clothes on, driven back to DC, and risked certain life imprisonment for assaulting El Presidente, just for the satisfaction of crashing the speech and smacking President I Didn't Inhale square across the chops, on the air, for using rhetoric so crassly exploitive that it set a perverse "Gold Standard" for crass exploitation, even for the Clinton Mob.

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Spot the Terrorist

I always hated listening to Democrats and Liberals bitching about government abuses in the name of "fighting terrorism" under George W. Chimp, as they always seem to forget that their own boy, Bubba Clinton, wanted to do just about the same things after the Murrah Federal Building bombing in Oklahoma City. Who were the first people he wanted to go after? Go on, take a guess. Not surprised? Neither was I, hearing that President Bill's number-one target under his prototype Patriot Act was the Left. The crackpot "militias" in Montana, Michigan and Idaho -- guys who had actual guns and openly professed a willingness to use violence against their opponents, guys like OKC bomber Timothy McVeigh -- apparently were no huge threat, until Clinton needed the threat of rightist violence to scare people into accepting his authoritarian "anti-terror" measures... and then, oh, yeah, the rightist militia cranks were the goddamn' Enemy Of The Month. Never mind that Mr. Crime Fighter, Mr. Put Several Hundred Thousand More Cops Onto The Streets, Mr. Three-Strikes, never appeared to lift a finger on the womens' clinic shootings and bombings. Nahh, Mr. Crime Bill's first instinct here is to go for the crowd pleaser, and jail the Left -- as per usual.



So, some years later, when I saw the Government's response to 9/11 -- basically, the Oklahoma City response dialed up to 11 -- I wasn't all that surprised (unlike all the pants-pissing Liberals around me), having seen it all before from a Democratic administration, that of the Clinton Mob... but just try and point that out to your average mindless partisan Liberal, and watch their goddamn' heads explode from cognitive dissonance overload.

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Life: What a Wonderful Choice

About the same time the anti-abortion fanatics were defacing Dave Letterman's program with their "Life: What A Wonderful Choice" issue ads, their foot soldiers in the field were busy bombing clinic and shooting at doctors -- and patients. A spate of clinic shootings and bombings around mid-1995ish went largely unremarked on by President Bill, as I recall, as Mr. Bill may have been busy trying to provoke Iraq and "reform" welfare (as we know it).



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Clinton's (insert failed domestic initiative here)

With President Bubba ensconced in the Oval Office, we saw a quickly-established pattern of failure in domestic policy initiatives followed by dick-wiggling and small-scale military intervention overseas -- or some bad-assed "criminal justice" action at home -- in an effort to appear "Presidential". This was especially noticeable in the areas of economic stimulus and the last laughable attempt at health care "reform".

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Reinventing Government no.2

Right there it was, smack dab on the front of the Washington Post, this Major, this UN military mission flack, spewing what had to be one of the most twisted, most spectacularly weird and otherworldly excuses ever made for something like spraying unarmed protesters in the streets with machine-gun fire from helicopters and President Bubba, from all reports at the time, being totally OK with that.



One of my friends in one of the crews we had out with this piece tells an interesting story: that night, while saturating Dupont Circle and vicinity with this one, my friend's crew is beseiged by five or six young College Democrat types whining, "It's not Bill's fault!"... sort of a precursor to Chris "Leave Britney Alone!" Crocker at least nine years pre-YouTube. Yeah, that's right; my pal and his crew were harassed by Liberals for putting up anti-war posters.

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